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@Patricia12
Lol! I loved your description of your bipolar ex sis in law. That’s pretty much me. I can cruise around like a normal person for a while, then I start acting a little looney, get my meds adjusted and go back to cruise mode again for a while.
That being said – sometimes I think my disorder makes me drawn to people who have issues (my current ex is not my first addict). I think one reason is that I know they can empathize with and understand me a little better than someone more “normal”. And vice-versa, I can empathize with and understand them a little more. BUT it does make me prone to codependency. I’m trying to be sure that my desire to get my ex back is for the right reasons.
I respect him for recognizing that he can’t be in a relationship right now, and placing the focus back on himself where it belongs in this early stage. I think that speaks volumes about the man behind the problem.
I haven’t heard from him in a couple days, and am not initiating contact. We’ll see what happens when some more time goes by. 🙂Busch Gardens because he had sent me a little video of his daughter feeding kangaroos there, and knew I’d like them. I love animals. So I responded with “Awww!” and he asked if I’d like to go see them this Sunday. It wasn’t about the beer.
I know that dating a recovering alcoholic immediately brings up a red flag, but if we ruled someone out for that, when their other qualities are solid and good, I think it’s sad. Yes, the off-again parts of the past year were due to his drinking. He was hiding the depth of it from me. Now everything is out in the open and he’s doing incredibly well. I have bipolar disorder – it’s something I’ll battle for life, and if I didn’t have medication I’d be a mess. If everyone I ever met tossed me back because of my illness/weakness I’d never date. So..I can relate to a lot of what he’s going through. I fight this illness every day. My meds and therapy are like his AA meetings. Gotta keep on top of it or things go sideways. If we do the right things we can live healthy lives. I won’t give up on him solely based on his chronic condition.
I WILL give up if he drifts away during no contact, though. Just like I would with anyone. And I didn’t invite him to Busch Gardens the next weekend! I’m letting him come to me with any invitations. 🙂Thanks so much for your response. I deeply appreciate it. I think I mentioned in my post that we’ve been on/off for a little over a year. He stopped drinking in September, so it’s very new. I absolutely respect his need to tend to his sobriety and maintained no contact but he reached out to me. I keep my responses short and lighthearted. He asked me if I wanted to go to Busch Gardens this Sunday but I’m busy. I told him that and he said the offer stands for any Sunday because that’s his only day off. So..yeah, he wants to keep me in his life. He did say again that he loves me, that it doesn’t go away, but he can’t ask me to wait around while he can’t be involved. I feel like if I just let him come to me slowly, at his pace, and get more sober time under his belt, there’s still a chance. But I’m also keeping my options open.
