Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
I was about to write to you, but when I opened the forum my ex texted on me, and it’s really late now, and I have to take every chance when I can talk with her.
Tomorrow I’ll come with a much longer post, I promise! 😉My feelings are very mixed about this conversation right now. She texted on me, but not because of the webpage or anything related to this… She asked me how am I doing, and what’s up with me. It’s the first time since the break up. I’m happy that it happens, but my stomach is shaking… okay I don’t know the expression for it in english, but I hope it’s understandable 😀
We’re just talking about general, everyday stuff, like school, summer job, etc. But I doubt she has nothing else to say.P. S. Nice to see you again after these busy days/weeks! 😀
I was so naive when I said that the busy period is over… There’s only one week left from school and still I have to learn for chapter tests and final exams -_-
But now, I have some time 🙂So, in these days I’ve finished the video with my classmates. It’s really good! 😀 But I haven’t show it to my ex. Maybe later. I’m waiting for the right time.
Recently, my ex is more kind and more “normal” with me on the group chat. And I don’t know why. But I started to have fun with her, and we have good conversations. It might be confusing, but by conversation, I mean only some messages. And only on the group chat. I have not talked with her in private for one and a half month.
It’s strange that some times ago it hurt much when I had a fun time with her, but now I don’t have this feeling. Maybe slowly (really really extremely slowly) but I’ll get over her, even if it’s need some time.
The party would be on the middle of June, and the bigger meeting would be on the middle of July (or maybe at early July).Last night my ex was at a party, and she was drunk – again. It was weird. It seemed like she is proud of that. But I think I’ve already told you that she didn’t really like alcohol, because she has really bad experiences with it. Now, she drinks regularly again. It’s an other bad factor why I don’t like her. I think she changes in the bad way.
I saw a full-length picture of her again, and… no. No changes in her weight again 😀 So I don’t know what the hell did she do with those weights when she sent that picture. Actually, I think she has got more weight.
An other thing is that she often boasts with her achievements. For example, she managed to get invited to a festival as a vip, and she says this in a really annoying way. However, I still find chatting with her good and fun, which is strange. It seems like that these annoying and bad-factor things don’t bother me as much as they did, but I don’t know why.
My status is still the same: if there was a chance to get back together, I would consider it, and most likely I would get back with her, but if I got to know that there are absolutely no chance, it would hurt like hell, and I would be really depressed.
Actually, recently two things are going through my mind over and over about this whole “ex-thing”: the story of my sister and the things that I’ve talked about with the other girl. It’s really upsetting to see that after 7-8 months she still suffers. Her suffering period is longer than the relationship itself! And I fear that the same will happen to me.Some bad news: water got into my phone, so it’s totally unusable 🙁 If all my pictures were lost, I would be extremely depressed. There is so much memory in that phone. And of course, the most important ones are the pictures in connection with my ex. Maybe she is not my girlfriends anymore, but I don’t want to lose these memories.
As I’ve mentioned, nowadays, I have a lot to do, but it has a good side as well: I have less time to think about her. It’s strange , becasue it didn’t always work for me, but this time, it seems like it works, and I really dont’think about her that much. After this busy period, I’ve planned some other changes in my life and in my lifestyle, with which I can get further occupation. For example, I’ve already bought a drawing tablet 😀 It was on sale, and I’ve been wanting one for a long time, so I said, uhm, why not? I’m not really into drawing, but I like to design things and make art stuffs in PhotoShop and other places, so it’s an adjustment in my works. But I’Ll also try drawing with it. So, I’ll definitely occupy myself with it in the first days of the summer 😀
The second round of the writing competition is also coming up, and in connection with writing, I’m also planning to write a novel in the summer.
About sports, I’ve said that I did not really achieve anything with the work out at home – so in the summer, I’m going to swim. Long time ago I did swimming, so that’s why I chose it, it won’t be totally unknown.
Next year, I’ll move to the capital and I want to live in a flat, not in a dorm, and I don’t want to borrow all the money from my parents, that why I’ll attend a summer job (for the first time in my life 😀 ).What you wrote about talking is really true for my case as well. We used to talk about absolutely everything, but know, just common everyday topics on the group chat, and it’s kind of sad to see that :/
How was your day with her? Did you managed to meet with her to at least drink a coffee?
And what about your conversations? Do you still talk with her regularly?
Hope everything is fine between you and your ex!P. S. Sorry for not being active for a long time. When this week ends, there will be only one week left from school, so I’ll definitely have more time to write more often 😀
Huuuuh! I’m back! 😀 Finally, finally, finally, I have time again – and what’s more, it seems that there will be no more very busy periods!
My days were very boring recently. Nothing happened. Just learning, cutting the video, making the webpage, and there was only a slight activity in the group chat.
My ex stopped sending me pictures again. She only sends pictures of her little brother. Usually I don’t like babies and young children (he is 2 years old) but he is a cute on 😀 I remember that my ex told me how he had been saying my name even before I’d met with him. And after I’ve met with him, he was often missing me. I wonder how my ex explained this situation to him.
Tonight, my ex went to bed early, she said (to the group chat) she was in a depressive mood. I wonder why. She sent a song to the chat: it was the song that she also sent to me on the day before the break up.
As far as I know, nothing special happened to her nowadays.
Now that I’m less busy, I’Ll have to think about meetings. I mean, in connection with the group chat, not only in connection with my ex (But she is a part of the group so she will be there as well). One possibility is a party, that I’ve mentioned, and the other is a bigger meeting. The group holds meetings annually to where anyone can go but the community of the party would be a more intimate circle from the group.
Actually, I’m afraid of the annual meeting. It’s a very special event for me. There were only 2 yet, but both of those two days are the best days of my life. And if my ex would be there on the next one, she may spoil it for me, and I really don’t want that!
Actually, that’s way I want the party thing to happen before the bigger meeting. After that, I would know what to expect, and if I think that there are good chances that she will spoil it for me, I’ll try to pick a date when she is busy and she can’t go. I know that’s evil, but… I would rather be evil as hell than spoil this huge occasion 😀About the other girl: I guess she is in a similar situation like mine. She is still suffering, but she is not in love with her ex anymore, however, if her ex would stand next to her saying that he loves her, she would consider a new relationship with him.
Personally, I think I won’t move on from this point from this point where I am right now. Of course, until the meeting with her. Now, I’m stuck in this place since several weeks. I don’t like who she has became, but if a meeting would end up positively, I would consider a reunion with her. And of course, I still feel the pain. Sometimes too much 🙁You’re right, we’re doing a great job here! 😀 It’s better than a diary. I can come here and write out my thought about my ex and my plans. All the other people who I know would be extremely bored If I told all these things to them 😀
You’re lucky that you can gain power from wanting her back. Be determined and self-confident! You have to mediate between keeping up contact and not being too needy, which is a really hard thing to do.
You’re right that your ex is afraid of giving up what she has now – even if she has nothing. She has lost you. You have been the most important thing in her life for more than 1,5 year. Even if she doesn’t love you now, it’s still hard for her to cope with this loss.
Any new happenings since I was away? 😀Sorry, I have absolutely no time 🙁 I’ll come again on the weekend.
Wish you the Best till then! 🙂@Andi Whoah, good to see you there again! 😀
I think you talk too much with your ex about the relationship. Or maybe I’m wrong, but that’s what I got from the description. Be aware that you may annoy her with these questions.
I think that now, she definitely sees that you want her back, and thus she could easily manipulate you. Maybe the things that she told you are not true, but she is so really insecure that she wants you to see thing in that way. I’m sure that deep inside she is considering the relationship with you. Maybe at the moment she would say a strong ‘no’ to it, but I’m pretty sure that you are still special to her and you are on option for her. Well, the word “option” doesn’t sound really well I know, because back in time you were the only one for her, but… eh. You have to cope with it. Actually, it’s a good piece of news that you are still an option!
And why I think that it’s true is that in my opinion she wouldn’t talk to you, or wouldn’t listen to you or wouldn’t willing to meet with you if she was over you or considered you as “100% no”.The firework idea sounds really good! 😀 It will be very romantic. And these kind of romantic events are really good helpers in making the good atmosphere for you.
Recently, I don’t get pictures from my ex. I’m planning to send one to her, and I’ll see what she reacts: starts to send a lot of pictures again or not.
Oh, yes, we had the filming on last Sunday! 😀 I haven’t seen the scenes yet, because I’m waiting for the guy who owns the camera to send the files to me – because like last time, I’ll edit the video. I’m really excited and really looking forward the result! When it will be finished, I’ll send it to the group chat and ask the people there to say their opinion about it.
In these days, I’ve talked a lot with the other girl (who I’ve mentioned a lot) about break up. Both about my case and her case. Actually, it all started when she texted me and asked me how I’m doing after the break up, and how much am I over her. I honestly told her the truth, that it hasn’t really got better for 3 months. I was really surprised, because then she said that she is still suffering as well – after 7 months!!! And her relationship only lasted for 4-5 months, not 7 months like mine, or more than one year like yours. And her situation is very similar to mine – she still thinks about her ex, she is not mad at him, doesn’t hate him or anything, so, it just faded away. But it still hurts for her – which is interesting, because she was the one who broke up! Her ex was her very first partner and true love, just like in my case.
She said that according to her idea either very very long time (more than 1 year) can erase the pain, or a new relationship, a new true love, which is at least as strong as the previous. And actually, I think she is right.
It’s so bad that we are so close friends, but we still can’t help out each other really, just discuss things, and still suffer.I think you’re right that the smiley was just some kind of defense. But it was a really awkward situation. At the current point, I wish she wasn’t in the group chat. It’s not only taking pain to me, but she is also becoming more and more irritating to me.
But what’s strange is that despite of becoming more irritating and drifting more apart from me, I still think that we could be a good couple. I don’t know if it’s just from the pain, and it’s only a desire, or it’s really a realistic theory.
I think I have to figure out it with the next step, what I’ve mentioned before. It’s meeting with her. I can see two ways: after the meeting, things will come clear, I’ll know exactly what I want, or everything will be just more messed up. But I’ll take that risk. I just have to find a date with my friend, who would organize the party.The worst thing with this whole recovery after break up thing is the waiting. We have to wait so much to see things clearly, for something new happening. We must have lot of time for lot of things that happens slowly, but the whole world is rushing so fast around us.
P. S. When I started to type this post it was afternoon. Now it’s night, and during that time, I’ve received a new picture from her. It was just a regular picture, showing a coffee and a book, with a text “#chilling”.
P. S. #2: Whoohoo, this is the 100th post in the topic! 😀It’s good to see that you are still there! 😀 I’m looking forward your next update. I hope you will have some time later 🙂
If something new or special will happen in my case, I’ll keep up writing posts.
Actually, today there was a little happening. One person from the group chat asked if us if we are still together. But right in the group chat, in front of the others! It was a little awkward. I don’t replied to that, and she did neither. Instead, I wrote a private message to the girl who asked this question. She knows my ex well, they have been friends since several years. I told her the story of break up, and she said “it’s typical her”. Under that, she means, that it’s due to her lifestyle. I think I’ve never known my ex really really deep inside.
By the time I finished writing here, she replied “nope” with a “:D” smiley. I’ve told you. She is weird.So, In the past few days I got to know that the school project filming stuff will be on this weekend.
On the last weekend, I had very painful feelings again. My problem is not with the presence of the feelings, because it’s totally natural that they exist after a break up, but with the fact that they are still pretty strong after almost 3 months!!! My mood is still swinging. Sometimes I feel that how good it would be if we got back together, but sometimes I think that I should move on. Sometimes I think I’m able to think with a clear mind, and know what would be the best, but then a strong down-period comes and my feelings and thoughts are colliding. And the problem with all these things is that I don’t know what a meeting with her could trigger in me in this unstable state of my mind.
In this week, I’m having a lot to do, so hopefully, I’ll not think of her that much.Strange and weird pictures on Snapchat are still coming. There was one in which she was holding a dumbbell in her hand (the little one, especially for women), and she wrote “Workout-time! :)”. T thought that she has stopped training. I don’t know how seriously she does it. But I checked her some times at Facebook Messenger after I’ve got the picture, and she was active all the time. Either she didn’t take it seriously, or she sent the picture after the workout (however, she didn’t seem like somebody after an exhausting training).
On the group chat, she acts normally now. Not chasing me, and not sending fierce messages. She doesn’t really talks to me at all, just in a basic level. You know, if there’s a group conversation (either in real life or on the internet), you usually say something, at least a few words to every participants.
I think your ex is building walls around herself. She is afraid of a new relationship because she is insecure, and she is insecure because she still doesn’t know whether the break up was a right decision or not. She sees your changes, but she couldn’t really experience them – yet. I think she needs time. And you have to build a safety feeling for her. Her emotions are mixed up. An evidence for it is that what she is doing with the other guy. She sleeps with him, goes to London with him, but nothing more. That’s because she is confused. Honestly, I don’t know if it is right to talk with her or not. Maybe she needs time to stabilize her feelings, but maybe if she talks with you it will make her sure that you’re the right for her. If I were you, I would talk to her, but not too much. And I would be really aware of the “40%-60%” chat rule. It means that you send nearly equal amount of messages to each other. If you send too much, she’ll think that you are too needy, but if you send less she’ll think you don’t care about her. And it’s 40-60, not 50-50 because it’s hard to maintain a conversation if you talk exactly the same amount, because sometimes you have to write more in hope for more reply.
The superficial friendship thing is familiar for me. That’s why I usually separate my two circle of friends. There are people that I meet everyday (schoolmates, people living nearby) with who I have kind of a friendship, but we just always talk about everyday things, or about a certain topic that comes up, nothing deep or personal. That’s why I call it superficial, because they don’t know me really and don’t know my most inner personality. On the other hand, there are the other kind of people: most of them are in the group chat, and maybe they live at the different parts of the country, and maybe we meet not so often, but at least I have a really deep and personal friendship with them. And basically that’s why I’m still planning to move to the capital after high school, even without my ex, because I would be closer to them. In Hungary, quarter of the population lives in the capital and in the surrounding areas, so it’s obvious that some people from that group lives there too.
My thoughts to that girl? Yes, they changed. But only in the level of friendship. I’ve said that she helped me the most after the break up, and when I did the disappearing stuff on Facebook she was the first to call me on phone and she worried about me a lot. So yeah, our friendship obviously became tighter.
She is a really attractive and pretty girl, but I have no romantic or “more than friends” feelings for her 😀Today my ex sent me 2 pictures of her on Snapchat again. I’ve said that on Snapchat you only see a certain picture for some seconds, and if you make a screenshot with your phone, the person who sent the picture will see what you’ve done. And of course, I don’t want my ex to see that I saved the picture what she sent. However, today, I’ve found a solution: I grabbed my old phone, and when I opened the picture, I immediately took a photo of the picture with its camera 😀
In in the last post I’ve told you that I was bout to go to the filming yesterday… Well, we did not manage to organize it very well, so there was nothing. It is postponed to the weekend. But today was the last day of the break, and on weekend I’ll have to learn a lot. I have so much things to do 🙁 However, I’m not looking forward the summer. There’s no school during almost the whole summer, so I’ll have a lot of free time for sure, but a lot of things were planned to the summer with my ex 🙁 One week long “meeting” without parents, common holiday in Croatia (she would have gone with my family, but we would have had a separate room), and tons of events and other programs.
And unfortunately, I’ll have more time to think about things… I mean in the level of overthinking. There’s more than one month left until the school-free summer break, I know, but considering that after two and a half months I still have really huge down-periods, I just simply can’t expect great things from summer.Huh, it’s a huge advantage that she won’t be with that guy all along 😀 I don’t know what she’s doing with him, but she will be alienated from him after some time.
I myself feel the same. A part of me is missing. I’ve also described this feeling as it’s like I am locked out of a world – out of her world. I got to know her so much. I knew every little part of her and her life.
I have this metaphor from a song lyrics, saying: “There’s a world in her, at the gates of it, the promised land is waiting for you” (not exact translation, but, meh. I used to listen to this song a lot after the break up.)Tomorrow it will be the day of the film shooting for the school project. The idea to make it in these few days came out of the blue, but I’m really looking forward it! 😀 Of course, I’ll send the video to the group, and I’ll send it in a way that my ex will sure watch it! (it sound kind of evil :D).
My ex has just returned from her class trip. She sent a weird picture to the group chat: herself in swimwear. Of course, it’s totally normal to see girls in swimwear, but there are two things: first is that people in that chat usually don’t send these kind of picture there. Actually, most of us do not really send pictures of ourselves at all. The second thing is that last year when I got to know her and during we were together she said several times that she doesn’t want me to see her in swimwear. Because she is shy, not satisfied with herself, etc…
No other comment is needed I think. But seriously, what the hell?!
However, from this picture, I can definitely tell that she is not only unsuccessful at losing weight, but what’s more, she may got more weight. But in the aspect of reconciliation it wouldn’t be a problem for me. As I’ve said, she is not fat, just curvy. And I think I like curvy girls, which might be ironic because I’m thin as hell 😀
Hmm, I looked it up as well, and I have 120k messages with my ex on Facebook.
I think I’m getting out from the down period. It hurts less, but I’m still asking myself “why did her love fade away?”.
The “more than love” thing is very familiar to me. My ex said several times that it’s not only a romance, she loves me and respects me as a person, as a human being, not just as her boyfriend.
I also had to face the problem of cutting. Not me or my ex was the one who used to do this, but my friend, the other girl. Actually, me and the people from the group chat helped her through it. But it was a long time ago, my ex was not part of the community yet.
It just came to my mind that this girl was there at the beginning of the relationship and also at the end of it. She was the first who texted me after the day we got together, and who I told it first, and she was the first who I run to after the break up. That’s why I’m saying why she is so important for me. Maybe it’s better that we did not get involved in a relationship when I was in love with her, because it could have destroyed this strong friendship bond. She is not that kind of only very best friend, because the others (especially other two boys) were always beside me and I could always count on them too, but I don’t know, if I had to decide who is the most important in my life at the moment, I would say her, and on the second and third places there would be those two guys.To be honest, I think I know the next step. I mean, in connection with the “thing” with my ex. And it’s very simple: meet with her.
It might be the best possible way to find out what I want and how I look at her. And how she looks at me! And of course, she will see the New Me for the first time.
But I’m not thinking of a twosome (I hope it’s an existing and appropriate word) meeting: there would be some king of a party. I just have to ask one of my friend to organize it. There was a party at New Year’s Eve at my place, and near the end of it, a boy said that we should repeat this party with the same people at his place. And my ex was there at New Year’s Eve, of course, so she would be invited to this party as well. The question is whether she will accept the invitation or not. She will know that I will be there, so there will be no unwanted surprises. But when a party like thing was mentioned last time in the group chat (1-2 weeks after our break up) she said that she wouldn’t go because of her exams. I don’t know if it was because of her exams, or rather because of me, but she is having less and less exams now, so… I don’t know. Too complicated. But I think if there was a party like this where I can meet with her, it would be the biggest possible step that I could take in the process of getting her back – or deciding whether I really want to get her back or not. Well, considering the whole getting back together process, maybe not the biggest, but since the break up, obviously. Of course, I changed a lot, she saw it in the video, and etc, but these are like just background works. Maybe these had some impact on her – of course they did – and there may have been some changes in our minds and personality, but considering the facts, and the real happenings, nothing changed. By real happenings I mean we are still not together, still not talking to each other, etc.P. S. In the recent days I had lunch at my grandma, and she cooks really well. I managed to reach 66,6 kgs now! 😀
Your ex will be in London for 3 months?! :O Oh my god! That must be worse than I thought. If you decide to visit her, try to somehow avoid to see her with the other guy. According to myself, even the fact that you know that she might be attracted to someone is really cruel and hurts to know, not to talk about seeing her with her new partner.
Yeah, my ex was drunk when she wrote messages to the chat, but these were only some messages, and no one reacted to her 😀 And she was not that drunk that she lost her mind, just… Well, you can tell if someone is at least a little bit drunk, even from chat messages 😀
I don’t know how I should find out her changes. The ones that I already know are not appealing to me. Maybe I know the next step. But I still need time to outline things, and think about my current situation. The last weeks were really busy, so I couldn’t really care about my personal life.So, concerning me, basically, nothing happened since my last post.
My ex is at a two day long class trip right now. I remember that last year when she went to class trip we were already talking constantly, and the day before she was joking “oh, you will miss me sooo much, right?:D”. We’ve known each other for only one or two weeks but actually I really missed her. I’m a kind of shy guy and I’m not so talkative, and she was the very first (and still the only one) person in my life with who I could talk constantly about anything. Now, there’s no one I can talk to anytime about anything, and that’s why I feel like something is missing from my everyday life. Of course I have friends with who I can talk a lot, and tell a lot of things, and also the people from the group chat are the very best friends of mine, but… I think you know what I’m talking about. She was special.
Well, considering how talkative am I, she is exactly the opposite of me: she can talk a lot! I mean… How shall I explain… At a certain context, with some certain people I can be very talkative as well, but she is talkative much more in general, and she can also communicate better in person/in private with a certain person.
She is a great company to anyone. If she was more like the other girls in these days (bitchy clothing, etc:D) she would have tons of suitors.
About the class trip it also came to my mind that last year, my class trip was one month later than hers. We had a really good and close relationship by that time (in a friendship level). I remember that when my roommates got into my nerves I phoned her, and we were talking for half hour. It was a really new thing for me. Before her, I had no one to call in these cases.
The month May was also the time of the start of the night long phone calls. I mean, literally night long. There were some weekends when we talked from night until morning. The record was 8 hours, from 11PM to 7AM. I don’t know how it started, but it was her idea. At first, I thought she just wants to talk for some minutes, only for fun, or as a joke. But as it turned out, not.
These phone calls were so… Hmm, I don’t know the word for it, but I’ll remember them forever. They had such a strange (in a good way) and exotic atmosphere and mood. It was like an exciting adventure.
I was always really afraid that I can’t talk with her that long, because as I’ve mentioned I’m not so talkative, and I feared that the conversation will end awkwardly after some time. But it never happened.
The relationship thing also came up during one of this calls. As I recall, it was around the middle of June, or maybe early June. Her friends told her that she should date with me, and she told me about that, so we mentioned it some times before, like “what if we…”, but it was the very first time we talked about it deeply.
It was around 3 or 4 AM. I don’t know what I said exactly. Something like “if you were my girlfriend”, “if we were dating”, “when we will fall in love” etc. So, I don’t remember the sentence, but I do remember the feeling: when I said that sentence, a strange feeling immediately popped out in my head, and I was like: Oh my God, what the hell, I will be in a relationship with that girl!
Oohh, how I miss those nights and those times! We were so happy and so curious about each other. And now, here we are one year later, and there’s nothing, just a past, and just memories – without any future or present – which are slowly fading away.
I’m really upset now. I have a huge “down” period recently.
The whole thing is like a battlefield in my mind. It feels like my feelings collide. I want to live with her so much, I want to love her again with the “New Me”, but I don’t like her changes, I have doubts concerning the future relationship, and I’m afraid as hell.Huh. I wrote a lot 😀 I felt I have to give out these things. And in the beginning of the post I said nothing happened. Maybe the less happens outside, the more happens inside my mind 😀
Mini update :
She just simply liked the video on Facebook. So, yeah, as I have expected.
It alsó turned out that she went out this night as well. She wrote to the gruop chat when she came home. She said that her ex wanted to make her drunk – however, I think she was drunk in fact. It’s also strange that she used the word ex. Exactly one year before she wrote to the gruop chat that she does not like to use this word in any content. However, she only has one ex beside me. That relationship lasted for only one month and it was several years ago.
To be honest, I dont like what she is becoming. I find her annoying sometimes.(typing from mobile)
Basically, getting feedback (especially positive) from other girls is one of the best thing that can happen to you in these times! 😀
Keep going to parties and events to try to forget her. You have to forget her again, and separate from her. Well, if you want to talk with her, separate from only the romantic and intimate part of her. Whatever, the point is that you need time – again. And she needs time as well. This decision of hers won’t be over in some days (unfortunately :/ ).I’ve said that I have ups and downs with my feelings, and in the recent days I think I have a “down” again. I’m constantly thinking about why was it meant to happen since we were really into each other and we were so committed. So, just the average “tell me why?” questions. However, I know some of the answers: I needed these changes. And to make this changes, I needed private space. And maybe it hurts so much even after two and a half months, but I know that it was the right decision. However I still feel like we would be a great couple and we could live together happily in our small common flat in Budapest.
Hmm. Actually, she does new things, just like me. I’ve mentioned that she went to a concert and how she loves that band. I don’t know how she managed to do it, but she uploaded pictures to Facebook in which she meets personally with the members of the band (and it’s a relatively well-known band in my country).
And I’ve said before that once she was drunk. Actually, it happened again in the recent days. She was kind of boasting with it on a group chat. No one reacted to her. It was kind of awkward.Today the video was published. We want it to be 5 minutes long, but in fact, it’s more than 10 minutes long now 😀
And it’s very successful! The members of the group like it very much, and the other guys with who I filmed it think that the end result is really good. So basically, everybody likes it 😀
My ex haven’t seen it yet. If she watch it today, and gives an outstanding reaction, I’ll write an other post. To be honest, I expect her to ignore it totally.Finally, finally, FINALLY! Some picture of her – and not from Snapchat! On Snapchat I can see the pictures only for some seconds, but now, I can “examine” her 😀
So, okay, the short hair thing was fake. And I can’t even see the highlighted part of her hair in these pictures.
No bad words about her, but she is definitely not successful in losing weight.
She took off all the bracelets from her arm. She had a lot and she loved them! We had a pair of common bracelet which she made for both of us during the time when her parents were very strict and did not allowed the relationship in the beginning. I’m a boy, so I didn’t wear it all the time, only when I met with her, but hers was attached to her arm in a way that she could never take it off – except with scissors. Mehh. I’m curious about what did she do with it after she cut it down. Actually, I don’t know where is mine, but I’m sure that I put it somewhere safe.
When I look at her I don’t feel like I’m going mad for her. But I still find her attractive and pretty. Not in a romantic way – If I saw an unknown random nice girl at the street, I would think the same.Huh, I have time again! We have graduation break at school (I’m not graduating actually, but everybody has some free days now). At first, I’m gonna write the happenings concerning me if you don’t mind (I’ve been taking notes since I was not active)
So, the gamer event happened. Actually, I didn’t take any interviews or videos, but I had a really good time! 😀 I’ve been there for 2 times before and I think it was the best one.
My ex keeps sending me pictures. Actually, yesterday she sent me a video of herself (on Snapchat). It was written that “listen to the sound”, but I watched the video during a lesson so couldn’t listen to it (and I can’t replay the video).
During the week I’ve got more positive feedback for my profile picture and my new look! At school, I talked with a girl. She was in Germany in the past weeks, and she told me that when she saw my new picture she was very tired after the traveling, so she had to blink several times to believe that it’s me – she was really surprised, but in a very good way. Then her friend joined the conversation and she also said positive things. I just can’t describe how happy am I that everybody likes the “New Me”.
There’s only one big thing on which I have to work more: not being skinny. My case is similar to yours. I’m 178cm and 63kg. Even 70kg would be okay for me. However, I’ve got 4-5 kgs since the break up, but you can’t see this on me unfortunately, and I just can’t move ahead from 63kg.
The trailer of the video was very successful in the group. They are very curious and uplifted, and everybody is waiting for the full video. Of course, everybody, except my ex. It seems that she is not interested in it. But I’m sure that in fact she is curious as well.
The premiere of the full video will be on Saturday. I’m really looking forward it, and I want to know what the others think about it. To be honest, I have to say that I’m really satisfied with myself. Of course, the other two guys were amazing too, but I know that they will be, I was afraid because of myself.
It’s a coincidence, but there will be an other film shooting – but this time with some classmates. We have to make a video for a project for media lesson.
I’ve got an other feedback from the girl with who I made the film (the one who I’ve mentioned several times before). The other guy told me that they talked about me, and she said that I seem to be more outgoing and communicative. And as I’ve mentioned, she also complimented my new look when we met.
I’ve noticed something strange. I’ve said that my ex texted me several weeks ago that she has a good idea and she will tell it at midnight (and she did not tell it). Today I opened the conversation with her, and I noticed the “Seen at…” text. And then comes the strange part: the last message was sent on April 14th (it was just a simple “ohm, okay:D” by me), and Facebook says she saw it on April 21th. Of course, she must have seen it before, because you that if you pull down the messages bar on facebook you see the beginning of the last message, and it was a short message, so she saw it all, but for some reason she opened the conversation one week later. Weird.
Oh, It’s May 1st today. I don’t know the exact date when we talked first, but I’m sure that I already knew her by that time last year. Life is strange. You invite a friend of your friend to a competition, just a totally random, average person, you speak with her about the event in an official style, and then, one year later you realize that this random person basically changed your whole life, and gave you the best memories and experiences ever, and now that person is nowhere in your life again. Maybe it’s just me but I always find it interesting to think about these things. Strange.I don’t know what will be the next step, but I’m sure that a chapter ended – concerning my changes. It’s “final line” will be tomorrow, when I publish the video.
Actually, I don’t know if I want to get back with her or not. I don’t know how she has changed. On the group chat, she is very weird and I don’t like her in that way, but she is very stressful in these days because of her language exam and pre-graduating exams. If I want to get back with her, I have to get to know her again. But at this point, I don’t feel like I want to reunite. I don’t say that I don’t want it anyway, but not yet, not now. I don’t know whether it would be a good decision or not. It’s sooo complicated. I want to describe my feelings but I don’t even know how I exactly feel. Anyway, I’ll be open for a restart with her I think.Oh my god 🙁 It’s terrible to hear what happened to you. But why did she played games with you?! I mean, I’m sure it wasn’t an intermediate decision, she must have known it before.
Once when I described my horrible last night with my ex, I said “It was like she stabbed me with a knife, and then rolled it”. To continue this metaphor, in your case it’s like stab with a knife, pull it out, heal the wound, and then stab with a sword instead.
I can’t find words for this. It’s terrible. And I think she exactly knows that you won’t forgive her.
What are your plans? Are you still want to get her back? And will you try again?Sorry, I’ve been extremely busy in these days 🙁
On Friday or on Thursday, I’ll react to your posts and I’ll also tell my news.
Best wishes for you until then!
