millionreasons

@patricia12 – I feel cheated right now because even though I want to believe that my attitude was the reason of the breakup, with everything that she’s showing, the real reason is the ex. That’s the part that hurts me, yes, she loved me but she is also still in love with the guy, it was so unfair to me. And I feel so stupid with that. I don’t know what to do. Will I still contact her or not anymore?

@patricia12 – Hi Patricia! I did not go to the concert.

I started to think the whole point of no contact. I got things done for myself earlier today and it feels so good to do everything on my own and love myself. I’m quite okay now but I’m scared when loneliness strikes back again on the situation.

If everything will be okay for me, let’s say a week a two and I’m confident again with myself and I know that I’ve been better. Can I already talk to her or should I go for 1 whole month?

On the back of my mind, I want us to be on good terms and let me show her that I’ve changed and can be friends on or before my birthday which is on the 15th of March because I’m quite scared that there is this chance that when the time I will contact her, it will be too late? What’s your thought about this?

By the way, I told a friend about my situation and I was mind blown by his advice and opinion about it. He told me that I should never think that I was a rebound relationship because I was introduced to the family and her mom really loves me, she even told me that I am still welcome to the family after the breakup. He (my friend) told me that if that was not serious or I am just a rebound, it will never be like that. He told me that yeah, an attitude is a part of our breakup but surely, the ex was making a scene all along and when our relationship started to become blurry, the nostalgic feelings with her ex came back because they’ve been together for 4 years so I was the odd man out. My friend told me as well that if there is a rebound here, its the ex boyfriend because she’s hanging on to those feelings just to be happy, in short she’s running away from the problem and not facing it.

I don’t want to get my hopes high here but somehow I’m a little relieved. Just like what I’ve said earlier I don’t want to ride this feeling of being okay because it will be like hell again if I feel sad.

I need your opinions on everything, Patricia.

Thank you.

@patricia12 – Its quite impossible to bring her guy friend because the concert has reserved seating.

Thats what I’m also thinking, there’s more harm than good. I mean, the chances that she will be there to reconcile and be normal will be closer to none.

@patricia12 – I did not message her or what but I can’t stop stalking her social media accounts. She just posted a picture together with her ex with the caption, why don’t we try again? Haha.

I was on the verge of sending her a message last night because I was so hurt and angry but I did not to because that will break the No Contact Rule and it will show that I’m still immature, dependent and childish.

Do you think she’s just testing me? She posted these things right after telling her that I need the time and space for myself. It hurts so bad to see that.

@patricia12 – That’s what I’m thinking as well that this will improve me but I do hope that there’s still a chance between us. I’m quite excited when the time that will approach her comes.

Yeah, what I’m doing is hard but this is a process. 🙂

@patricia12 – No, I did not give her a timeframe. But I’m planning to do it in a month since my birthday will be on March 15.

I have a question though, why do you think she suddenly unfollowed me on IG and deleted all our pictures together there?

Yes, today will be day 1, what a way to celebrate Valentine’s Day on starting to improve and love myself again. 🙂

@patricia12 – I texted her a while ago about the time and space for my self improvement and wished her all the best on her new work. Surprisingly, she replied, even if it was a simple thank you, I felt happy. 🙂

It’s time to change now, for the better version of myself.

@patrica12 – I told her that I was disappointed because she did not like the idea of it at the first place, why did she even took almost 3 months before telling it to me, that’s how I told her. On our last conversation (the one which I told you that it was our last messages), she told me to accept criticisms and grow up. I’m thinking that I should put it on my text message to her that the things she said were on my mind and I will take that criticisms and change for the better me. She also told me that she really loved me but her feelings for her ex did not change. Quite ironic. But I did know that there is love between us. Should I send her the text as soon as possible? Or should I wait like tomorrow? Valentines?

Another question on my mind is why should I let her know that I’m doing no contact? What I’m thinking about is I’ll be doing no contact then change without telling her. Is that a good idea? What are your thoughts about it?

Thanks, Patricia for your quick response.