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I appreciate having a place to share this. Hopefully someone may be able to help me out. I was with my ex for 6 years. After we broke up (I was in depression from a disability and was not doing anything with my life, fell away from god a bit because of my depression(which god is very important to her and i in a relationship).we loved each other tremendously more than we could comprehend. Our relationship was from 20yrs old to when we were about 26.
When we broke up she started dating another guy and I did all the wrong things. Fraking out. Pleading.. blahblha.blah.. lol.. anyways, my craziness made here go with him even tho she was thinking of giving me another chance because our love was so great before and she knew how much I loved her. She wanted to try something new different.. whatever.. I then gave her space and let her be. I spent 5months letting her dp her own thing while we still talked.. because she had started doubting the new guy after a few months and.thinking of me relentlessly. To the point of later having given me an entire notebook of love letters, poetry, and self confession. Well, she didnt come around until after I had met a nice.girl and.started dating her… that relationship ended after 4 months.. then my 6yr ex stil was trying to get me back. But I was so scared of her hurting me.. I actually tried to get the new.girl.back.. rather then the one I.truly love and want to be with. When I finalllly came around to beliving anything my long term ex said… she had started talking to the ex again outta lonelinesz. After all her chasing she wanted to be with me but ran.to.him since I was taken. When my recent girl broke up I went running right back to my long term ex realizing how stupid I was for not.taking her back as soon as she.came running. Now…
Me and her hang out.. she has some feelings. She loves but is not in love she says. She has told me that she feels complacency now because she feels our ship sailed already.. and she doesnt want to hurt me. But enjoys hanging out with me. Enjoys the affection and attention.. yet does bot want her feelings out. She says that she feels she is supposed to be led to her man and is why shes become complacent. Yet, that is EXACTLY how we met 7+ years ago. This is the girl I truly love. Want to marry, cherish and love every little thing about. Would do anything for.
I would like to know what any of u think… btw she talks to said ex whos relationship ended and says just friends. I believe its still more than that. But I dont know. They talk everyday. She calls him to.say goodnight.. I know.. yet says directl she will never be.in a relationship with him again. .. which is why I come to you.
SHE TOLD ME- specifically that she WANTS TO want to love me… how do I build off that when she belives our ship has sailed cuz the last thing she did was have to chase n.fight for me… rather than remember when we met… the lord led her right to me in church. We even.used to talk about how special it was… any ideas amy imsight plz. Help. Any questions to paint a better picture. Im open book. I know she is my soulmate. I want to be with her…. not just for me.. I want to be that guy that gives all of himself and all his love to her.. one of her biggest fears is… not.truly loving a husband cuz choose wrong one.. and having a man who loves her. But not truly how I.do. which this other guys doesnt. Im not too worried about the other dude other than her possibly not releasing feelings for.me again cuz there that crap between them. There is also the thing of he does.t live here its only phone.talk. they barely could see each other.. maybe wjy she talks cuz its safe n secure amd.shes in control. I dunno.
I would like insight maybe on the him her thing to help me out.. but he is a whatever idgaf.. he is bad for her and.she.knows it. But….
I need to know what I may be able to do to get her back. plz plz plz help
Thank you
This is very complicated but I can understand how you must be feeling. 6 years of relationship cannot end this way. You both made mistakes.
These kinda situation can drive anyine crazy. I am also experiencing crazy situation so I can tell.Did you try NC?
I would suggest take your chances and do NC. Don’t get involved in any relationship for now. Take a break from all whats going on in your life. It will give her space to think what she wants.
Good luck 🙂Like I said before we broke up 1.5 yrs ago.. didn’t talk for months while she was dating another guy til she started contacting me… woke she was with him and I was with a diff girl. Then me n her kinda started “hanging out to see what happens” about 6 months ago. I did NC for 3 months. Over a year ago.. per her request for the new relationship. She enjoys hanging out with me now. She just has this goddamn wall of we aren’t meant to be cuz she doesn’t feel led to me by god anymore. so she won’t let herself fall in love with me again. The struggle is real. Lol
Well, I dont think you can do anything about how she feels. I am not surr if it would work or not but take her on a perfect date. Do everything possible you can do for her. Have fun together dont talk about the relationship though. And after the date, dont contact her for a week. Even if she texts you, dont reply. May be it would drive her crazy.lol
K, we hang out almost every day now. At least 3 times a week. We been going on dates but not since my mindset and vibes changed about a week ago. Been helping her with everything for basically the past month cuz I was the one person willing to do anything for her. Even moved her entire apartment alone 17′ uhaul by myself while she is working, Staying up late working on projects with her. She kisses me, holds me, sleeps with her head on my chest if I ever stay over. Lives cuddling with me, she even gets giddy and comes up and kisses me. Essentially everything we had except for h err returning her love to me. Almost like she is just going thru the old motions to see if it works… but I want something new and better. Need to know what I can do to get to the next level. We have come very far from 1.5 years ago when we broke up. I just need more so help with the “putting the icing on the cake” cuz I know inside she loves me very deeply but does not currently feel “in love”… She even cried the other day at the thought of is not talking anymore because she still has some feeling. I mean.. She just texted me all morning. BUT YOU ARE SAYING, DON’T TALK ABOUT OUR “RELATIONSHIP”… cuz it doesn’t exist and could make things worse and to just do it like the first time I met her? Hope it works a second time. Lol
The only possible thing I see is to distance yourself again but getting in touch after a week so she knows you’re still there. You need to make her miss you and need you more. She’s having everything as if you both are together. I know I am not explaining myself clearly lol. But Are you getting it?
Yes missing me is derived from an appreciation and desire to have me around and bake the time we have. So basically leave a really good taste in her mouth after all this, then make her realize what’s missing when im nor there? Does it gp against the missing thing if she still talks to the other dude? She says they’re just friends but would she still miss me if she had an ex boyfriend “friends whatever” to keep get entertained if I don’t. Like she said she misses him.. not me… he loves 1k miles away. They won’t be together again. But I feel that contact causes her missing to go to the guy who actually isn’t around that just manipulates her with his words.
she hasnt told me she misses him not. I iist know cuz when I hang out he texts her. calls her. and she ignores it. but I feel she still says it cuz she never pushed the dpuchebag out into the world again where he belongs
Well, you really cant help about the other guy. You should just focus on yourself. If she gets herself busy with the other guy, you’ll show up after a week and spend great time with her. It will definitely make her wonder why you are acting like this. Do it for 2-3 times. Then see the situation and plan accordingly.
I just know he creates an unwanted challenge for me. despite wether theyd ever be together or not. I will tey the spacing a bit. hope it works. I will spend the next few days (cuz we already planned them out) with her. then she is going outta town for the weekend. I can start shifting my focus this way leading up to her taking off. but, should I talk to her while she is gone? or make her wonder why im not replying and see if she messages me to get together when she returns?
I think you should take advantage of the time you are with her and do the things that made her fall in love with you all over again. you should read the love dare and do it to her it may help and yes let her miss you when shes gone for the week end. good luck. 🙂 would you mind giving me your input on my situation. thanks
Dont say anything to her and let her wonder. And @aamls is also right. Read about the love dare its really nice. And then see which one would work for you. I am just a teenager (soon to be 20 lol) evaluate all the possible options and pursue the one you feel will do the magic. 🙂
no problem. any book store, christian book store, or online. I hope it works for you. good luck. 🙂 keep us posted. 🙂
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