Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Do you think there is anything else i can do to increase my chances of him contacting me or showing I’ve changed and im not a sad dependent person anymore?? (Even then he may not want to get back but at least he will see he is potentially missing out on a good person/good time) I go out more, i take more pictures like i used to and look nice and im working out more, he wouldnt really know about my new job or that i want to do yoga or anything else because we havent had a conversation but from the outside view i would look somewhat good or okay?
Yeah thats exactly right, i’ve tried for so long and tbh i havent felt like ive invested so much into someone before even in my previous relationships i finally got to a point where i was like i hope this is my last relationship and im gonna do whatever i have to to make it right. This unfortunately didnt really work out as i wouldve hoped and me pushing and trying so hard led to me lowering my standards and accepting poor treatment. Honestly, i would love if he apologised even if we didnt get back together because it would just show him recognising his wrongs and how i feel, but at this point i think hes so stubborn and his ego is so high he just wont do it… I think ill wait till the month is over before i think about contact.. I think when i initate contact it wont even be like hey how are you (acting as if nothing ever happened and im not still hurt) but rather bring up a memory as a question (which ive seen as advice in many relationship coach/expert videos) and just try to show that i have changed as a person in the sense that i am happy upbeat and bubbly again and not sad and loomy like i was towards the end of the relo.I’m also considering not messaging him for maybe two months in hope that he will message me first.. but im so unsure of what the outcome will be in that regard and it is somewhat worrying/upsetting as i like to feel at least some sense of certainty in a situation.
Even if the relationship isnt going to be fixed anytime soon at least an apology would definitely make me feel better about a friendship, so im not really sure where his head is at because ultimately some people may feel bad and never tell you or they may not feel bad at all.. 🙁
Ideally, if we ever did get back (which i would hope for at some point in the near/future) i would be making it very very clear that honesty and trust are essential and we should be able to communicate about anything openly even as friends during the relationship. I think we started off this way and as things began to progress negatively that aspect of our relationship got worse.. If he didnt want to compromise about this i’d have no choice but to walk away from the situation.
Also like you said about me mentioning he had many exes prior to that i think the main difference here that is significant in this situation is that i tried and kept going even after i saw his effort and “good boyfriend” ability decrease to try and save the relationship and those girls didnt. I was introduced to his family and those girls werent, like there were many things during the strange up and down course of the relationship that prove i was somewhat significant in comparison to the “other girls” but the way he spoke to me in that last argument about that “girl mate” really made me feel otherwise which is why im so hurt and not sure what to do or expect from here
Thanks for responding..I think it was genuine (the way he was in the first few months) but obviously people tend to show their best side as much as possible when their trying to pursue someone to be able to “get them” i get over time youre allowed to be comfortable with the person and show them all side of you i.e. you when youre angry, or annoyed or sad etc, but it went from good to overly comfortable to the point where he thought trying regularly wasnt needed.
I think it really does scare me that there could be other things i didnt know about which is heart breaking but i dont really think it would be a cheating situation, but obviously either way i dont know why he felt the need to do that.
I dont know if he will ever apologise for that.. I would literally dream that he would because thats how stubborn and prideful he is..
I dont necessarily think we’d get back together because he apologised, because wed broken up prior to that anyway.. This is something i found out 2 days after the break up which occured during the relationship. So my intention isnt to get back together at least not right now. I just wish he could see the wrong in his actions and consider my feelings. I’m following Kevin’s 5 steps and really doing alot of things instead of blowing up his phone or acting needy, i dont know if i havent given him enough time to come to his senses or if he ever will?? He really did want to breakup and now that we have he may be more happy than unhappy about it.. not sure cos we havent spoken since that fight even though we were meant to stay “friends”.
