Day 1 of NC

Here goes, pretty daunted by all this but willing to give it a shot & post regular updates.

We’ve been madly in love for 6 years but the last year has been a strain, I almost lost my job & sunk into depression & suffered with anxiety. I’ve never been jealous at all but I became insecure, made accusations that upset her. We argued a lot. Before Christmas things were really looking up, I was feeling better & the arguments were less frequent, we had some very nice days together.
Then last Monday I lost my head, we argued and that was it. We met on Sunday & said goodbye. She says she’ll always love me but there are too many emotional scars for us to be together & commit to a more serious relationship, too many reminders of bad times than good. Maybe some time in the future she said, we were meant to be together. We both know we’ll never feel this again.
Since then, I told her best friend to look after her which didn’t go down well at all. Then lots of needy texts from me yesterday which she was replying to, a text this morning followed a sentimental email which have both been ignored. I’m blocked on all social media, but have since deleted my accounts anyway.

So here I am. Day 1 begins tomorrow. Going through all the usual fear, mainly what if she meets someone. I don’t think I’d cope with that but then at least I’ll know for certain. My friends have said forget her but it’s not that easy! We’ve just had a tough time, hoping this helps her to remember the good & start missing me again…