-
Posts
-
Anyone that has followed my other post knows that things ended badly. Well he was in the middle of a custody case and apparently it wrapped up today because I got a text. It went like this:
“My legal situation is finally over , 4 long years in the making, feels like an enormous weight has been lifted off my chest , I can finally breathe !”
“Congrats! Legal situations are less than enjoyable! I do apologize, I don’t know whose number this is! ”
“Sry it’s rob ?”
Now I can’t decide how to respond. I had written him off.
The first sentence is easy to understand, but the second sentence is confusing. The sign off is a little strange too..
I’d say just be honest. If you want to get him back, that’s good because he is contacting you now. He seems to be feeling good about his legal situation being over and probably wants to get you attention. If anything, be like a sponge and soak up whatever he has to say. Then you can kind of gauge how soft or how strong to respond to him. Easier said than done obviously. Good luck:)
I’m glad he is happy, I don’t know why he is compelled to tell me after treating me so badly and then a month of silence. (Thankful for the month, btw … It’s been good for me)
I can’t help but question his motives. But I will probably respond something. I don’t think I am in a place to rekindle this thing but I feel I ought to at least be kind. Because that’s who I am.
Well his motives will be revealed only if you let them. I’m sure if he went to the lengths he did to contact you after 31 days, he was probably hesitant at some point. All that legal stuff will make one take it out on others. I’m not saying that’s what happened, but it’s possible. Maybe he feel bad about how he treated you and is tryin to open up a little. It’s tough for us guys to open up and own up to being wrong to the ones we love and end up hurting. It does come around with time, age an experience.
I’d really like to believe that rather than what I’ve been thinking as if late. Because two of the things I love about myself is that I think positive and see good in everyone. I did respond that I was glad to hear it and that hopefully things will be better for everyone now. He know wants to know how I am.
Sorry for the play by play…. This is just difficult!
Side note… I had just blocked him on fb two days ago. To help me not think about everything.
So I kept it light, lots of time between answers. In response to his question about how I am, I said “super busy at work. Remember in the spring when I had lots of time to visit?” His response was that his work was slow. I said maybe it will pick up after election. He said he hoped so. Then an hour later he asked what I was doing tonight. I have plans, the first part is being a mom taxi. I was busy doing that when he apparently got tired of waiting for a response and told me where he would be and what he would be doing. I just rolled my eyes as I typed that.
Anyway, I explained that I was busy driving (nicely) and that I had plans with a friend later (which I do) and he said ok, have fun. I said “you too.” and I am leaving it at that for the time being.
Well I think he’s clearly interested in talking face to face and seeing how to mend things. Listen, us guys are insecure as much as you women so put his mind at ease and let him know which female friend you’re hanging out with. Just subtly like, “yeah me and (friends name) have planned on hanging out tonight for a while”. He might be thinking why guy you’re hanging out with that’s more important. Also, give him a little credit for contacting you and also having a pair to hint that he wanted to hang out tonight. Consider following up with him and throwing it out there when you have a free night.
Oh it’s a group of us celebrating a guys birthday. Although mom taxi is totally getting in the way of that! I appreciate your input. And I will take it into consideration!
So I am still around – I’m just chilling and waiting. pretty much all i can do with most of my life right now. After the initial contact, I went out with my friends, he had his new lady over until late – I know this unfortunately because I had to drive by his house. Normally I take a different route but there was stupid construction. Anyway, I didnt care that much that she was there, although I did still care some – I wont deny that. The next day he texted me “holy hangover!” And I kept my response short with “that will happen.” Then he sent me something about how breakfast helped, and then a little while later a dumb meme. I sent a laughy face. Then the next day I sent him a picture of something that reminded me of him and his son, and told him so. He replied that he loved it. Nothing since from either of us.
I am still working on my own issues, so I am not pushing this super hard. Especially since he is seeing someone else – I have more self worth than all that. I did run across some of his things that he probably will want, so at some point I have a reason to make contact. I just dont know if I will do that soon, or just wait to see if I hear from him again.
Every day gets easier, and I am 100% certain I can live with him, and 90% sure I am actually better off. Now if I can just kick that remaining 10%….
Hey octopus 2016,
I think you should take it easier on yourself, you still seem to be uncertain about what you really want; don’t try to convince yourself or push yourself toward a decision you might regret later.
I know you want to stop feeling the pain; it’s also difficult to see your ex with somebody new, ignore it, won’t probably last. You just need to ponder more, take your time until you have figured all out.you are right, of course. I do struggle with what to do. My brain tells me to run run run. But there are parts of me that really miss the fun times. I just dont know if it is worth it. I just really dont know.
We texted a bit tonight. He said he reall missed hanging out with me, and was trying to talk me into driving 4 hours to go to a concert tomorrow. I told him I didnt think that hanging out for the first time for 8 hours in the car sounded like a great idea. I told him I missed our good times, and that we had a great summer. he agreed and said that he still had all of the pictures on his phone.
Id like to believe that he is sincere, but it is super hard for me to trust people in general and he messed that up already once. So. Baby steps. we will see how it goes.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.