Broke up because of cultural differences

I really appreciate your honest response!

There’s a lot I left out of my original post but I’ll try to be brief: During the breakup, my aunt was very sick. He came to the hospital to speak with her (he’s a doctor) and after that I stayed over and we slept together. On the night my aunt died, he was there, with me and my family. The night after, he slept over my place, but we just cuddled, didn’t do anything.

Throughout this, he kept saying he wished things were different but his parents won’t change. The only reason I had a glimmer of hope is because from his actions (and knowing him) it feels as if he’s going completely against how he really feels and his own personal beliefs.

But I am staying strong, one day at a time!

I am definitely going to stay no contact and thank you for your condolences. It’s been a very difficult time.

However, for context, he doesn’t hold the same views as his parents. He’s atheist, for one, and would always disagree with Indian friends of his who were miserable and single because they were following their parents’ view of dating and marriage. He even made me what the Netflix documentary “Meet the Patels” about an Indian-American guy who dumps his white girlfriend to do the all arranged marriage thing, but then realizes what he did and gets back with his ex.

He would always comment how he doesn’t want to be one of those people who doesn’t have happiness because of his parents’ old school views. Then … he does this.

I could be reading too much into these things, but this is what I mean when I say what he’s doing doesn’t align with his words, and more importantly, his actions.

I am holding out hope that he will change his mind … but I’m trying very hard to also just focus on myself, grieving my aunt and doing better. I went to see a therapist and she says I need to push him out of my mind, at least for now. Which is easier said than done.

I am hopeful, but at the same time I keep rereading old messages and playing back conversations where he was very adamant that nothing would change and he thought breaking up was best for our futures … so it’s hard. I don’t know.

Hey Patricia,

Thanks for checking in on me! Yes, it’s been two weeks, and I haven’t heard from him at all :(. I don’t think I’m feeling any better, to be honest. Every day that passes that we don’t speak makes it more and more real that it’s over, if that makes sense at all.

I’m starting to think having any sort of hope is damaging, but I’m still putting positive vibes out there, and showing through social media that I’m still living.

I really love him, and hope in time he realizes. I’m just not sure he will :'(.

Thank you, Patricia. I hope so, too. I’ve been through breakups before, but this is the hardest of all. In my heart, I know this isn’t something he wants, I’m not kidding myself with that. I’m just scared him seeing his parents will be enough for him to be really OK with his decision. I don’t even know what to do.