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My Ex girlfriend and I were together for a year and a half everything was fine we had our little disagreements but always worked everything out, she is a firefighter and we are both EMT’s and I’m a dispatcher, the day before we broke up she had a traumatic call and she had kinda been showing signs of depression and had anxiety and would get angry for a few months prior to the break up we did have some issues as I struggle with money management and have 2 disabled parents that at times take advantage of me and I don’t stand up for myself.. we had discussed moving in together a couple months prior to the break up although I had only been part time at both jobs until July we were planning for October, I didn’t have a lot saved up but she does. In August we went to my family reunion and she sat down with my dad and told him she had quit smoking so we could start our family as we had both discussed it although hadn’t officially said when we were going to she ended things 2 weeks after the reunion unexpectedly. The next morning she texted me and said she doesn’t want us to be broken up that she thought I would help the issue we went no contact to give her the space she needed about a month later we talked and she said she was angry with me but wouldn’t say why just multiple reasons and that she needs to take care of herself now mind you I help cook clean do her laundry work 2 jobs as does she. We had started talking regularly again and it was very hot and cold so I just let her be I have texted her like happy birthday and merry Christmas thanks giving she texted me asking if I was seeing anyone I said no and then she was asking who the 2 girls commenting on my stuff were and I told her as I just want to be honest with her and then she wanted me to come to her parents for thanks giving and then she was like no I don’t know what I want but her sister messaged me and asked me to come so I made the4 hour drive up and visited her family after that she texted me thanking me and saying she didn’t want any false hope and didn’t know when or if it will come back… December she messaged me about a girl she thinks I’m dating and I told her that I’m not she just a friend and we have argued about that and I just let her be New Year’s Eve I made a post about work and she saw some of my coworkers and people from a neighboring police department commenting so she asked me what I was up too and if I was going to a competitor ambulance service as we work together I told her no and explained what was going on and left it at that I have not really reached out to her except on special occasions as I’m trying to be respectful of her space but she has reached out to me with dumb comments like I see your girlfriend joined the fire department and as I explain to her again that I’m not seeing anyone she just says haha yeah ok… and I am just leaving it at that… she has sent me a few snap chats that have no relevance to me.. I know those seem controlling but we haven’t had issues like this until the break up… the guy she was with before me cheated on her numerous times so I understand her insecurities but I never cheated on her… so there is no real reason for it I know she hasn’t been happy for a few months with where life’s at but she refuses to get help with her issues although she admitted she needs it I stopped to pick up something from her yesterday and she wouldn’t make eye contact with me and was quick about it… I feel like she still loves me but can’t because the underlying issues going on with her and she’s lost and confused and is taking it out on me and everyone around her.
I think she can get counseling through paramedic/police departments. Do the best you can for your parents, but don’t let them take advantage of you.
Maybe you should go no contact and let her know it’s because you’re trying to recover from the breakup. Be cordial at work when of if you see her.
I have been no contact with her, she has been the one reaching out and making comments the seem jealous because it’s always about me with another girl. I have tried to be respectful obviously and allow her the space that she needs and also try and focus on growth for me as well I have showed the messages to multiple people for opinions and I’ve gotten a good amount of she still loves me but she’s just not sure where she’s at at the moment… idk just honestly confusing because she’s not the play games type she’s very independent and strong willed so her reaching out to me and asking about what I’m doing or making comments of other girls kinda makes me suspect that she’s really regretting letting me go and is just not sure where she’s at right now
Stop showing her messages to other people! It could come back to bite you if she finds out.
Have you ever given her reason to be jealous? She is either a childish person or trying to retaliate.
Let her know you don’t want contact, especially since she’s so negative and not making any effort to work through the issues with you.
Yeah I do agree with the no contact and showing messages I mean we really don’t have any mutual friends but it was more me trying to understand because I’m honestly not good at understanding stuff, I have not reached out to her except to tie up loose ends as I’m trying to grow up and make changes that I need such as seeing a therapist for anxiety issues and learning to be set boundaries with certainty people and taking some money management courses when she told me why we broke up she just said she needed to take care of herself right now and that she was angry with me for multiple reasons but never said why I understand she needed me to mature more so I’m working on that but I guess I’m confused as to why she’s the one reaching out being kinda jealous and childish but can’t be civil if we see each other in person she can’t make eye contact or anything I mean don’t get me wrong I’m not perfect by any means but what woman gives up a guy that cooks cleans helps do her laundry and works 2 jobs…. idk if we broke up just because she needs time to figure herself out and what she wants in life or what… I know she’s not seeing anyone but she works 2 jobs as well and just sits at home doesn’t go out or anything…
I’m glad you’re seeing a therapist for anxiety issues. And the money management class might help you too. Let me repeat:Let her know you don’t want contact, especially since she’s so negative and not making any effort to work through the issues with you.
Within the year and a half, hopefully there weren’t too many arguments! Sometimes when you think everything is worked out, the other person is holding resentments and grudges. In a truly good relationship, there are only a very few disagreements and they are far and few between. When it happens, the two talk about it and come to an agreement or compromise and neither hold a grudge. Neither one continues the same behaviors that upset the other.
Give her time to work through her own issues while you work on yours. Perhaps in a few months you can reconnect in a good way..
Good luck:)
My ex girlfriend called me at 4 am yesterday and I accidentally declined the call I called her right back but she missed it, she called me back again and was like sorry I didn’t mean to call you… I’m like we haven’t talked in just shy of 30 days and she’s been seeing someone casually who lives the next state over like it’s hard to accidentally call me sober at 4 am on Tuesday… any advice or was this more of a she needed to hear my voice or was thinking of me
She’s the only one who knows why she called and then called again. You’ve told her more than once that you’re not seeing other girls, but she obviously doesn’t believe you as she keeps jabbing you with jealous type comments that seem so childish. She’s been seeing someone else because apparently her interest in you is low.
Focus on yourself and the improvements you want to make. Hopefully after you heal, you can find a more mature person to date.
She hasn’t been mking jealous comments since I took away all reason for her to contact me at the end of January, she has called me a total of 5 times this week and tried FaceTime but won’t say anything except oh sorry didn’t mean to call you… in my opinion she has no reason too as she supposedly has a new boyfriend and I’ve been seeing other people but so far nothing has worked out… i just don’t understand why she’s being so immature about things that she ended like she walked away I would assume if she’s truly over me and moving on with her life she wouldn’t be the one to keep contacting me.
Just ignore her. Dating others is good, but it might take a while to find someone compatible. Don’t give up..
My ex has had a new boyfriend for 3 months or so now, however she keeps calling me and hanging up prior to me answering and saying it’s an accident. We have also deleted each other from social media however she liked one of my recent instagram posts and then deleted it. I’m confused as to why she’s being so immature but keeps contacting me or finding ways to remind me of her but when she calls she’s like oh I didn’t mean to call you. We have not gone a full 30 days with out her contacting me since we broke up. Anyone have any ideas? Other than her just being immature and not dealing with her issues
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