TexasCzechChick

Wow. I am so sorry you are going through such a horrible time.
Trust me, I know the feeling of wanting to bombard an ex with
tons of texts and emails. We had it out big time in an email
argument and I told him I would never bother him again. I have
done NO CONTACT whatsoever with him for 2 weeks now. Not saying
that there isn’t a lot of things I would LIKE to tell him.
I hate him as much as I love him right now. But everytime I feel
like I want to send him an email or text, I just tell myself I
am going to make things worse and no matter how hard it is.
I WILL NOT DO IT. I think you really set yourself back by sending
soooooo many emails to his place of employment. You really need
to force yourself to leave him alone. Period. And, I know about
anxiety. I have it also, and I also know how much you hurt.
My now ex-boyfriend was a friend at work for 15 years, and we
were together for 5 years. He has not totally closed the door
on our relationship, but felt like “he needed to comfort an
old friend” going through a divorce. THAT hit me like a ton
of bricks because THAT is how we got together. I broke up
with him 6 weeks ago. He is the one that needs to figure out
what he wants. So does your ex-boyfriend. PLEASE stop yourself
from having any contact for your own sake. When he doesn’t
respond it only hurts you more. I really doubt that he read
50 emails. I’m not trying to be mean, but I am a realist.
Sweetie, please take care of YOURSELF. I promise that it won’t
always be as bad as it is right now. Hang in there, I’m going to..