Boards Reconciliation He dissapeared ! No Respond! No text ! No answer . Please help :(

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  • #17988
    Tara
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 3

    My boyfriend of 6 months and i started dating through online social newtwork prior to our initial visit and meeting . 9 yesrs ago we used to talk on the phone for a one month and because of distance And going to school and all different life situation we just left it at that ! Now after that long he found me on fbook and we started casually talking about ideas of life and everything for about 2 months . He decided to come and meet me here one day and we started dating .he was so strong in the begining , beinging all points that facinated me that were similar to what i wanted in life . It was so good to be true . He seemed like he completely understands me by every word , before that i was single recovering from a harsh unique type of a relationship, and considered to build myself strong and not really had intentions to be with anyone , this guy however put so much on plate and represented himself strong and reliable. He came from his country ( an hour away) and spend 2 months on and off because of his job . Sometimes spending complete 2 months here . When here we were together 24/7 . So as you can see we spend so much time together in this short period of time ( felt like years for both of us) we were heading toward serious stuff like marriage and meeting up families . We took couple trips and we had lts of fun he was super intimate with me and geniunely loved me! Met my parents and i met his mom and dad. He said in the begining he would mlve here and help at my office and we toghether can grow thw business side by side and he can being his job to mininum in order fo him to move here for good ! I beleived everyrhing he said ! I trusted him to the core of my heart! I devoted my time and life here to him as well. There were times when he would be sitting at my office working and i was busy and times that i had him leave the room because he was too loud , he was very nice to me and i mean too nice to believe, booking spa treats , several intwon trips and expensive foods and hotels .. Then i was going through rough timing wiht the office myself at that timing and he offered that he would help! He helped me too. Suddenly we got into an argument that i dont treat him right ! One night i woke him up because he was snoring and he wasdevestated not being to sleep all night, once i told him he drives way to slow with a higher voice tone and he got offended . Things like this threw him off ! He was supposed to go to LA for work , and on that night he said he wasnt happy for the first time and that treatedhim like shit ! I was overwhelmed with everything as far as the office and work and i felt bad and hugged him and pologized right after and promised it will never happened again. He left in the morning , came back from LA here to my hometown again by himself ( since he would alwAys arrange everything on his own) . He was colder , but thought he feels im different too. Never mistreated him ever again and was super nice to him so that he knows i changed and am not who judged i was ! We go to this place out of town and he again BY HIMSELF books a nice room and found this place on yelp! We enjoyed our stay until the last min . When we were at dinner some small foolish and childish argument came up over fb and pple on my fbook and why were they making comments and such. I smiled and said thats not important . He yelled and said you havnt posted any of pic up recently ! All of the sudden he threw his phone to the wall and it broke off to pieces !! That was it ! He broke the whole this off . Pulling everything in the pasr up saying that i treated him wrong when last time he was here and did not forget eerythin eventhou i was good this time around ! He then packed and immediately the day after went back to canada! Neverthless he had to get a deposit from his mom account cause he has no credit card here and his cash was done ! I thought he was short in money and wanted ro help pay the hotel that night we had the fight but he didnt let me ! He left and we sooke 2 times after. . He said he made up his mind and cant be with me anymore . I texted him 20 times and called him 5-10 times but no response . He would respond by one word but nothing else. I told him we are both mature and because of lack of communication i had bo idea he was u under so much pressure ! But he did not listen at all and siad he was on his decision and definitely made his mind . I went on NC for 11 days . Texted him something nice about one of our memoriez ( we had shared alot in this short time ( like we knew eachother for years , he knew too) and there was no response . I texted him about my recent blood test result that was scaring me and that he was the closest person to me to talk to him about .. No response ! I calle and left a vmail again no response .. 11 days ago he also left with no response ! I dont understand how someone can be so deeply inlove and all of the sudden withdraw this much. I just need a closure ! He wont give it to me .. Afte all no responses he has gained power and dont believe he loved me or even cared about me! My health is not even important to this guy. I calle him from a different number he picked up tonight and was at a party ( sounded like) . How can someone become so careless ??? I wasnt needy on my texts begging him to stay!!! All i asked was for 10 min of talk . You think there is any hope he changes his mind at all or i should just move on ????

    #17990
    Tara
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 3

    All the things he didfor me by the way . Nice resturants , nice places . Were all purely based on his own decision ! I did nkt wanted him to spend a penny on me ! Last time he spoke to me he did mention , forgot to say that he did all these things for me and i didnr deserve it !! How did i not deserve it? He said i never offered anything foe us to be able to live in the same city? Didnt he know initially where i live ? What happened that he is not even responding to talk for 10 min? My question is do you guys really think few arguments and all he had held up ( which some i had no idea about which at the end bortled up and threw at me ) would cause not even a regular talk!? I swear ive seen much worse relationships . Not mine but many others . There was. No cheating , no anything that he would just dissapear ! I dont understand why he is just not responding? 11 days no contact at all and all i wanted and asked was 10 min to talk about my test reults to get comfort when all hope is gone from other aspects of my life . 🙁

    #17991
    Tara
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 3

    bmob7795
    Any comments?

    #17997
    Martin
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 303

    Ok everyone here is heartbroken as well. You need to have faith and keep calm because the more you try to push him, the more he will go away. You need him to respect you and care for you. If he does not respect he would not want to be committed to you.

    Most of us are in a similar situation hoping that our ex would miss us.

    #18054
    LAbound
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 562

    I think he had resentment that built up over your misunderstandings. Then, he brought to your attention something that bothers him and you said it wasnt important.

    He is hurt and feels disrespected by you. Give him space. Jist give a sweet goodbye letter. NOT a needy show of emotion. Say that you feel that it was a misinderstanding. That you realize where you messed up and that you understand his need for space.

    Then start NC.

    #18055
    LAbound
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 562

    And the not important comment was directed at other ppls comments on fb, I understand. It was important to him if he brought it up.

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