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Hi my name is Kevin.
We were together for about a year until all of a sudden she fell out of love with me. We’ve been on and off a couple times this month but after 5 days I couldn’t help but call her without an answer.. I never cheated on her, abused her, lied to her or neglected her..and yet she said I was full of lies and disrespect.. I asked her if she was still mad at me because I was sensing tension when we got back together and she blew up at me.. Based on what I’ve told here, what are people’s opinions? I’m at a loss for words here.. I still love her but she seems to hate me and never wants to see me again.. It doesn’t make sense because earlier that night we were both laughing and having a great time.. Please help me!!!! I don’t wanna lose her!!
The last time we got back together I gave her a week of space and then went to her house to apologize and everything was great… At least I thought it was. I wanna go back over but she made it very clear to stay away.. She seems to hate me and I feel like no contact would only make her forget about me and move on… Please help me anybody!!
Dear Kevin, Looks like we are pretty much on the same ship, just that for me, its that i started NC subconsciously, hence she thought that I was trying to cut off contact, which hurt her unintentionally, and now that she seems like she detest me like i’m a pest too. Well, I’m now on my 10th day of NC and I’ve got to meet her for a training which we signed up together, hence I’m pretty anxious now and fear I might just mess things up tomorrow. Sorry that I went off course a little. For me, I’m leaving it to faith whether if NC would cause her to move on or not. However first of all, there is definitely an underlying issue that caused our ex to have wanna leave us, an issue which we need to confront and overcome to be a person who is better in character and state of mind so that we could be once again recharged to shower love to our special one. There is definitely a reason why she accepted you to be her special one in the first place. Right now, I’m controlling my state of mind to bring me back into that scenario, to be the once so loving and sincere guy I used to be. It is deep down within, just waiting to express it to her. I hope my example could give you some guidance or insight towards something that suits you best. All the best Kevin. Be strong and have faith.
Kevin ,
Don’t show your desperation and neediness to her. Beware of these two things. These make you totally unattractive. The more you beg, the more you lose. No contact can make you seems like the one she used to love before, attractive guy who was not easy to get.
In my experience, I showed a lot of desperation, that’s why i lost more.
I started with my NC like you think now. But I am in my NC now. I’ve got strange contact from ex. I’m sorry if my advice can’t help you.My only hope is no contact? I appreciate the help guys. It looks like that’s my only option now.. I miss her but you’re both right. If anyone else has any opinions or light to shed on my situation please do so. I would appreciate any opinions!!
Khine, in your experiences after being dumped, how long has it typically taken for your ex to reach out to you while you’re doing no contact?
It doesn’t make them forget you. Even if they do, one day they’d realize it’s been a while and wonder why you’re no longer bugging them and it increases the likelihood of them calling you. My ex called me after 32 days of no contact. We had a short catch-up convo and I’ve returned to no contact. I plan to do no contact indefinitely, either he will chase me or I’ll move on…because I’m not into convincing someone to want to be with me…
In my case, my ex won’t let me go away. Although he is in new relationship, he want me to wait for him . He doesn’t let me in love with other guy. It means I have to keep the responsibility of gf to him but he doesn’t keep his responsibility of bf anymore. It means he put me into doormat, safety-net, back-up plan as I always allow him whatever he decide. He doesn’t respect me. So, the only thing I can do is No Contact. But before I’m in my NC , he doesn’t contact me some how as he really know he can get me whenever he wants. That’s why he doesn’t care me or contact me.
After doing NC, he call me after 1 week. I didn’t pick it up. Ignore and cool about it. But inside of me, so heartbeat seeing his ph call. But no more pick up. Over 1 week , he called my cabled ph ( i can’t see number of incoming call ) . So, accidentally talk with him. He said that he have to choose now. Whether his new gf or me. I said ” DON’T CHOOSE ME, I don’t make a queue and wait for you to choose me, just leave me alone, I need time and space ” . Then finish my ph call. He keep calling me. I sent his message as Kevin taught me ” I need time and space , just keep our lives professional and keep our personal lives separate ” . But After treating cool about him, he still keep calling me like once a week or twice a week . sometimes, twice a day. Whatever, I don’t pick it up till now. Whatever my cabled phone rings, I don’t pick it up. My family only pick it up.kevinsmusicrox, I really want you to do NC. So, you can get back your respect. If she respect you, she will care about you. No more begging to her. Beware of this ! Don’t give her power to play you by begging her.
Thanks you guys and Khine, I think you’re absolutely right about that. I’m dying to talk to her all the time but if she really loves me like she told me EVERYDAY, she will come to her senses and realize how much I respected her and how different her life is without me. And brokenlove, you’re right too. No way should I have to convince someone to be with me when they used to promise me “forever” all the time. If that’s true they will realize what they’re missing. My only promlem I may have is ignoring her calls (if she calls) but I’ll certainly do my best to stay no contact.
Dear kevinsmusicrox, Have you already subscribed Kevin’s email ? If not , go try it. Kevin helps us alot. Every word told by Kevin is precious. I think you need to read his advices in Blog of this website,too. Highlight the words if it is useful for you. I always copy Kevin’s mail , save them in word files and highlight the words and I read them whenever I feel hurt. Sometimes, I don’t even need friends (outside) to open my feelings. That emails also can help you . However, they can ease your feeling. I can’t believe myself. Last 1 month, I can’t live without my ex , I always beg him. I think no one on the world hasn’t ever begged like me to their ex. But now, I can’t believe myself. I’m easily drinking water beside his ph call.
But no one knows your relationship more than you. I hope you to handle it well. Fighting !! my fri. Gud luck !I used to get daily emails from Kevin but for the passed few days I haven’t gotten anything!!
You guys are awesome by the way. I’ll definitely be updating here if anything happens!!
Dear fri,
Sometimes, Kevin doesn’t send us emails. I am looking forward to get his emails too,. Sometimes, he misses for 2 days.
Update….
So basically I messed up. I gave in and foolishly texted her “Hey Alanna, how are you” to which she replied “Good and yourself?”. All I said after that was “I feel awesome, been going to the gym a lot more. What’ve you been up to?” And she never responded after that. I went over to her place the next day just to talk as friends. I saw her peak through the window and she tried ignoring me. I called her and promised I wasn’t trying to get back together. Just hoping we could talk for a sec.. And she said, more angry then I’ve ever heard her speak “You obviously have no respect for me” and hung up after that. I cried my eyes out and texted her horrible, horrible things. She then told me that she heard I had cheated on her which I never did. I feel like she’s just saying that to justify the break up but at this point I feel like there is no hope for this relationship… No contact was killing me but at this point it’s either no contact or move on. I feel like the only way would be if she was to reach out to me during no contact but after the things I said I doubt she ever will… I know I should’ve stayed no contact.. I just feel so miserable inside.. Anybody with advice would be much appreciated..
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