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Good morning,
I didn’t wrote anything because there was no news, she did not contact me in any way (except looking my Instagram) and I was busy with exams and graduation.
Tomorrow, a very dear friend of mine will meet her because she have to give him something back that was in her house.
I am quite tense for this meeting even if I have no reason to. If my ex girlfriend ask my friend how I am, how would it be better to answer?
I don’t want her to think that I’m fine and I forgot about her or that I’m crying every day locked in the house, because it’s not reality in either case.
Should my friend tell her that I still wanna meet with her or talk to her through text messages? (If the topic happens in their meeting, of course)
Thanks for the attentionHi, Patricia, I hope everything’s going well.
My ex didn’t text me, but I’m much better. I can be happy even without her, I have started to have new passions and in general I am quieter and hopeful for my future.
I realized that I don’t need her to be happy, but that having her near me would definitely make me feel a lot better. I continue NC, but definitely with the certainty that if it doesn’t end well with her, the world is full of other girls and possibilities. (obviously the times I miss I’m really sick and I cry, but slowly it’s getting better and better).I happened to ask for advice on this breakup in forums like these on the internet and the general answers were “it will never happen again, you have to forget it, forget it because she doesn’t love you, even if she doesn’t tell you”.
I’m crazy to think that how we could get back together, we might not even get back together? And so to say that it will never happen again is as false as to say that it will happen 100%?
I hope everything goes well 🙂No news, she hasn’t texted me.
I’m afraid she’d move on and won’t write to me, but I’m confused by so many things that I just wish I had an answer.
Although I’m trying to distract myself, sometimes I remember some things that happened, like the fact that twenty days before she broke up with me, she asked me to see and book the summer holidays to do together.
I’m still confused by her reaction when I wrote to her (I won’t write to her again) because she seemed the victim of the situation and she actually appeared sad, but on social media she always seems so happy and enjoying her life.
I don’t know if she forgot about me or is trying to forget me, she hasn’t deleted me from her life (she still has our playlist on Spotify, our photos uploaded on Instagram) but she hasn’t contacted me.
I don’t know what to expect from the future.No news, she hasn’t written me yet.
I posted yesterday a picture of me on Instagram (after months of not doing it) and she immediately put “like” on it, when I or my friends that she follows put stories on Instagram, is among the first people to see them.I don’t understand this behavior but I’m still on NC.
Have a nice day 🙂Thank you for your always kind words. 🙂
No, when we spoke on the phone, she didn’t give me any more explanations about the breakup, only that she loved me but no longer as before, that she didn’t know why and couldn’t understand why but that she was doing what she felt, and that I deserved a person who loved me 100%, while she was loving me not like before.
No, I won’t write to her because although I was shocked by such a sudden reaction (she seemed afraid of confrontation, afraid of me. None of my friends who knew us as a couple expected a similar reaction, even though they told me to forget her. Everyone, included me, expected her to take a confrontation in person, even to tell me we weren’t getting back together.), I care about her and I don’t want to do anything to hurt her.
The possibility of ending up in the same city is independent of getting back together or not, because my studies may have to continue in the same city (whether we are back togheter or not).
It hurts a lot to think that such an important relationship ended on the phone but I can’t live life waiting for a message from her, when she writes (if she writes to me) I will be very happy to talk to us and see what will happen. If it’s destiny we cannot do anything to control it.
Thanks again for your time.
An update.
I wrote to her on a text, pulling out a positive memory and she immediately responded, apologizing for not contacting me on my birthday because she didn’t want to intrude or ruin my day. We talked a little bit about college, and I told her I wanted to see her and talk about what I realized in this two months apart.
She told me that she didn’t expecting, asked me what I thought, and that she didn’t think it was a good idea to see us. I explained that I had been thinking a lot about what had happened and I would like to tell her and listen to her thoughts, she told me that seeing us would not be a good idea because it would complicate things and would not help us.She added that she didn’t want to hurt me, but neither did she want to start the process of getting better again, adding that she has only positive memories about me, but that she couldn’t see me now.
She said she’d want to hear from me in the future about how I’m doing and what’s new in my life because she care about me, but seeing me now would be hurting herself.I asked her why she thought I wrote to her and she said that she thought I wanted to know how she was doing, that she liked to hear from me and that she would write to me in the future too.
She added that even this conversation upset her, that it’s too soon for her and she can’t handle the emotions she caused her; that she can’t go back to how she was two months ago because she’s trying to get better slowly and see me would make her panic.I asked her how to behave to respect her spaces, she told me that in the future she’ll want to write to me to know how I’m doing and how it’s going, but it’s too soon now.
He wished me luck and the conversation was over.This reaction left me shocked because I did not expect it but I never showed anger and I immediately said to respect her choices and that if she felt to do so she was right to do it (I didn’t tell her about the changes in my life, nor about the possibility that I would go to study in her own city in the future because I thought they would upset her even more).
I would add that this was not an abusive relationship on either side, either physically or mentally. It was a healthy, respectful relationship.
Now I need to focus on me and the things that make me feel good, I don’t think she’s gonna come back, and even if it makes me angry that she doesn’t want to talk to me in person, it’s only fair that she does what makes her feel better.Thank you for your time.
Update: yesterday was my birthday and she didn’t write me to wish me happy birthday, she just viewed the Instagram stories I posted without doing anything.
I do not know what to do and I have lost hope that this is a situation to be recovered.
Thanks for the answer 🙂
I am following as much as possible the suggestions reported by the site, so it would also be appropriate to start to create a connection through the messages before seeing each other in person (which would be for mid-May, if not June)?
Sometimes I’m afraid that she actually moved on and that love won’t start again, as my friends are telling me to protect me from further disappointments.
Good dayI forgot to add that she’s one of the most stubborn people I know and I think she’ll never contact me first because the last time we spoke she was genuinely sorry to make me feel bad.
She also added that it would be more correct to see and talk about it in person but because of Coronavirus could not continue to make me feel bad (I was constantly on the phone hoping she would write to me, ask me to call us and I was no longer finding the strength to do anything) for at least another two months and resolve this situation at the end of the quarantine.
She never explicitly told me that she no longer loved me, only that the love she felt was no longer the same as before and that she preferred to leave and break up with a good memory rather than continue something that would make us hate in the end.
