HELP ME!!

I dont believe he knows anything right now just like you don’t. You are smart and all you need is to just focus your thoughts differently and forgive yourself too not just others. We all mess up. I am glad you said he wants to be strong and I think that is just the problem. He wants to protect you by being strong and keeping his worries to himself and you want him to share and when he does not jump into a wrong conclusion.it is good you said to him that you want him to share but you cannot force it and it is slow process for him to learn to trust you as well. I mean he is not used to it so it is not so easy and you want him to comfort you and hold you when things are rough and that is what you need to communicate to each other but after a while once you see how things are when the nc is over. If you try to push it now he is not ready to hear things like that and neither are you ready to act on that way. Nothing is hopeless yet so hold on to some hope and to fact that he loved your awesome sides which you have many and no one is perfect and can be perfect but you can work on the things that are an issue like self doubt, confidence and listening to other person and communicating with them instead of building worst case scenarios in your head. Because those are sometimes bit like proclaim and leas you to do the things that will lead to the worst case scenario. So instead thinking all the worst things try little little thinking of some positive options as well.

I forgot to congratulate you on sticking on your meal plan because taking care of yourself is the most important thing at the moment. You want to show him that despite what has happened you are strong woman and dealing with your problems like he suggested you should so good on you for that. Keep doing it.

Hey Brokenhearted-sry I have been busy with work to help ya out. First of all-NO do not contact him no matter how much you miss him. If its because you are used to texting him, use an app like ColorNote-it lets you write text messages and you can save them. This will help you break the routine of wanting to text him. It doesn’t matter how much you miss him. This guy needs to know what life is like without you. He sounded so nonchalent and distant in the e-mail. Give him a taste of his own medicine. You are doing great doing NC so far. Be proud of yourself and find a way to celebrate whenever you complete a week in some way that makes you happy. And then celebrate the next week and so on.

You can want him back all you want but it doesn’t change what you are meant to do in your life at this point in time. The universe wants you to focus on YOU not HIM. You need to take control of your anxiety-writing in a journal was great advice. Find a way to harness your chaotic energy!! Find an outlet-any hobby that you like.

Here’s what’s happening to you while you are going through this–Love is said to be as addictive as cocaine-The reason is that the chemicals that are released in the brain are similar to the ones in powerful drugs like cocaine. Each time you interacted with your ex in the past when things were good was like giving your brain a “fix” (a dose of that drug). Now that he simply disappeared, your brain is still very much in love and is still craving that “fix”. Therefore, your state of mind at the moment is comparable to someone withdrawing from their favorite drug. If they did a scan of your brain, your brain would be very similar to a drug addict because you are withdrawing from your ex just like an addict withdraws from their drug of choice. Soooo that’s why these feelings-urges to contact him are going to continue to get stronger and will continue to do so. But you have to fight through them one moment at a time. When they get out of control, find a way to distract your brain. Your mind thinks that making contact with him is going to give you your “fix” back. But in all honesty, he’s just going to ignore you and you are going to feel a million more times worse because you were denied of your “fix” don’t do that to yourself Brokenhearted. Be strong!