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Yeah she wants to give it a month or two to think things through. But, her parents both want her and I to get back together at some point, so that’s encouraging. It’s just really hard to deal with the fact that some other guy has slept with her. And so quickly.
And yeah rebounds always seem to be the opposite of you. This guy is a douche and a player and would go see her when he’s high and late at night. I am nothing like that. They’re just seeing what else is out there and most of the time are disappointed.
Yeah man this guy is a rebound. I know the image of them having sex is unbearable. I just found out today that my ex had sex with this guy and she said it was awful and she regrets ever doing it. She went on to say how she missed me and is thinking of me every day. Now she’s going to be alone for awhile, she says, to think about us and figure out how we can make things work.
Fact of the matter is that once things go wrong with that guy, she will realize what she’s missing about you. She just needs to be alone and she will miss you. Just be patient. Rebounds hurt really badly, but it’s important for us not to take it personally. They’re trying to fill a hole we left and just trying to distract themselves from their feeling of loneliness.
She keeps texting me and saying how much she regrets sleeping with him and how it makes her want to throw up. She says she is lucky to have someone who cares so much about her when there is this guy that’s only trying to get in her pants. It “showed her where her heart really should be.” So looks like we are making progress.
That’s exactly what I told her. She said she doesn’t want to see any other guys for the moment until we work our relationship out. Too many players. And I’m still caught up on her so I don’t want to see any other girls either. I guess we both are just working on us for now and one day we may meet up and start things again.
Hey well I just found out that she had sex with that guy. She said it was NOT good and she misses our sex and the whole time wished it was me. Look I’m still really hurt that she did that so soon, but maybe it’s normal for someone to do that then realize how wrong it is??
Yeah I may try to go out and talk to some other girls, but my heart’s not there yet. And the email was just one of those that you write to yourself, but I actually sent it. I talked about our past and how great it was at the start and how we made it through really hard times. Then I talked about when it got bad. I owned up to what I could have done better. Then I went on to talk about the future. How I’m bettering myself and how I don’t think we are over yet. How I want to show her the man I’m going to change into. And talked about how much she really meant to me and how I took it all for granted and I’ve learned to keep what is most dear to you as your top priority.
When I sent it to her yesterday afternoon she just said it was thoughtful and sweet but nothing else. So hearing back from her and knowing she’s been thinking about what I wrote was nice.
Hey little update: She texted me in the middle of the night saying how she misses me and how much my email meant to her. She said she’s cutting things off with that guy because she realized he wasn’t me and other guys are douchey and she wants her good boy back. So she’s going to be by herself for awhile dealing with her feelings and see what happens with us in the future.
I’m happy she’s realized that she can’t fill the hole I left with some other guy. And that she’s thinking of me and still cares about me. We’ll see what happens.
Yeah exactly I don’t regret putting myself out there and being the last one to put forth the effort. Then you can say you tried all you could. I already don’t want to talk to her for the moment because all it leads to is utter devastation when she doesn’t want to be with me. So I’m just going to try and be happy with what I have for now! That’s interesting about your ex’s texts..very contradictory. But optimistic! Sounds like he wants you in his future, he’s just out seeing what other people are like and if they will match what you guys had (probably won’t :).
Let’s all just look forward to tomorrow and the weekend where we can go out and take our minds off this!
Hey Atea, thanks so much that feels good to hear something positive for once!! Haha yeah losing first love is as bad as we have all heard it is. I thought we would get married, we had always talked about it and we were planning where I would go to medical school and where she would find a job. The uncertainty of the future really is what is scary.
Honestly I’ve felt pretty good today. After being rejected from the email I sent her where I literally poured everything out, I feel like a load has been taken off my back and she at least knows how I’m feeling. The rejection kind of made me realize how pathetic I actually look (which is normal) and made me realize that I really need to just move on with my life and stop letting this control everything I do. Time to improve myself and put myself first for once. I’ve actually eaten some food tonight too! Tylenol p.m. yes I need to go buy that because I don’t want to take NyQuill or any other sleeping pills like that.
It sounds like you’re going through the same kind of uncertainty we all kind of are. None of us hate our exes and things just kind of fell apart. It stinks hearing that the spark is gone and they want to see what else is out there, but hey if they come back later in life then you know it’s right! If that’s what we want at that moment.
Man you basically said it right there. She still does care about you and think about you! If she’s noticing all those things and especially if she’s still wearing the ring. I think she’s definitely just waiting for the right moment to give you it. When her head is clear. I think girls just come off as distant and not seeming to care when they are going through a breakup. They’re just trying to figure their stuff out.
Yeah I figured that would be the case. I’ll love her forever. I’m just now starting to actually be able to step back and realize that we had to be apart at the moment. It was the hardest thing looking at her and knowing she wasn’t in love with me anymore. You can tell by the look in their eye. It’s gut-wrenching to even think about. It’s like I’ve lost my best friend. One day I’ll either be able to rekindle it with her or find another girl that will be capable of loving me in the same way.
Damn man you’re a strong guy for being able to handle seeing her or hearing her with another guy. That’s really good. It is really weird how we still love them unconditionally, but even I’m starting to feel like I don’t want to talk to her anymore because it only hurts. Weird how love works and grows differently.
It does seem like girls have a second option waiting for them right after they end things with their boyfriends. My ex isn’t dating this guy, but I let my imagination run wild and imagine she’s with him every night and he replaced me. I know it’s not true, and even if it were I would have to accept it for what it is and move on with my own life.
YES my girlfriend took up so much of my life my relationship with my guy friends was seriously hindered. So my support system here at college isn’t great, but I went home last weekend (2 hours away) and spent time with my family which was great.
I think the loneliness is the worst part of my breakup. She was my everything and who I went to with all my stress and problems, and I was for her too. I would like to think I’m just lonely and I don’t want her, but in reality I think I’m still in love with her. Hopefully I either fall out of that love or we end up together down the line. Time will tell.
Hopefully by the time of your 5-year things will be different than they are now. Hopefully you’re either not missing her anymore or you guys figured your stuff out. either way that’s a long ways away and you’ve got so much time to become the best you.
I wonder when she will give you that note? It’s very sweet and definitely meant she still thinks and cares about you. I wish my ex would show me something that would remind me she still thinks about me because it’s just been a one-way street in that department.
Separate note, engineering classes? What kind of engineering?
Yeah I feel yah I broke NC today after 5 days and it just made me feel so much worse. Never a good idea to break NC so early on.
I’m sure she will miss you during this NC especially after the ideal 30 days or so. And at that point yeah you will be a better person and if you guys meet up and things seem to click then great! If not, then you’re ready to move on. As for distracting yourself, last weekend I went home from college and went to the bars with my two brothers and it was a great distraction. Getting out and seeing that the world is still revolving during your hard time is good for you.
I’m glad to hear you’re doing stuff that you like (running and programming) and getting your life going again. I’m going to try and play basketball tomorrow and hang with some friends. We gotta stop letting our exes control our lives, especially during NC. Gotta rediscover ourselves as independent men. It’s weird though, haven’t been one in 5 years so it’s scary.
Doesn’t it suck being a guy going through this? It’s hard to open up to my guy friends because I don’t feel comfortable crying in front of them, and it’s still hard for me to not cry when talking about the situation haha. So yeah this website helps talking to other people who know exactly how you feel. I know the website is all about getting your ex back, but it’s really helpful for figuring out how to love yourself and manage how to be on your own before even thinking about getting back with your ex.
I can’t imagine what you’re going through man. Knowing she’s five feet away and you used to be best friends god i thought being on the same campus with my ex was hard!
So lemme give you the low down for today, if you don’t mind. So today was her birthday and conveniently our 5-year anniversary (or at least it would have been). I had been on 5 days NC but I felt like I would have regretted not wishing her a happy bday. So I did, in a fun text. She responded and said this day has been really hard for her and she misses me. So I of course got false hope and wrote up a super lengthy, emotional email about us and sent it to her in hopes of getting her back. As you can guess, it didn’t change her mind (as it shouldn’t have). She said it was thoughtful and sweet but she doesn’t think were meant to be right now. Idk what I was thinking when I decided to send it it’s kind of pathetic to think about now really. So I’m back to NC now.
I’m gonna try to eat properly and start going back to the gym again after a two-week break from working out. I’m not sure what I want either right now. I miss her severely, but I think I’m starting to see the positives of this breakup.
Enough about me, tell me what’s going on with you man.
Hey @nick1234 I read your story on the other page and you’ve got a lot of similarities to my situation right now, and seeing as you’re a month ahead of me in the process I was wondering if you have any advice?
My ex and I were together for 5 years (age 15-20 for me). She is two years ahead in school. She went off to college while I was still in high school and we made it work perfectly for 2 years long distance. I never lived with her here in college, but I stayed with her or she stayed with me every night. She was my best friend. Then she broke up with me last week and has already kissed another guy. I can’t eat or sleep at night because (like you said) I wake up from dreams with her like every hour of the night. You got any advice, man?
