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Apologies for the long posts
I went to a party last night after a long time and she asked me twice if I kissed anyone… seemed kinda weird. Do you think that’s of significance?
@JohnJ786 How does she know you went to the party last night? She asked about kissing someone else because she’s curious as whether you’re staying faithful to her or moving on..
We talk here and there still and she helped me pick out my outfit for last night
Do you think that’s the reason? I feel she may have gotten a little jealous, just by the way she asked
She asked me “Did u kiss a girl hahahaha” and I laughed it off, didn’t give an answer, and she said “Omg you did hahahaha” and I again, changed the subject, then a little while later she texted me saying “Did u kiss a girl why where your buttons ripped off” (because I had a wardrobe malfunction lol) … It just sounded like she seemed a little jealous and trying to find out information, casually
I asked why she keeps asking and she says she just wants gossip, and that she’s bored..
She even said we should get drunk together when she comes back, and she doesn’t know why we didn’t do that before
@JohnJ786 Yes, maybe a little jealous. If she helped pick out your outfit, she must have know you were going to the party before you went out.
Strange thing too about the buttons. I guess you told her the buttons were ripped off. Maybe to make her wonder about that and make her a little jealous too.
Getting drunk together after she gets back in August sounds like it might be a good idea.
Yeah we have been talking a little over the past couple days, not too much
and yeah, I sent her a picture of me and my top 2 buttons were open and she saved it, sent it back and asked what happened. Then assumed I was kissing a girl and she ripped it off haha.. I didn’t comment
I brought up the drinks thing today again she said “I’ll see” but she has always been an “I’ll see” person so hoping it does happen! Long time to go still
I would also like to add that when I made that log of what she said to me, I kept it so I wouldn’t forget and remind myself things are okay, she’s not going to end things with you etc. That’s why I kept it, to make myself feel better. Also, I made it during my winter break, so not really anything to do. I wouldn’t have time normally
Edit: And today, she kept asking again if I kissed anyone. I asked why is she asking and she said “it’s always interesting when your ex gets with someone” and she says “I’m bored” and that’s the reason… a few months back when we were “in love” I went to a party and she said I should get with a girl I was talking to (platonically) there, that she gets a “rush” If I get with another girl, that it excites her.. something about being happy for me moving on as well but I’m not sure she said this exact words.
@JohnJ786 I’m sorry to say, but to me, she seems immature. While in love, a woman wanting the man to get with another girl is very strange and unnatural!
However, if she has moved on, I can understand that she would be happy if you moved on too.
Why don’t you just tell her the truth as to whether you kissed someone at the party or not. Honesty is always the best policy..
It is extremely strange.. I asked my friends about it too and they thought it was so weird… she would actually get jealous over girls that were interested in me when we were in love, but get excited when there was an opportunity for me to get with some random girl… very very strange
I think we lost track of things but, what should I do here now? I want to go NC but idk if that’s the best option to get her back, as it might make herself and this new guy closer… but idk
I am wondering if it is too late to go no contact.. it doesn’t seem like it will bother her at all, she seems very happy and content with her new thing with this new guy, and I just dont understand. I always saw this girl as warm and caring but this is such an awful thing to do to someone, telling them you love them while knowing u have feelings for another guy, the guy that the person you’re “in love” with always worried about… its just terrible tbh and idk how I’m ever going to get past this. I just want her to realise she’s being dumb and suddenly lose feelings for him and miss me.. its just hard and i dont know what the heck to do
@JohnJ786 She will do what she wants to do and grow closer feelings for James if she wants to, whether you contact her or not. But maybe she’s just trying to make you jealous by teasing you with her comments about him. That possibility, which is cruel, and the fact that a few months ago while professing love for you, she suggested you get with another girl; that it would excite her and she would get a “rush” from it, is abnormal!!
I suggest you start no contact and date “normal” girls at least until August..
It was 2 months ago where she would be telling me he how crazy she is about me… then a day or two later end it lol
Maybe 3 months ago she said that thing, where I should hook up with another girl etc… but I now if I did she would definitely have gotten jealous..
Even now, she was saying “I think it’s a good thing” if I go out and date this girl we both know… I don’t know why
She was telling me tonight that the reason she was drawn to James back in 2017 was because it was so clean and drama free and stable and that’s why she really wanted it back then
I feel the same thing might be at play here, that our situation was so unstable for her that now she’s with him, it seems very calm and relaxing in her mind
@JohnJ786 Yes, I know all that and I still stand by suggestion.. Go no contact and date “normal” girls until August.. maybe you’ll find a nice one:)
Go NC until August? Or only for a little while now?
I really really want her back but she’s so far away and involved with this new James guy somehow, I never expected this to happen and idk what to do to get her it’s like she’ll never come back 🙁
When we broke up last April she would still be flirty with me and hot/cold which kinda gave me signals she would come back , but now she is just completely platonic and idk what to do 🙁
@JohnJ786 Go no contact as briefly or as long as you want. Date others when you’re ready.
I still think you could do better with someone else for the long run..
Wishing you the best.Okay I’ll try go a week or two.. I wanted your opinion on something though
I was scrolling twitter and sometimes it says ” X person liked this tweet”
And she liked a tweet that said:
“I love the concept that love is a choice not just a feeling bc it’s true. Biologically, you can get used to someone & it’ll manifest as being tired of them or having the grass is greener effect on you. They could be doing everything right. That’s where the choice comes in.”
What does she mean by this?
What I get from it is that, she loved me but got used to it and it died down slowly, then she had to make a choice if she wanted to be with me or not, then weighed the options and decided she doesn’t… I always felt she broke up last April because she didn’t feel love for me anymore and didn’t understand that you can choose to love someone after the initial passion dies down… and she says dating me was nice but didn’t work “because of who we are as people” and I’m thinking she saw this and decided NOT to choose to love me then?
We did have some differences as everyone does, but a lot of the difference she thought we had, were bc of misunderstandings we would have. We recently talked about those and I clarified some things to her, and she said she appreciated me clarifying etc.. but I don’t know
I wanted your opinion on what you think that means to her…
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