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Update: She responded and we talked for a couple minutes. She said if she is in the area at that time (She switches between San Fran and Los Angeles) she is down to hang out. It was pretty casual. Maybe I’m overthinking it.
I started working out, got an old writing job back, learned about some things so that I can socialize better at family parties, looked up general guides on how to be less insecure and changed my major to something I could bare.
Oh I’m participating in a charity marathon, so all sorts of games. Thank you for the advice! 🙂 So I should be upbeat and carefree? Could I somehow incorporate some of the things I worked on with no-contact that I forgot to mention to her? :/
We were together 8 months. We said we loved each other. Then she slowly turned away in the last two months and then said some slightly hurtful things to me afterward. Then she would not really acknowledge me for a long time and even after two no-contacts she would be cold and neutral with any response. So I started giving up. That’s when she started appearing more where she knows I go (online) and then she started liking statuses of mine, giving an occasional shout out and acted very pleasant. Last night was when we talked, and she seemed so excited. But I’m just so afraid she saw right through me. She has been MIA all day now, which is understandable but she wasn’t the previous days. Also, tomorrow is my shift of the stream, meaning if she chooses to come she would actually see me on camera and playing games live for all to see. I don’t know how to act if she comes. She probably won’t now 🙁
You think? It feels like the convo started with her so much more excited. I’m afraid I played my hand, showed I still care and that pushed her away. 🙁
@Kaila She ended by saying “We’ll talk soon! I’m glad we caught up.” I don’t really know if she actually meant the first part. But it sort of stung since it started out so well. She brought up a memory of us and said she thought about it and it made her sad cause she missed it.
I should also mention that at one point she got kind of emotional. I brought up an old memory of us and it had to do with a gift that I forgot she never gave to me (We are long-distance) It made her feel bad and she started downing herself. She then said sorry and that she’s been very critical of herself lately.
That’s one thing I was definitely wondering. She just sends out the occasional favorite now. I guess I’ll return the favor and not get too excited. At least the negativity is gone. But I’m not sure there is much more…
Yeah, definitely not driving distance. I do think she definitely has a positive attitude toward me, which makes me feel really good. The negative association seems to be gone. I’m just not sure how to act going forward if I want something more.
Thank you! 🙂
I think… Maybe since we literally just restarted communication maybe I should show some fortitude and independence first? Maybe look busy and happy on social media. And remember, she is long-distance, so I can’t physically meet up with her yet 🙁 The most would be a video Skype call. I don’t think she’d be up for that but I don’t know…
And you think? She wouldn’t just keep her ex in her life cause he was her friend before? Or just to clear the conscience? We also have a lot of the same friends online, so she may have felt it was impossible not to bury the hatchet :(…
I guess I have doubts cause now it’s a couple days after and nothing is escalating in any way. If anything, it is going down. I don’t mean like contact. I mean like further acknowledgement. I’m worried she is so far past us at this point that that’s the reason she was so positive and happy about it. Cause she just wanted to know we would be okay with each other and now she can move on. I’m worried she may be so past it that that’s the only reason for the kindness and removal of negative association. She’s very popular and she talks to a lot of other people online. Maybe she just sees me as nothing more than a friend now…
Oh and yes! I would very much like to get back together. I feel like I am able to see here as a person now. I had crushed on her for a year before we dated and I believe that made me put her on a pedestal and that combined with my insecurities severely hurt our relationship. But she has become happier recently too and she’s just so lovely to me.
