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I completely agree with the controlling comment, I have been seeing a psychologist for the past month and a half and have be dealing with it among other things. I know I’m not fully there but have made a lot of progress.
Do you think I should go no contact for a month and then initiate contact or just minimize my contact during the periods we will both be travelling?
Thank you!
I agree with both of you, since our breakup I’ve gone through a lot of personal growth and genuinely want her back and want to be the man she deserves.
We went on a small date (walk and ice cream) and it seemed like we almost took a step back in terms of moving forward with a relationship. We texted after and she divulged that deep down she wants nothing more than to be with me but has a lot of reservations (will we revert back to where we were in a few months and if I would be controlling again), they are valid reservations and I do understand them. She also said she is not ready yet, we are both traveling in September so we agreed to take a “breather” from each other and check in mid month.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to approach this now or how I can help her get through these reservations she is having?
To update my situation, we went on another fun date last night. She’s been super stressed with work and school lately so I took her for a pedicure and then we ordered delivery to her house. Anyways, I told her I was no longer Seeing the girl. She told me her seeing me with someone so soon after the breakup is what is really holding her back and hurt her the most. She said that we need to start as friends and then go from there to see if we can form some a romantic and emotional connection again. BUT we also kissed for about an hour, no sex but just very passionate kissing. I’m just a little confused on why she is so hesitant to try again, if she was that hurt why would she be kissing me and laying in my arms as that’s not what a “friend” relationship is…
Also, if you have any advice regarding timelines of when to try to escalate or talk about being more than friends I would appreciate it!
I do agree with you, once I end the relationship with the new girl how do you recommend I go about trying the make amends? Do I blatantly tell her I ended it because I am still in love with her (my ex). She is still very hurt by me dumping her and I do not know how to handle the situation to make it better.
Hi Patricia,
You’re right about justifying seeing a new girl, she is likely a rebound and I am hanging out with her to fill a void that being single has left me.
We went on a date and it went very well, went back to her house and watched a movie and it seemed like everything was back to normal which was kind of weird. During the movie she brought up how I’m seeing another girl and that its hard for her to think about taking me back or dating me again as she knows I have been with another girl. I told her if she gave me a real shot I’d let the other girl go but I am confused as we agreed to see other people, why is this now an issue? We are not dating……
Further update, I saw her at the gym, we talked and she was being quite touchy with me… I found out she was stressed due to work and had not had time to eat so after my workout I went and picked her up food which she burst into tears when I brought her it. We hung out for an hour and it was weirdly like we were dating again as there was no awkwardness from either party.
I am not sure where to take it from here and would appreciate your advice.
Thank you for the reply Patricia!
Yes it’s strange but I had huge commitment issues and freaked out. Looking back on it it’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever done but I can’t go back and change it.
After we broke up we would tell each other we still loved each other but after we had a fight a month after the breakup everything changed. She also hoped we would get back together but after we had a fight and she saw me with another girl that changed.
I do have a fun date planned and am planning to keep it light hearted and fun.
