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Me and my ex boyfriend was together for just over 3 years. It was the best thing that has ever happened to me. It was an amazing relationship. Everything was going fine and then over a week ago out of the blue, he said he wasn’t happy and didn’t want to be with me anymore. It broke my heart. The hardest thing is that we lived together and now it’s like he doesn’t want anything to do with me?
Last week he has that he does still love me but when I asked if he has been thinking about me he said ‘no not really’. Then I asked if he misses me at all and he said ‘I’m happy at the moment’ and then I asked if he would be bothered if I went out and kissed someone else and he said ‘no’.
I’ve not spoke to him in 4 days but last night I had to ask when he was coming to get the rest of his stuff and he said ‘my mum will come and get it’. And then I couldn’t help myself and I asked if he hates me and no reply.
After 3 amazing years with him, he now doesn’t want to see me, speak to me and it’s like he doesn’t care that it’s all over? Is this just an act? Is he really thinking about me? Does he care? I’m going out of my mind. All I want is to be with him!!
Any advice?
He just doing what most ppl do wen they break up he thinks he can live on his own and be happy and is free to do what he wants but will soon change he will realise what he lost but u just got let tham go throw it keep Tlkinh to tham only pushs tham away bbe
I cant stop thinking about him and all the good times we have had. But he is acting like he wants nothing to do with me? I’m started to think he might like/seeing someone else and I can’t cope with that thought!
He’s recently told me that he would go out on a night out and kiss someone else but he wouldn’t do it in front of me. But the difficult things is, we both have the same friends. So if he is out.. I will most probably be out too. I can’t bare the thought of seeing him with someone else. This is killing me 🙁
I’m recently out an 8 yr relationship. My ex is behaving like he doesn’t know me. No christmas message, no are you ok, he’s totally vanished. It’s like what the hell. 8 years and you can wipe me out his life just like that!
As Jessie says, they think they can move on just like that but reality hasn’t struck yet. They think we are still there.
NC will begin to make them miss us, you need to give it a lot of time, your mind will think of anything to give reason to make contact.After 3 years he will not be able to forget you. Make yourself invisible, it will get him thinking what’s happened to you. You need to make him think that actually life is ok without him and in fact quite fun. Read the get your ex back guide by Kevin. It’s really thorough.
Thanks for replying belle.
It has to be one of the worst feeling in the world, missing someone so much and them acting like they don’t know you.
He’s actually told me himself that he’s happy now that he’s not with me, he hasn’t been thinking about me or missing me, he will go out and kiss someone else and he wouldn’t be bothered if I do too and he’s also said he’s moved on.. AFTER 2 WEEKS!!!
its like he is enjoying seeing me hurt. I mean why would he say all these things to me knowing that it is going to hurt me?My head is everywhere. I’m trying to keep myself busy and try to keep my mind off him but it’s not working. I’m so scared that he is seeing someone else or likes someone else because I might have an idea who it might be 🙁
Hey,
Was there anything that you did that couldve caused resentment on his part?
He hasn’t explained anything at all?
My ex was super cruel to me around the time of the breakup. Told me she was happy and told me to embrace being single. She also jumped right into bed with someone else thinking she found “the one”. Months later, she had a sit down talk with me. There was a lot of resentment and what not that built up and she was angry at me for a variety of reasons.
After time not speaking to her, she became loving again but has chosen to pursue others and decided shes happy without the relationship (as am I) and it will have to be a full year before she considers dating me.
Your best move is to go NC. Dont chase him. Dont attempt to get into contact.
No he didn’t really explain anything. All he said was that he wasn’t happy and he didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore. He wanted to be on his owe. And I asked him if it was something to do with me or have I done something wrong and he said no, it’s nothing to do with me, it’s him.
It’s so hard, I’m trying my best to move on and act like I don’t care for him any more, but I do and I can’t hide the fact that I will do anything to get him back. This is one of the hardest things I’ve had to go through so far. I just hope that he doesn’t want to be with someone else because that will break my heart
I agree, it’s the hardest thing ever losing the one you love.
However upset you are which I expect is a lot! Just don’t contact him, it’s obvious he just doesn’t know what he wants right now. The best thing for you right now and to get a reconciliation is to not contact him.
Buy lots of tissues, cry, howl, sob….just don’t contact him.Today I feel a bit down, because it’s been 2 weeks since I last spoke to my ex and begged. He’s not once made contact. I keep thinking of little silly reasons to convince myself to contact him. From somewhere I get the inner strength not to. If I do he will only tell me what I know already and I will get massively upset and will be like a step backwards for me. I’m sure he thinks of me, he was the one that was always more into the relationship than me!
So, really, that is what stops me from contacting him. I don’t want to sacrifice myself to him and get all upset and walk around the rest of the day with red swollen eyes! LolDon’t think about another person in his life, it takes months to move on. It’s just not feasible, if he does he will be rebounding and that is shallow and latching onto another person because he’s so used to you being there that he needs to fill the void. It will be meaningless relationship and quite frankly, those relationships don’t count.
Something similar happened to me (I was the guy leaving out of “nothing”). But actually we always had too many fights because were kind of incompatible. That wore the relationship off, but she didn’t notice. One day I just left her, unexpectedly. But it was because we pushed too far.
BUT you say your relationship was all good. So maybe he was IN love with you and not loving you. Once the “in love” stage was over, there was no love left.
Researches show the “in love” state won’t last longer than 3 years. Once the state of grace is over, you need love (built based upon trust, respect and care) to hold it together.
If not, you give him NC and he will realize his mistake and come after you.
We lived together for 2 years of out 3 year relationship and we seen each other everyday and I think that is what is making harder.. seeing and talking to him everyday to him not wanting to know me.
However, as we share the same friends. One of my friends are having a party tomorrow and he will be there. I don’t know whether to talk to him or ignore him? What do you think?
Be civil, polite but don’t get involved in conversation too much. Have fun with your friends but don’t go over the top.
Also, make sure you leave before he does. Just slip off, don’t say goodbye unless you’re in a situation where it would be rude otherwise.
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