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So we technically broke up about 3 1/2 weeks ago. Strangest break up yet, I expressed a concern and she got defensive. Two weeks go by and she brings it up again and says I was just attacking her personality and that she wants to feel like I’m not going to leave her every 5 min.
Few days later I mentioned something else she did that I didn’t approve of, then she just ended things via text. Week and 1/2 go by and I contact her about getting my stuff. I go by on a Friday night and we talked about the break up in person where I preceded to explain that I may have been a little out of line, that I wasn’t 100% convinced that a relationship like we had could be so good and subconsciously I was looking for flaws, but good thing we broke up because it helped me realize I was doing that.
She was stubborn and said she’s glad I figured that out but she’s sticking to her decision. So I said ok that’s fine I’m not going to convince you to be with me. I then changed the mood and got her into a better one, where I even was flirting and she wasn’t rejecting it. I even kissed her when I left and she just smiled.
The plan was now for me to go up next weekend to get my stuff, we planned for saturday at 1pm. That friday night she sends me a pic of herself out at a restaurant, and we engage in small talk/flirting. She then tells me she’ll be home tomorrow for 11, confused what that means since we had plans for 1, I make a joke that I’ll go up early if she makes me lunch. She calls me a jerk but I could tell it was in a teasing way.
So saturday comes and I get there for 12:15 I go in thinking there’s a chance things will be positive and to my surprise she was so hasty and basically said “so what do you have here?” I’m meeting friends in 30 min. She even phones a friend to tell them I’m there and I’m just grabbing my stuff quick, so I take the hint and do just that. In the process I playfully would poke her and then she finally said “stop touching me” so I say Really? and she says yeah, so I casually say ok. I grab my stuff, and during she was super chatty and talking fast like she was nervous. I was polite, we hugged and I said “good luck with everything” she says “if we don’t talk, merry xmas” and I replied “and a happy new year” and went on my way.
What’s with the mixed signals? Do I go NC or is she trying to get me to pursue?
Do NC… she’ll get better perspective on what she wants when you disappear and she’ll get confused why you’re not chasing her? if you pursue immediately she’s just going to push you away because she thinks she can and still keep you around. Follow Kevin’s plan. Just my opinion. Good luck.
I agree with @rihanna 🙂
You’re getting mixed signals most likely because she’s confused. Don’t worry she won’t forget you or move on if you go NC for a while. Most likely she will just obsess more over you that way
Cool. Just to add a bit, a friend saw her on match.com. Does that make her decision final?
To me it seems like she wants you to chase after her and that her friends have been telling her things, which makes her confuse. That’s my guess.
Try chasing after for a short period (like 3 days or so), if it doesn’t work, then NC.
But hey, who am I to say something if I can’t even figure out what to do about my ex? lol
Good luck!So I caved and texted her Saturday. She was pretty ruthless and kept sending paragraphs of texts (which I took as a good sign)
The truth came out, she said I didn’t show enough that I cared about her and told me that if she thinks she’s consider taking me back without first owning up to my mistakes that I was surely mistaken.
So I owned up to them and explained why I was that way in the relationship. Then things settled down a bit and she said “I’d have to think on seeing you again” she was an emotional wreck due to family issues and the holiday.
I told her I’m going to go by and give her a hug and she asked that I didn’t because she’s emotional and would probably let me back in and she doesn’t know if that’s what she wants right now.
She also mentioned that she’s already seeing other people and I told her so what I am too, doesn’t mean you wouldn’t rather be doing things with me.
The conversation ended on a good note but I think I messed up, yesterday I sent her this text:
“Hey I don’t know what your plans are for New Years but, there’s an event a town over from me with entertainment, food, dancing. Possibly going with my sister and few of her friends. You’re welcome to come if you’d like, it’s on me”
And she never replied. Did I blow it?
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