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Hi she just needs some time away from the relationship. Sometimes in a long distance relationship, you can feel smothered from the responsibilities. And like she says it can choke you. With time, there’s a good chance that she will miss you if she is still in love. Even though this may seem like it’s sudden, it wasn’t. She had been thinking about this for quite some time just didn’t know how to go about it. Your overprotectiveness can smother a relationship so learn from this experience. While you are apart, think about ways of improving your life and changing the bad aspects about you.
No don’t wait for him. Live your life! If it’s meant to be, he will return. How long was his last relationship? 4 months isn’t a long enough time to get over anyone so that’s really concerning. Sounds like he may have been infatuated in the beginning and now those feelings may have worn off.
That doesn’t sound like a rebound relationship. It sounds like they bonded and she got in between the two of you. Think back to the last 4 months-did your ex act/treat you differently once she stepped into the picture?
Hi Alicia59, I have five brothers who are active on facebook. When they breakup with a girl, they always untag pics and they often do it within weeks. Sometimes they do it right away and other times it takes weeks before they actually untag them. It’s because they are ready to move on and want to let others know that there isn’t anyone special in their life at the moment. If your ex is truly done, the next step your ex will likely take is to delete all pics or posts/comments that you have made on his wall.
Scatteredtracks thank you so much for your advice and insights!!I hope one day you get another chance with your ex. I am going to share your wisdom with my best friend who was completely at a loss of what to do. Your words will help her a lot so I thank you again for taking the time to help her out!!
Hi, No he will not forget you! Actually the truth is the longer that you don’t have contact with him, the more that he thinks about you. He will wonder things like what have you been doing lately, who are you with and has someone taken his place. So you don’t need to worry because you will be in the back of his mind.
Scatteredtracks, looking back on how you handled your bf smoking weed-what advice would you give someone going through a similar situation? I am asking because my best friend has entered a relationship with a guy that smokes weed all the time. I don’t have a problem if my bf smokes but she does! Was it worth throwing away the entire relationship just because he smoked a harmless plant? If you could do it all over again, would you have loved him unconditionally and accepted he likes to smoke weed? Or are you happier now that he isn’t in your life anymore? My best friend could learn from your experience!
Hi Sri I don’t know your story. Post a link and I will try to help you. I work for matchmaking companies to help singles find a great relationship so I know a lot about guys/girls!
You should never ever try to convince or persuade any guy to come back to you. They will lose respect for you and it will annoy/irritate the hell out of the them. You push them further away when you do. Also you can not make an ex come back to you by telling them the reasons he should return. Love does not work that way. I don’t think it’s too late for NC but do it for you. Your ex is clearly not interested in getting back together because if he were, you would have seen a sign of it by now. He sounds like he is having a lot of fun and is enjoying life. You should be too!
I don’t agree with elanna or anthurium. They keep suggesting that you make more of an effort but it seems you have changed a lot of things about you. It makes me wonder whether your ex appreciates any of the things that you have done so far. I can pretty much guarantee that your ex is going to react the same way to the handwritten letter as she has with everything else you tried. Honestly I think you should move on. I think you are wasting away your days making changes for a woman that has made it very clear in words and more importantly through actions that she doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you. Think of your relationship with her as a catalyst for change..it made you into a better partner. And it looks like that was her purpose in your life. The woman that you are meant to be with would be able to move past the ways that you hurt her and would love you unconditionally. She is out there waiting to meet you. But you need to free your heart from the chains and shackles of your past in order to meet her.
Agree with SirMe. Also keep in mind that fighting for a relationship takes 2 people. The cold hard truth is that one person can’t salvage a relationship on their own no matter how hard you try. Both people need to make an effort in some way. If you think you are fighting for a relationship, you really aren’t-except in your mind. It’s an illusion your mind creates so you don’t have to accept that this person is truly gone.
Hoping that an ex comes back to you while distracting yourself with other things is sort of like running in place while trying to get to point B. Your mind convinces you that you are moving but you are actually at a standstill just waiting for your ex to return. You need to fully accept the loss of your ex and only then can you move on.
Scatteredtracks-All’s fair in love and war, so if there was any sign that he wanted you back, it’s okay to try to take him from her. Even though I realize that a lot of people are going to say take the high road and let their relationship play out. But he was yours first so you have every right to take him back. Tough if the new girl doesn’t like it. The whole idea that you are going to do NC for years and then see where you guys are at..the fact is most likely one of you will have kids, moved away or have settled down. And if one of you had a better relationship that left a lasting impact, this relationship will not be memorable even though it seems like it now. The intensity of the relationship fade away depending on the next person you both have a serious relationship with.
Wow such a tough situation! I read some of your story because you have alot of posts. Do you actually think you and your ex are compatible? He smokes weed and it seems like you hated it. I think this fact alone had a major negative impact on your relationship. Guys have such sensitive and huge egos even if they don’t admit it-All of them do. It crumbles as soon as their girl tells them that they don’t like something about them. Does his new woman smoke weed?
If so and she accepts him for who he is as a person, then that’s one of the reasons he would say they ‘just clicked’. I hate to say it but rebounds can be very strong relationships. Rebounds aren’t always short-like my sister and 2 of my friends married their rebound lol. Mainly because the new relationship gives them whatever things the last relationship didn’t have. That’s one of the reasons rebounds work.
As for the whole New Year’s thing, I can tell you that he wasn’t serious about it. A lot of guys say that to their exes-“we can talk in the future and see where things are then”…it’s a common line so they don’t feel like such assholes after breaking up with their girl. And since it gives the girl hope, it means the guy has to deal with less drama because the girl isn’t freaking out so much about the breakup.
