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Posts
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Amy,
You are totally right. I am planning on going no contact, but do I respond to him? I was at about three weeks of no contact when we tried things out again until I wrecked it at my party (whoops). The only reason I was talking to him was to show him I had changed despite the fact that we still had some problems to go through. But you’re right, if he still doesn’t want me the best thing I can do is a dramatic and forced move on. I have a date with a guy I met at a networking event this week. He seems intelligent and extremely driven so we will see!
In regards to your ex’s family, I think that’s great. No contact will definitely be your most effective approach because they’re doing all the reminding him of how great you are–you won’t need to! Try to get some sleep (although I’ve had plenty of sleepless nights myself)
@fishingthesky indeed 🙁 seeing his family was great today but at the same time hearing that he is literally having the most amazing time travelling was super sad. I guess I just keep weighing up the pros and cons, and whether there’s any point in all this-I feel a bit hopeless really!
@palmtrees exactly! Im forcing myself to go on a date too-with a guy who I liked before I was with my ex actually! The great thing is, I told my ex I used to fancy this guy-and the guy has been liking a few of my recent pics etc, which I hope my ex will notice :p I think it’s time for us to start looking out for number one though, and showing them what they are missing!
Amy, at least you are close with his family, even though it hurts because you still hear about him. You could always tell his sister about your date and maybe she will tell him.
Today I’ve been spending time with my friend as she is going through a rough break up too. She actually told the guy that keeps bothering me about my ex to stop talking to me about him. He told her he was just trying to help me but what hr did was sent me crying through out the rest of the day. If he just keeps saying more stuff to me I will just have to tell him he isn’t helping anything.
Good to know you girls are going on dates, good luck. Just enjoy these moments, you are doing this for yourself and not to wonder how your ex will feel when/if they know about your encounters.
I guess you managed to fall asleep in the meantime amy111 lol.
You don’t know for sure if he’s really having the best time of his life, doesn’t matter if he told that to his family, actually it would make me more suspicious. I say things to my family not to make them worry sometimes.Fishingthesky
Thanks 🙂 yeah I did manage to get to sleep in the end-it’s horrible though. I keep waking up in the middle of the night with thoughts of my ex at the moment. It’s really getting me down 🙁 I think it’s because I’m moving out tomorrow into a house full of strangers, and it was all to be closer to him. I feel like garbage at the moment and can’t stop crying, it’s the worst and I don’t know how to make myself feel better!
It’s late here and I can’t sleep either.I was watching a TV serie earlier and suddenly this song played, it’s one of my favorite songs and it’s also the first one I played with my guitar to my ex. Felt like earth swallowed me whole and I can’t stop thinking of her now. We need to be strong.
Yeah 🙁 I’m really struggling! I think the problem is I keep replaying scenarios in my head…not good.
Stop replaying that and imagine pretty and colorful unicorns riding on a rainbow instead (silly suggestion intended).
I hope you both got some sleep. Fortunately I have been crazy busy at work so I basically work until I am exhausted and have been sleeping better as a result. Not positive this is healthy, but I don’t have much of a choice.
Fishing,
You are right about doing things for myself. Honestly, I really don’t want my ex to find out that I am dating because I think it will hurt him and wreck our chances of figuring things out. I am just trying to go about my life as normally as I can–this break up has been going on for a loooong time and he keeps flip flopping about what he wants. I’m secretly hopeful that a period of no contact will bring him around but I also wonder if I really want someone that I feel like I will have to be on eggshells around.@Palmtrees
I know that feeling all too well. The course says get your ex and keep him, but in the end you wonder if it’s really worth trying for someone you have to convince to be with you. I hope that in dating and finding yourself you figure out what it is you want to do. Maybe it includes a life with your ex, maybe it doesn’t.
Didn’t sleep much but it’s alright, I am quite accustomed to now.
Today I feel like writing an email to my ex, I just keep thinking about things I wanna tell her, thoughts that run through my mind. I have no purpose in pushing her to write me back, I don’t expect anything anymore. It’s my way to start letting go I guess, I don’t know if I can screw up my situation more than how it is, next week my month of no contact will end anyway. What should I do?Well since next week is you last week and Kevin suggests 30 days of no contact then I guess you could message her. But if you do and tell her you are finally coming terms with how things are then I guess no harm could be done. Unless you decide after the fact that you actually do want to try again.
When I feel uncertain I try not to act until I’ve ridden out the urge a bit. Maybe draft and email and save it then wait until tomorrow or the end of today and see if you still think it’s what you should do? I find that with time these urges either go away, or morph into something else and I am always happier when I don’t act immediately.
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