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Posts
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Yesh that’s true!! I’ve actually spent some money on some new clothes :p Oooh yeh I love nandos! Cheeky nandos (We Brits love a cheeky nandos 😉 ) I’m nervous, but I didn’t do this last time and reading through all of the pages on this, I think it’s a good thing for me. I’m pretty sure he will probably kiss/sleep with someone else whilst travelling 🙁 which I don’t want to think about-and I think this will be a good distraction. I love my ex dearly, but I think it will make me a better person in the long run and help if we did get back together!
Also I forgot to ask- who ended the text messages? Was it you or him? Always make sure it’s you to have control! 🙂
Hi girls, so earlier today I logged onto my Instagram to make my account private because I’m putting an application in for a job, so I don’t want them snooping on my social media accounts.
But anyways right when I logged in, this girl I know posted a picture and it was the very first one to pop up onto my feed. In the comments my ex asked her if she was going to this party tonight. She said no because she thought it was cancelled and he was just like “well it’s still on right now” but she just blew it off by saying “lol” or something like that.
I just wanted to bring this up because it literally has been bugging me since I saw it. It totally reminded me why I deleted my social media from my phone! And just seeing one stupid little comment hurt me. I really just don’t understand how something so little like that can make you over think things so much.
I just needed to vent, if I were to say anything to my friends they would probably just tell me “I deserve better” like they always do. And I know I deserve better but it’s hard to just walk away from someone that has impacted my life.
Sorry this is kinda lengthy I just really needed to get this off my chest lol.
Nooo @catherine8 I understand that. I went to delete our old whatsapp conversation and saw he was online at 3am, and of course I was like ” wait why was he up then? Who was he speaking to? Or with?!” I’ve now deleted him on whatsapp and blocked on Instagram. Ive hidden him onfacebook, however still noticed he has us in a relationship still, almost 2 week later 🙁 but I’m trying and realising not to read into it now. It’s hard though 🙁
Ahh that’s rough. Sorry catherine 🙁 I mean, talking to people over social media is a very impersonal method of contact, especially if it’s public. He’s probably just on there trying to fill time and being lonely, so he commented on her picture. If they were actually a thing, they would be talking in private. Get me? Hope that makes you feel a little better.
I was thinking Amy, maybe he only has his relationship visible to you? Because I’m pretty sure you can set exactly who can see what on Facebook now, because you can put people in groups. Worth thinking about that he might have it there for you to see but to the rest of the world his relationship status is blank. I still think you should remove it, because it’ll show you’re in control of your life and you’re in a good place. And I know you’re getting there 🙂
Amy let it go. Deactivate ur fb. It wont do u any good seeing him . Even reading his name would create unrest . I know. I speak from experience. Its happening to me. Ideactivated fb. One whole day. And here i am watching youtube with my brother and she pops on skype. Which she has on her phone. Meaning shes checking her fb or doing whatever. Why would she check fb if shes in office and all her friends are there?. Mayb shes got a new guy. You see what happened? Contemplation. Building on uncertainity. Just stop veiwing him. It wont do u any good. Itll hamper ur healing instead. Which is bad in any case. Heal first. Then u would b in ur right mind to do things
Yeah that’s true 🙁 okay, because of this I’ve deleted the app off my phone, and I’ve asked my mum to change my password to stop me looking/reading into this relationship status lark 🙁
Something is bugging me however-when we last broke up/met up after 3 months, he told me that the real reason he broke up with me is because he thought I was looking at his texts (which I wasn’t at all!). He didn’t mention it this time in the break up, but a couple of months ago he brought it back up and thought I had been doing it again (which I most definately had not).
I think the reason I’m so tempted to contact is that I’m worried that the reason for the break up is different to what he said 🙁 I’ve been so tempted to message him asking if we can chat before he leaves to go travel, but have been holding back….should I ask though?
How long are all of you planning on doing no contact for? My ex and I tried to get back together soon after breaking up twice. It clearly wasn’t enough time apart (although the most we had gone without talking was about 5 days).
We have been broken up finally, finally since early June but are only at two weeks without contact. I am having a hard time staying away from his social media account. I saw he added a girl he had hooked up with during one of our off periods on Instagram and it bummed me out– al though a part of me wonders if he’s immature enough to do this because he knows I’ll see it. Point is, I feel like if I’m still feeling this strongly after two weeks I’ll need more than an additional two weeks. A part of me hopes he’ll realize that he took me for granted, another part of me thinks that’s pathetic. You all seem to have a good perspective and are farther along in this process so any advice or insight into when I might start feeling better would be great.
I also apologize if this is hijacking– I suppose that’s what you get for forming such a wonderful support group 🙂
Amy,
Hold back unless he brings it up again. Then calmly ask what makes him think that because you haven’t been doing so– that seems very strange to me.
You can’t force him to be open with you if he is lying; but by remaining calm he may be more likely to be more forthcoming. In my experience, guys seem to think women overthink everything so bringing up the past may frustrate him more than anything
palmtrees22 it is very supportive! 🙂 a nice place to vent feelings 🙂
How long have you done NC for both times? I think at least a month is the prime amount to be honest-I did my first round of NC For 3 months and got my ex back, and 18 months later now that he’s had the same panic and broken up with me again, I’m going to do NC for a bit longer-probably 4/5 months 🙂
All in all, personally I think 2 weeks is way too little. He hasn’t had enough time to miss you and appreciate you, and you haven’t had time to make yourself better/think about the relationship from a better perspective from the stages of just being broken up-wait a month with ABSOLUTELY no contact and you both will be much better for it xxx
It sounds like you both agreed on the three months of no contact. Is that correct?
I agree two weeks is not enough time, I meant to say two more weeks. But I almost think given the amount of times we’ve tried to work things out maybe more is necessary. Truthfully, we never had much space. A few days of not talking and only a few weeks without seeing each other before we’d end up dating again. We can’t even help ourselves and it has caused a lot more damage because we know about one another’s attempts to rebound and even though it’s not my business it hurts me to find out these things and made it hard to work things out. We all seem to be dealing with stubborn people- my situation is no different. He seems determined to be done this time; I think that hopelessness is making it harder for me to focus on me. Ugh.
Hey palmtrees, welcome to the circle! Ha 🙂
Ah that’s terrible. It must hurt so much to have been through this twice already! Amy’s situation is probably the most similar to yours.
Sounds like you didn’t give each other nearly enough time the first time you tried NC. It was hard and you missed each other, so you got back together without really addressing the issues you both had.
The love is clearly there, but you both need a lot more time to separately analyse your relationship and where it went wrong. When you’ve both healed, and if you both decide you can make it work, then you should try. But that won’t be for at least 30 days. I think your case may need slightly more because of the complications? I’m not sure.
It’ll be hard but it’ll be worth it if you think you’re meant to be together !
Yeah, I defiantly think a lot of space is needed. Can I ask what the problem was palmtrees22? As my boyfriend had “grass is hreener on the other side, scared of commitment after 4 years, too young to be in serious relationship”- the usual!
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