I broke up with her and I regret it. In desperate need of some Help and guidance

Hello everyone. I’ve never done anything like this but I honestly believe that this girl is the love of my life and I’m willing to do anything to get her back. First I’ll give a little background on our complicated situation. We were together for 6 months and it wasn’t until the 6th month that things started to go bad. I wasn’t patient and I got lazy. We lived an hour apart and we let it get to us. We fought quite a bit but we were always happy when we were in person. We broke up but I honestly can’t say how it happened. She remembers it like I left her but I remember it being a mutual decision. She would say things like “whatever this is, it isn’t a relationship” or “how can you be in a relationship with someone you never even see” and I let it get to me. I stopped fighting because I thought she would be happier without me. After we broke up I was miserable but everywhere k looked people said it was normal to feel that way and forget why you broke up. So I believed it and tried to get over her. We never really talked for two months and when we did we would fight. I kept pushing her away and just kept telling myself that it was for the best and that We would both move on. We tried to reconcile once and she came over and we watched tv for a while but then she just got mad because she felt like I wasnt trying. I never once felt better after these two months and so finally I tried texting her and confessed my feelings for her and how I was never over her snd still loved her and such. Well we started hanging out again and we would kiss and make love to each other but then out of nowhere she said we had to stop and just be friends. She said I pushed her away for too long and she moved on and while she still loves me she isn’t in love with me. This was about the beginning of December or late November( December is the third month of our breakup) so she would be distant and refused my attempts to hangout. I tried everything you’re not supposed to, like begging her to give me one more chance and such. Well nothing worked. She confused me though because she invited me to stay a weekend with her and sleep over and I did. But all we did was cuddle (barely) and she never kissed me. It was heartbreaking. That was sort of the point that I realized she might not be in love with me anymore. I called her the day we got back and tried to get her back one more time and she wouldn’t do. Said she didn’t feel that way about me anymore. So I blocked her on everything (Twitter, Instagram, Facebook etc.) this made her mad. Then I found this site after some desperate searching. I tried the no contact thing and used tumblr ( she still follows me on that) to make it seem like I was moving on and it started getting her attention. She would actually text me first again and that made me feel like she was getting worried. I kept it up for s few days until New Years. I tried to get her to be my news years kiss (mistake) but I did find out she didn’t want to because she was scared she would fall in love with me again. I took that as a good sign. So now on January 1st my plan is to start the no contact period and try to lesrn to play guitar. I’m just trying to see if there is any hope she will want me back after our confusing breakup. I’ve been a complete wreck these past few weeks. I’m so in love with her. And I see her talking to other guys on social media (part of the reason I blocked her) and it makes me feel like there is no hope. It hurts so much. And when she told me she had a New Years kiss with some guy it hurt even worse. I get so jealous and I miss her so much. Please someone help me. I don’t know what to do

Ps. a little background of her is that she dated a real loser for three years and was constantly trying to get his attention etc. so she claims that when “I walked out on her” she started feeling like that again and she didn’t wsnt to be that person anymore. So she said that helped her move on. she didn’t want to feel like she had to fight for my attention. She didn’t want to be like she used to be.