Mr. A.

I agree with you on everything! 😉

I know the mood swings you go through. It sucks mate!
One thing is for sure and that’s that she’s not mature enough for a relationship with you and also for a relationship in general I guess. She switches in her attitude so easily, that she won’t be a stable partner for anyone at all at this point. Stick with NC. Maybe in a (few) year(s) she will realise what she has lost. (Except her living wallet! 😛 )

That girl is playing games and doesn’t care about if she hurts other’s feelings. She probably loves both of you or stays with him as a rebound. Stay in NC. As for the bf perspective, I would be insecure as hell cause she is waving red flags all the time. Won’t take long before that guy gets crazy about this or he just simply doesn’t care about her and is OK with it.

@damonator

She broke up 2 months ago. Her reason to do so, if she was honest, was that she no longer loved me like she used to do. She said she was tired of having fights with me. (Though lots of people agreed with me that we almost had no fights at all.. 1 big thing couple of weeks before break up and before that just 2-3 arguements about our view on a specific matter, which werent really that big)

She also said that our personalities are too different, but instead of naming our differences she could only name what we have in common, which was far more than a couple of differences. She also said that I was agressive, which I can be but it is pretty rare, and when I am I only am in the way of my verbal use of words. (Never harmed anyone physicly and I never said hurtful things. She means that I can sometimes just shout at people if they piss me off… Everyone I know says that it is BS that I’m agressive)

She cried a lot during our break up and even as she left she was moving very slowly, still crying, until she vanished from my sight.

Yes, I catch myself checking up on her online, and I know it’s wrong.
Today I finally made the decision to remove all my photo’s and videos in which she/both of us appear from my telephone and transfer them to a locked folder on my computer. (idk why I just cant delete them)

I know you are right about the other girl thing. I’m not the type of guy that goes after a girl and maybe that’s a good or a bad thing. Most of the time I know something is up by just getting this special feeling looking at a girl. (and even then I watch out, sometimes these cuties just use every guy they see)

I know I will survive this since I have done it already before, multiple times. I know that what I need to get over her is time. The painful part is that once it took me over one and a half year to get over a different ex gf. My most recent ex was the only girl in a long line of girls I met (also the only one from all other ex gf) that made me feel in a way of love that makes me ready to take on the whole world just by myself, because she was with me. I just hope I can get over her within a couple of months. Summer is ahead and I want to have lots of fun. (And not feel shit after each night of fun because I couldn’t share it with her or have someone by my side)

The loyalty thing is just not the way I tried to say it so just forget it. I know that she and I have nothing and that both of us cant withhold the other one to see someone else. (though the thought of someone else kissing her or holding her in his arms boils my blood, afterwards it makes me sob)

I know I should do the things she wouldn’t approve of because it can lure her out and confront me.

thanks for your time and your advice.

Some people have to hit rock bottem before they are able to see what they’ve done. When there’s nothing left to hold on to, he will think about his life choices and see that his prime time was with you. It can be though for the both of you, that’s why you probably need the NC so you don’t witness his self destructive (both physicly and personality wise, especially the latter) way of life. It won’t help you get over him, it will only make you feel more down and helpless. Keeping in touch will only bring his misery in your life and the odds that you get anything positive in return at this point is very unlikely to me, considering your story. He knows you are good for him, focus on your own life and improve yourself in any way possible. He will pay attention to you but keep the NC for now, he will see that you are not good to him, but perfect. (Atleast, that’s the thing I hope he would see! 🙂 )

Reading what goes through your mind is like looking in a mirror man!
It’s hard to act like this is not hurting you as much as people would expect, having the urge to seek contact but stressing all the time about making the correct decision. I think that there is no right or wrong here… I’d say stay with NC, but at the same time I wonder what NC will bring you in the end. Your friend was right, if she doesn’t come after you, you atleast already started to move on. If you reach out however, you might have a chance to make her change her mind! (but, for how long?) But you can also crash and burn… destroying your odds. At this point though, I’d say stay with NC.

The other replies pretty much sum up everything I would say.

This is a new chance, dont ruin it by trying to continue from where you left off. Try to see it as a whole new love for now, pretty much like was suggested. As a pretty sensitive and emotional guy I can tell you that this would scare me off pretty much, no offense. You have to deal with your demons and you deserve his support, Just make sure that most of your time together is not about problems!