Boards Reconciliation i am confused and in anxiety

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  • #1594
    bhsid
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 29

    hello i am in a state of dilema here . i was the reason my ex gf broke up with me because i did not give her space and we had lots of fight but the main reason was that she thought that i was into someone else. i mean she knew i was not but how that idea got into her mind i cried every inch of power in me to expalin her that it was not true.

    so we went to holidays and she broke up during holidays i begged she refused and gave certain conditions that made me compromised.my dreams so i refused them . then we became friends but she again stopped talking because i was in the same coaching as that girl who my ex thot i liked. i had a crush on this girl but i told my ex that it was a crush and i was just giod friends with her.

    then during holdidays i went into no contact but she contacted me and started fighting and i begged again then again no contact

    then i wished ger on her bday she was happy then again no contact

    finally holidays ended we met in college and she behaved like a girlfriend trying to know everything about me getring jelous wen i tlked.to girl she even said she loved me.

    but suddenly stopped talking again now i hear she is talking to an old friend of her who is my cousin and a really bad guy.

    we ignore each other wen we see each other in campus.
    now i have my bday in two days she might call to wish.

    what should i do i hav anxiety disorder i love her and she plays with my emotions. i know i was rong but humans make mistakes. what should i do ?

    #1600
    a.z
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 778

    Start NC and continue it for 2 months.stop thinking about what she might be thinking/doing and don’t stalk her.
    If you believe you have serious anxiety issue,get therapy.
    Concentrate on your life and try to improve it.make positive changes in your life and always be happy,cool,positive and confident especially when she is around.
    Follow the plan.it will increases your chances.

    #1618
    bhsid
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 29

    i have my bday in two days she will call at nite but i think i will not respond and instead dall in the morning with an excuse.

    my problem is that is trusting the wrong people some days back she even gave me a call and said that she forgives me for both the mistakes i.e. not giving her space and givin someone else importance .

    i was like ok nice bt where does that leve us..she was clear that eveything will remain the same even after she forgives me that day we went to a cmn frnd’s bday treat together and she behaved like a girlfriend the whole time.

    now she is talking to the guy i dont want her to tlk to ..hez not a good guy and he will only turn her against me.

    #1626
    a.z
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 778

    Don’t worry about it.and stop obsessing over her.
    He can’t do anything if you follow the plan the right way.

    #1755
    bhsid
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 29

    i try but i am unable to stop obsessing over her.

    i dont show it to her or talk to her when we see each other we simply ignore but i am an over thinker and i dnt have the luxury of really good friend.

    she was my only good friend that i lost and i cnt seem to overcome the loss.

    my worst problem is im a overthinker.

    plz hlp me …

    #1811
    a.z
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 778

    Get your self busy.Don not stalk her on anything and don’t even look at her photos.don’t ask anyone anything about her.and get yourself busy.
    Take up a hobby,do something you always wanted to do.
    Are you sure you are following the NC the right way?
    Read the article again and focus on what you should do during NC.do it and you will feel really better.

    #1819
    bhsid
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 29

    i have my bday tmrw nite she will call at nite bt i wont recieve insted ill ca her in the morning telling an excuse…

    #1822
    a.z
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 778

    I don’t think if you should call her back.how long have you been on NC?

    #1825
    a.z
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 778

    Sorry i read your post above.you just started NC.Do not answer if she calls.if she texts wait until the next morning and only say thanks.Don’t talk to her if you do,you can’t control your emotions and you should restart NC.
    Happy early birthday,wish you all the best

    #1856
    bhsid
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 29

    ok i will do …
    thanku so much fr ur wishes and your help …

    😀

    #1911
    a.z
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 778

    Your more than welcome 🙂

    #1920
    bhsid
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 29

    we met today she took a small help n den on our ways….

    later she met one of.my seniors at mall and they tlked about me.

    she told no matter what she wont go back to me and then she told him that she had forgiven me and then because i went and talked to that girl whom i had a crush whom she thot i liked more ..she knew we were in same summer course and i had to tlk to her regading studies and i honestly told her and asked her to frgv me…but that time she blocked me and since then we majorly tlked after vacations gt over…

    she blames me.fr talking to her regarding studies and being honest to her and telling her everything..

    but if she had decided that tym only why did she behaved like a gf wen we met in clg …why did she played with my emotions…

    i m too heartbroken and angry on her…for doing this to me…

    #1997
    a.z
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 778

    You haven’t even finished NC yet.be more patient and work on yourself.
    Again,please don’t overanalyze what she says and what she does,did.you can’t get a logical answer out of it and it only stops you from doing NC the right way.
    I told you before, don’t stalk her and don’t ask anyone anything about her.
    If you really want her back,you should help yourself and become a happy confident person without her in your life.

    Here’s a checklist for ending no contact.

    -You followed the no contact rule for at least one month.
    -You are no longer a mess as you were after the breakup.
    -You have made a few positive changes in your life.
    -You are absolutely sure that getting back with your ex is a good decision.
    -You have gone on at least one date during no contact.
    -You have accepted the breakup and you are OK with the fact that you may never get your ex back and this might never work for you.
    -You have accepted the fact that even if you don’t get your ex back, you will be fine since there are endless opportunities in the world to find love and happiness.

    #2044
    bhsid
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 29

    ok i get u …
    she didnt wish me on my bday at all ….

    im really sry that im being stubborn bt its difficult ….

    #2049
    bhsid
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 29

    we even came across each other ..i was sitting with a frnd of mine (girl) outside the cafetaria in the college and i cud see she came to a far ditance where we both cud c each other but i didnt show her i was noticing she came towards me a bit then she went the other side then again she came towards me a bit then away…..

    even then she didnt wish me….my bday ..

    i wished her rite at the stroke of midnite and she was soo happy about it…and wat did she do?

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