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Hey I just wanted to chime in from a guy’s perspective in a similar situation. My ex of 5 years dumped me and I was heartbroken. Her birthday was also coming up. We went NC for about a week before her birthday, then on her birthday I sent her just a short, sweet text wishing her a happy day and that I hope she’s doing well. So I would say definitely wish him a happy birthday because obviously you still care about him and it’s just a kind gesture.
Also, about sending the mom a text. I did that to her mom because I was really close with her family. I sent her a text saying how I was sorry about the things that went down between us and how I know she was the best thing to enter my life and that I have nothing but love for all of them. Well apparently that made her mom cry a lot and she wants us to get back together soon. So if you haven’t already, I’d say send a nice text to his parents!
Feel free to ask me anything I’d love to give you more perspective.
I know I keep telling myself that I deserve someone who will actually love me the way that I love her. But I know she will get back to that point. I’m just impatient because I know what I want, but I can’t have it. I’ll try NC more this weekend. Hopefully it’ll do some good.
Blahhhh I know you guys are unfortunately right! You know I just worry that if I do stop talking to her for good that she will just move on. Maybe I’ll move on too, who knows. And she wasn’t really dating that guy. She hung out with him 4 times she said and it was just a huge mistake. I think I’ll gradually stop talking to her. I’ve been doing well lately and not thinking about her as much as I was weeks ago. Been back to working out and eating. Sleeping is still not going very well, but it’ll come back.
I agree that it’s unfair. Not that she hasn’t made up her mind; that’s understandable. But rather that I feel like I’m being strung along, you know? I don’t know it’s just a tricky situation. Because I love having her in my life and the things she tells me indicates that she wants me too. And as much as I want to go back to dating her right now, we would be rushing back into it.
I would say it is DEFINITELY working. I’ve been through the same thing with snap chat. I remained my ex girlfriend’s friend on there for awhile. But then seeing her and knowing what she’s doing made me miss her way more than I already was so I stopped looking at them. He’s clearly avoiding looking at your stories for the same reason. Keep doing what you’re doing. However, just because he’s missing you doesn’t mean he’s ready to get back. I’d say give it a little more time then reach out whenever you think is best! Or if he does first, even better. But yes, NC is working.
And one mistake we had last Sunday was I had her over at my apartment and she spent the night and we had sex. It definitely made me miss her even more because I haven’t seen her since then.
Yeah both of you are right. It’s hard for me to ignore her texts though. Like I feel bad just leaving her wondering why I’m not answering her. Because she did that to me and it’s not a pleasant feeling. She knows I want her back, we’re both very open about that. It’s all timing right now. I’ve told her that I can’t just wait around forever. And if she goes back to that guy I couldn’t be with her because that would mean she didn’t learn her lesson from being played. I just hate seeing her in pain and I like helping. This was her text to me when I said maybe we should take a break from texting because it’s doing so much pain to me. “Ryan you don’t know the half of it! I will miss you so much and probably text you soon. I love you so much!” It’s obvious we still love each other, so it’s very confusing why we both have to be unhappy when we could be happy together.
Hey everyone just wanted to express that I had a positive day for once! Went to the gym, hung out with friends, did well on a test, got some groceries, and actually ate normally today! Hope everyone else had a good day, too. Listen to Knee Deep by Zac Brown Band if you’re feeling down, it always lifts me up!
Damn man that’s cold of her. It’s the worst when they just ignore you and don’t give you any sort of response. Maybe by playing it cool for awhile she may start to miss you. But all you can do now is sit and wait and it’s awful.
That’s exactly what I thought too. Might as well go all in for someone you love. Better to regret doing something than wonder “what if”! At first when my ex got it she sent me just a neutral text saying it was very sweet and thoughtful. Then later that night at like 1:00 she texted me and said how much it meant to her and how thought changing it was. So don’t worry if he plays it cool, it probably means more to him than you know.
Honestly, I would say send it. Then you can say you tried everything and got everything off your chest. I sent one to my ex and she was extremely touched by it and it really helped her think about us again. We’re talking more and she wants us to get back together in time. I think it is a very sweet email and wouldn’t drive him away.
That’s really good advice. It really sucks to hear though and you understand that. It’s just she has snapchatted me twice tonight like she’s trying to get my attention. And I want so badly to respond to her but I really need to show her I can give her space and live my own life. She’s meeting up with the other guy tomorrow to tell him off and tell him how big of a douche he is. Hopefully it goes like that we’ll see. Then she can start evaluating everything. But yeah time apart is the best thing for us, even though it’s the hardest thing for me.
I can’t believe you and your ex were able to keep your composure for that long and not reach out to each other. That’s extremely hard! And mature. I don’t know if I could do that or even want to spend a month apart from my ex. She’s still the love of my life.
And the more I think about it, the more I realize how unfair it is of her to come back into my life whenever she wants and leave it whenever she wants. Like after texting for 4 days consistently now she wants to stop. Like how much pain can a guy go through.
I mean all of that makes sense. I just miss her so much and love talking to her even if it’s not right. She assured me that she loves me for the right reasons, but I don’t know maybe I have too much trust in her words. I think you’re right, it’s just hard when you’re still in love with that person and they contact you.
Atea and Mike and whoever can I get your guys’ opinion on my situation?
So my ex and I have been talking recently. Idk if I told you guys everything but basically during the breakup she got used by another guy purely for sex even though he seemed interested in her. And now she’s really hurt and feels like a fool for believing a player. So we’ve met up and talked and I’ve been really sympathetic and supportive for her. Andddd we had sex one night and she slept over that night. But now she says she just needs time to heal from her situation with that guy. She says she feels numb. Here are a couple texts : “It’s just I made a stupid mistake jumping back and forth (between guys) and now I just need to appropriately close things off (with the other guy), heal, and be ready for love with you.” “I know I’m in love with you I just need to heal from life and then I will be ready to be back to girlfriend.” We aren’t really talking today besides this morning and I’m hoping that will give her some space. What do you guys think?
