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Hey all,
I am almost done with NC, I’m on day 27. I need some advice/suggestions on what to text my ex to initiate contact. For those that have completed NC and initiated contact and got a response, what worked for you? suggestions?
Thanks!
I sent something like “hey, do you remember the name of that place we went camping at the beginning of the summer? A friend of mine is looking for a good camping spot”. I think something like that is good because 1. brings up good memories 2. Asks a specific question, not just “hey how are you?” and 3. maybe triggers a little jealousy, letting him/her know you are with a “friend” who could be more than that. For me he couldn’t remember the name of the spot but quickly came back with “how are you doing?”
If he replies to that initial question, do not give any insight about how you are feeling. Be pleasant and kind, but avoid relationship topics. He needs to think you’re over him and in a good place. It will make you more desirable, as we tend to want the things we can’t have. If it takes time for him to reply, make sure it takes you even more time to reply back. Always be less emotional than him in and preferably use less words than he does. Good luck!
I’d recommend doing something they can’t help but respond to. When I used it on my ex, I said “So I have a confession to make…” and it drove him NUTS lol. I didn’t respond for an hour (kind of mean but them dumping us is mean!). Then I was like, “Oh I was cleaning and found the tickets from when we went to see that comedian!” And quoted a line from the show. It sparked a positive conversation, and then I ended it. I saved a “jealousy” and “good memories” text for the second or third time I texted him.
great advice 😀 would agree with everything she said
I’m going to contact him tomorrow or the next day. brainstorming some text ideas and I need some thoughts/opinions.
What do you all think of this text?
Hey, I was cleaning and stumbled on my beach towel that says, “The beach is my happy place” it made me think of you and how you always say that.
Background info: My ex LOVES the beach and the ocean. He lives a few blocks from the beach. He would always talk about how the beach was his happy place. When I told him once I had this towel he freaked out. We went to the beach once and used this towel and he jokingly told me he was going to steal it.
I really want to send him a text about football because that’s his leverage point but he’s favorite team has a losing record and one of his fantasy players is injured. I don’t know what to text about football..that’s positive..
I like the “I have a confession to make” text but I think I’ll save that as a last resort. That one could really freak my ex out. Do more harm than good.
thoughts?
Not going to lie, I’m nervous for you haha
Your text sounds good though, by what you have said about him. That is a really positive memory. I think an exclamation point after the quote for what the towel says would be good. Just because it kind of shows some energy and gives off the vibe that you are happy and you genuinely was surprised you found it. Reading the text without it just kind of gave me that “you making an excuse to talk to me” vibe like you have another motive. But putting the excitement in it kind of takes the pressure off little of him feeling like you are going to lead this convo in another direction.
Thats what i think though 🙂
Why are you nervous for me? Haha
I woke up this morning and I kind of feel like that text is not good enough and maybe too cheesy. I’m so stumped. I feel like I have myself convinced that he is not going to reply, that nothing I text will matter. I know that’s a terrible way for me to think but it’s just my gut feeling.
Oh just because I know you have been waiting for this haha, I know my ex would reply to just about anything I send, but people are different so its hard navigating “the perfect reach out”.
But if you feel like he won’t reply, don’t rush it. Take your time and think about it. Maybe we can brainstorm more options haha I know all the advice usually says reach out and say something relating to an old memory, but i feel like thats pretty tough to do. I think that should be saved for the second text, and the first should be more “friendly” and neutral, unless you know what is going on their side of life. Like if they are with someone, are they going through rough times, are they happy ect.
Maybe there is something you can talk about thats more of an update? If y’all have anything in common still. Oh i just thought about this, in reference to the towel you can make a joke out of it.
Hey! I was cleaning and stumbled on my beach towel that says, “The beach is my happy place” it made me think of you and how you always say that. Haven’t been able to find it, wouldn’t be surprised if you snook in and took it lol
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