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@patricia12

Thank you for your message.
Sadly my brother just let me know that she now is in a relationship with someone else.

I won’t contact her anymore.

This really sucks.

@patricia12

Today I found out she removed the last two pictures of us she had on her Instagram. She had me tagged in them and today when looking at my own pictures I saw they were removed from the list.

I haven’t acted on this but I feel a bit shitty about it. I’m afraid she has moved on indefinite now…

I won’t look on her page to find out more information. It does hurt me to be honest that she removed the pictures so late, gives me a lot to think about.

@patricia12
Do you have any advice how to ask if she wants to try reconciliation? By then it would almost be 3 months after breakup.

@patricia12
Hello again, it’s been some time since my last post.

I’ve taken some distance from her since the last post. She stopped responding completely to my messages. I only messaged her twice. First time was a day or two after my post. She didn’t respond to this.

Second time was when I saw on her Instagram she passed her thesis. I was very happy for her and didn’t even think about the whole situation between us. It was a honest congratulations. I promise that there was no hidden goal in his message. She only liked my reaction, didn’t respond.

Now I haven’t seen anything of her for a week. I haven’t looked at a single post of her on Instagram and stopped looking at her social media completely. I still post on my own social media as I’m making more friends and really starting to like using social media. She watches every story I post, a lot of the time being te first to see it.

I’ve started therapy and had two sessions. I’m in therapy to improve myself but also to cope with the situation of the breakup. They basically say, don’t chase her and work on yourself. Better things will come.

I guess that’s right but after more than two months I still really would like to reconcile. I feel I’ve fixed important problems I had which were in the way of our relationship.

Yesterday was her birthday and I followed the advice of my psychologist to not send her a happy birthday message. This was very hard for me, as it feels as if I’m the bad guy now. While realistically, she broke up with me and things are not the same as they were. I’m giving her space but am afraid she thinks I don’t care about her anymore.

I’m really not sure if I should stay in No Contact now or if I should tell her I want things to be fixed between us. It has been more than two months since we broke up. She hasn’t contacted me and to be honest I don’t think she ever will.

Her school is done, she has vacation now (for a week). I give her time but shouldn’t wait on her. Although, I really hope she contacts me soon, as she said earlier.

@patricia12

She also said she was wrong about still loving me when she broke up. She did break up with me and we’re not in the position we were when she said that there was still love. It has been 1.5 months already.

I understand were you are going though. I will give her space and time. I only hope she doesn’t think I stopped caring and moved on because I stopped texting and posting on Instagram.

@patricia12
Thank you for your message!

She gave me no reason why she was unhappy. Asking her why normally got an answer like “because”. This was never something she was good at, this was no exception. She did tell me that I always postponed doing things together. This was true, the weeks before the breakup we were in a huge routine doing the same things weekly. I had a lot of problems doing new things, even more since I started my 40 hour/week job. The search for an apartment and my job on the side gave me more worries then ever. I’m pretty sure the stress made me depressed en damaged my confidence.

After our vacation in August 2019 however, I too saw this problem and I wanted this to change. The summer of 2020 was were I wanted to start doing more fun things. However, she said I said the same thing previous year and nothing changed. She was right, but this time I really got what she meant. I know I’m to late but this is exactly what I am trying to improve in myself right now.

Did I really message her to much after the elephant in the room text? Her first message was positive, so I thought I had green light. I never send two messages after each other and always waited for a response first. I didn’t text daily.

She had one exam previous Thursday, the next and last one is on the 17th of June. Of course she is busy but she really is constantly online, many times till about 2 o’clock at night. She is also posting a lot on social media about being with friends and stuff. I don’t have the idea that she really is busy and thought she used it as an excuse.

I know the answer too this but I’m very afraid she is searching for another guy. Immediately after she broke up she changed her status on Facebook to single while it was hidden before. I also see a lot of dudes liking her pictures on Instagram, as before there were only a few. She being online constantly gives me the idea she found someone new. I shouldn’t be busy with this, but sadly I am. I really love this girl. I know there is more out there, but I know this could’ve worked out if only we communicated better.

Hell, I’m not perfect.

I always thought my communication was good, but looking back at some text conversations I really was shocked to see how stupid I could be. This really was an eye opener and I want this to change. I bought the non violent communications book which already gave me lots of positive insights.