-
Posts
-
My ex broke up with me a year ago and it was bad. She thought I cheated on her when I never did. After she called me a lot of bad things and ignored me I said I would hurt myself. She then broke up with me and told myself and others she did for either one or both of those reasons depending on who she talked to. Then because I was so sad I decided to go to a bar and add girls on fb two weeks after the break up and after I tried to get her back and she just said I don’t know. She found out I did those things and got more mad. Then we became friends for a week until I tried again because she kept saying she was hanging out with guys. She said don’t talk to her twice after. 2 months later was her bday we talked nice the whole day. Then randomly at night I sent her a really nice text and she flipped out again and said I sent that to everyone. I finally flipped out after to gain some self respect told her I only ever loved her, I never cheated nor ever would or ever even think about it, if I was so sad that she was mad at me that I wanted to hurt myself that meant I didn’t do it, that I’m the one that wanted the relationship in the first place so why would I ever cheat. She blocked me after. A week later I used my friends phone and sent her something that said sorry for everything including the latest text and thanks for the good times. Her mom chatted me and said leave her alone after. 3 months later she blocked me on meet me when I saw her profile. I made a fake fb to see what she was up to 3 months after that. She probably found out it was me and unfriended it. Then 2 months later I randomly saw her at the mall. I was so scared to talk to her so I just said hi, she responded and said hi good to see you again and left. A month later I seriously randomly saw her at a new job she got because I purp went to a different store that she used to work at to not see and turns out now she works at that one. There I was going to try talking again she turned away though so I just said is that you and left. The next day I got a call from the cops and apparently she called them about that and the mall. I told them exactly what I wrote and they said she sounds kind of crazy just like everyone else told me but I still love her. The cops said I should try to avoid her because even if I don’t do anything and she keeps going to them then she can get a restraining order on me. I still love her but have no idea what I can possibly do now. Should I just wait years or something then try sending a letter? Or should I try calling in a few months to a year? Please help.
GO ahead and contact her 🙂 send her a letter prove you never cheated on her but dont expect reply move on and if she meant to be she will.. take it easy she is hurt
To be honest OP, it wouldn’t surprise me if she had cheated on you.
Seems like her anger might be due to guilt. She probably knows by now that you didn’t cheat, but since she may of she’s angry.
I don’t know, room for thought.
Do you think sending her a letter would be considered harrasment now though? Because she told me not to contact her like a couple times and called the cops when I randomly saw her in person. So do you think I should wait like a long time before sending it and try to move on in the process? Also your not the only one that said she probably cheated on me first and that’s why she’s mad. First my mom and sister said that but now I heard it from a lot of people that are hearing my story. What to do now than with even this information?
I’m sorry but it’s over and there’s nothing, yes, NOTHING you can do about it.
And the reason why? “she told me not to contact her like a couple times and called the cops when I randomly saw her in person.”
She doesn’t want anything to do with you and sending her a letter is likely going to get you a restraining order.
It also begs the question: how often have you tried contacting her?
I’m now positive she cheated on you, your sister and mum are probably right.
I think the best thing you can do for yourself now is to move on with your head held high knowing that your ex isn’t worth your time.
I tried to contact her or did like 6-7 after the first time she said not to. Some of the times were good some were bad and that’s where it left off now. That’s not counting the times I did before and after the break up before she said that. Every time I was extremely nice and tried to cover everything saying I’m sorry it looked bad but I never cheated and saying I was sorry that I even said I wanted to hurt myself because I felt so sad that she was sad/mad. There was just the one kind of mean text that I tried to get self respect back that I already wrote about . But that happened in the middle of those times and it still shouldn’t have even been mean. It was all the truth and what happened saying that she hurt me too and she should have believed the truth because I trusted her. The only mean-ish part of it was I said maybe I should block you now but only so we can take a break from fighting for a little but still ended it nicely saying she has multiple other ways to contact me still and that I love her. ………………….. I also want to thank everybody for reading and responding to my story it really helps to get it out there. Also the fact that more and more people are saying that she is probably mad because she cheated on me is actually kind of helping me get through it because at least then I know I’m not the bad one or something like that. Also knowing that I at least tried something helps a lot too. Like you said I tried everything and I don’t know what to do without risking a restraining order right now besides just hoping for the best or trying to move on for a long time then maybe sending her something after a long time. Unless someone thinks there’s a way to contact her that she won’t be able to get something against me. Because life sucks so much right now knowing she left me but it would probably hurt way more if she got something against me and ruined the rest of my life with everything else and still didn’t come back. So I currently have no idea except to move on completely or for a year or longer then send something or just send something now if there’s a way that people would definitely know it might work or just risk it all.
All this is just emphasising what I said was right @SeanL.
She’s over it, she doesn’t want you back and she wants to move on. You should to.
If she cheated on you, something that seems to be the case, she isn’t the kind of woman you want in your life. Not only that but she’s making you feel guilty over something you’re adamant you hadn’t done (i.e cheat on her). How often did she accuse you of cheating? Or was it when she broke up with you only?
That being said, I think this all boils down to your behaviour: you’re too nice. Yes, you’re letting her walk over you whilst agreeing to her like a puppy – Something Kevin says is a massive mistake. You need to stand up for yourself, if you’re not happy with a decision she has made you need to stand up for yourself.
I’ve done this loads of times in the past, let a girl walk over me because I was too nice. But then I learnt not to be such a wuss and when I didn’t agree with something I let them know and I stood my ground.
Why on Earth would you wait a year just to send something?? She’ll have moved on by then 1000% … What would be your intention anyway? To try and get her back?!
You DON’T contact her anymore (ever) … don’t listen to the people here telling you to send her a letter … because she won’t answer (that’s a promise and a certainty). She’ll roll her eyes, tear it up, throw it away and quite possibly get the authorities involved as she did when you tried to meet up with her.
Do you understand? Do you realise that there’s nothing to go on with this?
She had little random things during our relationship that I though were jokes before it ended. Such as we would watch a movie and there would be pillow fight scene then she would get mad at me for a random stupid joke or something and I would be like your joking right like you know it’s a movie. She also asked me before if she can sleepover a guys house that she was friends with that I never even saw before. I said no and made a rhetorical question out of it by saying would you be mad if I slept over a girls house, she then got mad at me by hanging up and not talking to me for the night until I met her at the park- that was our first and only other fight thing before the break up one. And she would say like we should watch porn to know more things we can do later then when she was breaking up with me she found out I did and said I was disgusting. Also after the break up a time that I tried to get her back I added girls on fb, snapchat and got some numbers because we were single for like 2 months. I tried to get her back again and she flipped out saying I was a cheating disrespectful person because even now I was talking to other people. She said this because she saw my snapchat and she was second on it but I was third or not even on hers. I didn’t know what to think of this at the time but now after the events apparently what other people are telling me she was just looking for ways to break up. Including using double standards. But I still don’t know if I should believe them or her (maybe I just never got to tell her the truth the right way yet….. The letter or something) (because maybe I sounded mean before or didn’t write it good or wait long enough…..but I still and always said I didn’t do it) and I still love her and would want to send something to try to get her back. But like you said before idk how or when or if it’s even possible now.
BINGO! “She also asked me before if she can sleepover a guys house that she was friends with that I never even saw before. ” … that “friend” was probably the guy she was seeing behind your back.
Anyway, it was a very toxic relationship. Don’t try and get her back. Move on.
I tried those things before a year and the cop thing happened a couple weeks ago. Which would make it like a year now then. I just thought waiting this long to try those things or waiting longer to try things would maybe work because people keep telling to give it time but be persistent. And yeah I see what you mean with that whole sleepover thing. A lot of people were telling me that as well now. And the fact that she flipped out at first I thought was my fault for trying to stoop down to her level or something like that because she told me something like that when it happened and said she got mad because I asked her specifically or something but now that I’ve been talking to people they all seem to say, it seems like she got mad at my rhetoricalI question like that because one she is either insane or two she is either extremely jealous but should have told me or talked to me about it instead of getting mad and flipping out all the times she did or three she got mad at it because I caught her red handed and then she blamed me for cheating when I never did for something stupid, I forgot to erase on my phone that I never even went on the whole time weeks later because they say she was just looking for a reason to break up with me after that. I still love her but more people keep saying the same things to me now and it starts to seem true if that many people are saying it. So yes I see all your points of view but for some reason that’s why I waited so long to do those things and why I could try waiting longer to do other things because I still love her but have no idea how, what or when to even try anything anymore. Because I basically said everything already even if it was bad grammar or sounded mean at one point, also I randomly saw her and she apparently got mad at that. But yes I would still like to get back with her after all of this.
@Seanl … I’m going to have to be mean right now because you’re not getting it.
MOVE THE F*** ON. This is TOXIC and it’s clearly bringing you down.
It’s been a whole freaking year and you’re still bargaining?!
Waiting a week, a month, or hell a whole year ISN’T going to change anything – jack shit! It’s just going to prevent you from moving on and meeting new, more exciting women who don’t call the cops on you.
You think she’s the “insane” one here? Do you know what the definition of insane is?
“Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results” … let that sink in.
And then to put the cherry on top:
“But yes I would still like to get back with her after all of this.”
Don’t kid yourself pal … we both know it’s not going to happen.
I hope the next time you come back on here, maybe in 3-4 months, you’ll have found someone else.
Good luck!
Solid I don’t want to be out of order here, I am all for a bit of tough love. But you are putting up your own posts and clearly not in a good place your self. People come to this site for guidance and help. If they wanted people to be idiots they would go else where.
@Jburg32 … Sure people here for guidance and help, but people come on here to give guidance and help. Don’t get alarmed because someone, no matter what their state, is giving guidance and help to someone who just isn’t seeing clearly.
“If they wanted to be idiots they would go somewhere else”
So you begin with a message claiming you “don’t want to be out of order” but then call someone an idiot in a passive aggressive way?
This is why any remark which begins with “I’m not racist, but …”, “I’m not a douche, but …”I’m not trying to be rude/out of order, but …” almost always precedes a derogatory remark.
Basically, jog on.
@ Nora, once again you give seriously really bad advice! This guy basically has law enforcement involved in this breakup and yet you are telling him that it’s okay to contact her. I think she’s mad because you sound like a clingy type of guy or she cheated. Either way, she doesn’t want anything to do with you. She is telling you over and over again that she is done with you forever. I know it’s hard to hear but it’s true. IGNORE the advice that Nora is giving you because it’s ridiculous.
You need to seriously get over this girl for good. I guarantee that the situation won’t change in a year or twenty. She has totally lost respect for you because you are starting to annoy her and are threatening to hurt yourself. Girls see that as a weak guy move and that is not attractive and very pathetic. Pretend she fell off the planet and no longer exists.
@JBurg-I totally agree with Solid. Regardless if Solid is in a good place or not, he is giving excellent advice. I’m a relationship writer and am in a relationship of several years so I’m in a good place. And I’m telling you that I strongly feel that Seanl needs to move on and forget this girl existed. He’s stuck in time thinking that he can get her back when we all know that is impossible. She’s clearly lost respect for him and thinks he’s more of a stalker than anything. I know because in the past when I was 18, I had the same kind of situation in my life. So the best thing for him to do is to go out and meet other girls and make an actual effort to move on. This girl doesn’t want him at all. Every fact proves that. If she was wearing a neon blinking sign, she couldn’t be more clear. So Solid is right, it’s time to move the fuck on.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.