HELP ME!!

I have to agree with Dragongirl you have been unraveling a lot since you got back to contact and that is not a good sign. I think this time you should think why you started to unravel when this contact started and also why is it that talk about him talking to other girls even just talking to his colleagues because you deem she was flirty with him , the thoughts of the mother of his son bothers you so much it is trust issue between you too no matter how you say that you trust him in between lines it becomes clear you dont and the fact that your impulse control has gone from bad to non existent wow. I cant say much more to you because you were doing so well to be honest and now it is this stubborn I will not hear what you say, I will not see what his behavior is showing to me instead I have decided he loved me before he will be like that again so fine. This is going to be a mighty mess and I really hope you will look after yourself and make sure what ever happens you will be okay. But lying to yourself about all possibilities and the realities that he is not in anyway at the moment behaving like a person who wants you back is not going to make this easier for you because even if you did there is no way with the communication and relationship skills you have at the moment that this will work. But I personally don’t want to continue upsetting you nor making you feel bad, I have said these things to you now dozens of times and you have free will to continue in your way. I just hope you take care of yourself and make sure you are okay. I am not going to take a break posting now as I am going on holiday but I wish you all the best, because I think you can be amazing, independent and not obsessive person if you want to and work on it.

Here’s the way I see it. This guy hasn’t had sex with you. He’s been waiting to do it for a long time. One of the first things he requested when you ended NC the first time was pics-and it came with an ultimatum. He makes comments about your body and talks about getting off with pics of you. Don’t you see? This guy is interested in one thing only. He doesn’t give a damn about how you feel and how his actions affect the way you feel. This is NOT a good guy for you. What he is doing is breaking you emotionally bit by bit. You seem to have a fairytale version of your relatioship but me and Finntoga see it differently. We see things the way they are and we are telling you the truth. These Snapchat convos are getting you NOWHERE. These messages aren’t leading you to the relationship that you deserve. They are just taking you to the breaking point because you ex is so non-chalant and doesn’t really care if you get back together or not. Like I said, he seems to be interested in the physical aspects of you but not the best parts like the emotional/spiritual side of you. Fuck that! He’s telling you what he wants by his actions. He’s keep you at a distance and you are breaking under the pressure. You can do so much better than this Brokenhearted.

“He also is more affected by me than anyone else and he depends on me for his emotional state too etc”

Brokenhearted I hate to say this, but the reality is that this sentence about your ex is not true. I know all about co-dependency because I write a lot about it. This guy is not co-dependent even though you continue to tell yourself and paint your story to your therapist to reflect that. But if you could look at it with my experience, you would see that he’s definitely not co-dependent. He’s going through the stages of emotional detachment. And he’s not showing signs that he loves you at all. He’s actually showing signs that he’s not really interested in working on any of this mess.
Addressing that he’s flirting with other pple: you have no idea whether he is or isn’t because you aren’t him. You are just desperate to control the outcome of this mess therefore you are trying to tell yourself that he wouldn’t flirt. But he’s a guy-and guys definitely flirt to boost their ego, find a girl and to move on.

I think you want him to be co-dependent so you tell yourself certain things that it’s true. But trust me, it’s better to face reality. You are strong enough to do it. I don’t see you having control over him at all. Again, it’s just something that you want to be true. And yet again, you don’t effect him more than anyone. It’s just the way your mind twists things-stop doing that. It’s better for your sake to see things objectively.