wolf

@patricia12 thank you for your kind words.
I hope i didn’t look narcissist. It was not the point at all. I don’t feel superior to anyone in any way, the only reason i described myself, her and our families in detail was to make a good frame of our realities so i can get your best opinions. We are a bit different, but that is what made me fall in love with her, her simplicity. I can tell you that in a way i respect her family love to each other more than mine, because they show and demonstrate love to each other a lot. In my family we do hug, but its not as warm, i hope i can express it well, not sure if my words were the best. :/
During all the time i was in a relationship with my ex i always shared love, kindness, appreciation, and affection a lot, with gestures and words. I’m a very romantic and sensible kind of guy. When i love, i do everything in my power to demonstrate it. In fact she would often say that i’m an uncurable romantic guy.
About her teeth, i never brought up the conversation until she specificly mentioned it, and i encoraged her to do something about it, and told her it would be something that would make her feel good about herself, but i never took it from my side, like “i want you to look good, so go fix them”, you know what i mean?
About weight, when it started getting out of control i advised her to try to start doing some sport, not because of how she looked (i never lost attraction for her because of that), but for her health, because she was eating a lot of bad stuff and gaining weight too fast. Also tried to show her that eating good things is important.
Our relationship was never about power. There was always a lot of respect, in fact i didn’t mention, but we never actualy argued, always managed to be very respectful and talk about our issues in a very calm way.
I’ve been focusing on myself now. I found i was going into a high state of anxiety, and it was becoming a problem at work, and for my health. I lost 6kg since the day she broke up and all due to stress and anxiety. I have a very strict food plan, kept eating the same amount of food and kept working out and surfing as usual (yes, i surf a lot and that’s why i need to be in shape and train a lot at the gym). Nevertheless i lost a lot of weight, and my nutritionist thinks its because of stress, that is consuming my energy resources.
I just regret that i didn’t discover this forum earlier, i’ve made lots of mistakes trying to get and back, but i now i understand that i must make the positive changes you mentioned, because if we don’t have to be back together, i have to kick out from this sort of “depressive” state i’m in, and follow my life. And also, because of course, making the positive changes will be determinant i we ever gat to be together again.
I had already decided to step back from talking to her friends a few weeks ago, have only done it when they reach out for me, because they care and want to know how i’m feeling. Mostly too, because my ex went through a lot of bad relationships in the past with very bad guys that treated her bad, and they feel like i was one of the best people to ever come into her life, and brought her good things.
Her mother is the one who seeks me the most, but i already explained her that i need to step back for a while. She realy likes me, but understood and respected that. Just doesn’t want to break contact permanently, which i assured her will not happen.
Thank you a lot for your words again.