Nedim

If you feel like you were not mature enough, then it’s the perfect time to change if you want to.
Me and my ex have a couple of common friends. Most of them managed to become as neutral and independent as it’s possible. There’s one guy who is not, but he’s on my side.
And there’s a girl (who is also a mutual friend) who helped me the most in the days after the break up. We were close friends already, but she literally saved my life. And I also admire her because of she managed to stay neutral as well. She isn’t crossed with my ex or something.
I can absolutely understand your decision why don’t you want to speak with her. If you have more mutual friends, be aware. Only tell your very close friends how broken and lost you are. Some common friends may talk to your ex about your mood and situation, and it wouldn’t be nice if your ex would know how bad do you feel. She should see exactly the opposite, that you’re happy, confident, you’re improving yourself, living your life.

It’s totally fine that you’re using Tinder 😀 It’s a new occupation for you, and it’s not a problem that you’re trying with some kind of dating there. Actually, dating can be good for you. You are free and independent now, you can do whatever you want, so take advantage of it, even if it’s just online dating. What’s more, getting to know new people also helps your process of improving yourself and changing.

Just be aware of drinking! 😀 You know, in many films guys often do silly things with their exes if they’re drunk 😀 Not a problem that you didn’t talk to girls, it’s far enough if you still had fun.

At the moment, we send daily 1-2 messages to each other in the group conversation, but we haven’t talked in private for 2 weeks. When we used to talk in private (after the break up), we had very short conversations, which ended awkwardly. In every cases, she was the one who wrote on me. But actually, since the first days of the break up, we only talked about everyday topics, nothing deep or serious. And just really short messages.
I still consider it as No Contact. To be honest, I’ve planned a really long NC. I must improve myself in lot of things, and I don’t really have time because of school, competitions and etc. And we were very determined and committed, and the break up happened relatively fast, so… I don’t really know. I just need more space.
She seems to be okay, but of course, I don’t know what she really feels and thinks. She was very strange in the first weeks, now it has been normalized. She doesn’t give any signs, from which I could find out something about her. I wish I could read her mind.
Well, then you’re relatively close to me 😀 I’m from Hungary 🙂 (and my ex too).
(Actually, german is my second language at school, but I’m not so good at it :D)

My ex had birthday recently as well. I just wrote a simple ‘Happy Birthday’ to her on facebook. I would do it for all of my friends and acquaintances.

About the first girlfriend thing: I thought I had already mentioned it: for me, my ex was my first girlfriend as well. We had very intimate and erotic relationship, however, both of us are still virgin. But we planned exactly how the first time will happen, and swore that we only want to lose our virginity to each other, and things like that, so… Ehmm. I think your case is still worse, because this thing is a strong bound between you two.
Drunk during daytime? Strange. Actually, prepare yourself, because that might not be the last and only one strange thing that will come.
It’s not a problem that she didn’t send any message. Just like you, she needs free space – or she just understands that you need free space. It doesn’t mean that she doesn’t care at all. She need time for recovery, and maybe she feels better if she doesn’t send messages. It’s something similar to what you’re doing (NC). Don’t forget that she is broken too, and the break up was very hard for her as well, even if she was the one who did it.
My ex talked to me on the first two weeks, but these were very short (4-5 messages long) and awkward conversations. And as I’ve said, once she was happy and playful, once she became rude.
I have Tinder too 😀 I have no experiences yet, but I think it’s hard to find there a girl who wants a serious relationship. But of course, it is a very good way to occupy yourself. The population of my city is around 100k, but when I widen the search range to the maximum kilometer limit, it finds girls from the capital, and I’ve learned how to cope with distance, so… there wouldn’t be a problem if I would take it seriously:D

The vacation is good. Take advantage of it as much as it’s possible. You’ll have a lot of time for yourself. (Poor me, I’ll only have 6 days).

My break up happened 1 month and 1 week ago. And we were together for 7 months (I think I haven’t mentioned it). And thank you for trying to help 😀 Listening itself is a good way of helping. We’re in a similar situation, and if I can tell personal things from my case, it also helps me.

Hi there, it’s me again 😀

I’m really afraid as well. I can only hope that my ex won’t move forward quickly. She goes to a lot of events, a lot of places, she has a lot of programs. In that group conversation, which was mentioned above, she always tells how many programs does she have. But I don’t even know where the hell she will go, and what’s more important: with who. She had 2 boyfriends before me (both relationship lasted only for few weeks), so… But I don’t know, as I’ve said, I can only hope. But most people in this website say that exes (is that the correct plural form?) don’t move forward so easily. If they do so, it will be only a short-term “rebound” relationship.

Answering your question: I don’t think that blocking her is a good idea. Only if the break up was very provocative and fierce. Then you should separate yourself from her totally. If it was relatively peaceful, I wouldn’t do it if I were you. Maybe only in the first days. According to my case, my ex becomes very angry and rude if I don’t reply to her. She feels that I’ve hurt her, which is not exactly my aim.
However, No Contact is not really 100% No Contact. When she writes something to you, you can give a short reply – but strictly without any emotion – if you want to and/or it’s necessary. But you must keep as little contact as possible. I’m just saying that if you sometimes react when she has contacted you, that’s not the end of the world.
If she wants to talk more, you can just simply say that ‘It would be better not to talk for a while I think, both of us need some free space” (or something like that, but be aware that you are not showing how broken you are). Actually, the last sentence the braces is always true. You shouldn’t show off your emotions to her at any time, only if you’re not showing that how happy you are.
But of course, if you feel better when she’s blocked, you should keep it that way.