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her ex has come back on the scene

by steveb

Boards › Reconciliation › her ex has come back on the scene

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Viewing 12 posts - 1 through 12 (of 12 total)
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  • January 8, 2015 at 9:35 am #23317
    steveb
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    • Total Posts: 6

    Hi Kevin,

    My girlfriend of 5 months, who I have fallen in love with, recently sent me a text saying she needs some time alone to work out if she still loves me. I’m following your advice, and on day 5 of Nc.

    However, she seemed to change when an ex boyfriend came back on the scene. Maybe I was the rebound relationship!

    My worry is that by giving her time she will re-establish the relationship with her ex (maybe he’s using your advice)

    What do you recommend in my situation?

    Thanks

    January 8, 2015 at 9:40 am #23321
    LAbound
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 562

    Ex back in the picture. Only 5 months of a relationship. She is working out if she still loves you and wants to be alone to do so.

    Is it an official break up? What can you tell us of her past relationship with her ex? How long was it? Was it unhealthy from what she’s shared with you?

    January 8, 2015 at 9:44 am #23324
    LAbound
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 562

    You could have been the rebound. That, or her ex has shown a new side of himself that is appealing and confusing her.

    If her ex is back in the picture, Im thinking NC is not the way to go just yet. Don’t hit her up a lot, but reach out. Dont put pressure on her to get back with you. Inv her out for a day date…like a coffee and lunch type of thing. Be friendly and not emotional.

    I kniw she said she wants to be alone to figure things out but if you can at least talk to her, thats a start.

    January 8, 2015 at 10:52 am #23335
    steveb
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 6

    Not sure how long they were together, until he phoned one day (and she ignored the call telling me he was an ex she didn’t want to talk to) I didn’t even know about him.

    January 8, 2015 at 11:03 am #23339
    steveb
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 6

    Again, not sure if it’s an official break up. Two weeks ago she was telling me that she loved me, then wham…. she needs time alone to think. Could be that she has dumped me but doesn’t want to hurt me, or she wants to keep me as an option or she does want time to think. Who knows?

    How would you suggest I contact her, call, text? I was thinking a text, something light like suggested in the 5 steps.

    January 8, 2015 at 11:16 am #23341
    Malinda
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    • Total Posts: 250

    I think you should not call her or text or anything, just give her the time she needs…my opinion

    January 8, 2015 at 11:17 am #23342
    Malinda
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    • Total Posts: 250

    How did you react by the way after she said she needs time to think whether she loves you

    January 8, 2015 at 11:46 am #23348
    steveb
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 6

    I sent her a text saying I loved her, wanted her but didn’t need her, that I would give her time, thanked her for a great 5 months, hope she would decide she wants to continue the relationship but that I feared the worst

    January 8, 2015 at 2:55 pm #23395
    LAbound
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 562

    Did she respond to that text?

    January 8, 2015 at 3:10 pm #23401
    steveb
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 6

    No reply from her. The worst thing for me is I don’t know where i stand! Does she really need time to think or has she dumped me. Here’s a text she sent a few months ago
    Thank you for a lovely time in Copenhagen :)) I love you to bits .. Up to the celing down to the floor round the world and much much more!!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️xxxxxxx

    Wtf happened?

    January 8, 2015 at 3:55 pm #23415
    LAbound
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 562

    If her ex is in the pic, that could be what’s changed. Just leave her be. Work on moving on in the sense her absence doesnt negatively affect you. It was a short relationship and something has changed. Let her come to you.

    January 8, 2015 at 4:02 pm #23417
    steveb
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 6

    Thanks, I know that makes sense but its just so hard. I’ve always strictly been a one woman man: I don’t want to start dating again yet in case she wants to come back. I’ll give it 30 days then look to move on

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