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thank you, @patricia12
iam wondering how i can make him miss me and want me back now? obviously there was a connection that night but it was only that one night. he remains quiet and i know he is too proud and stubborn even IN CASE HE DOES MISS ME. when he apologized, that meant a lot to me and i know he has a very hard time. he is this kind of guy who rather suffers alone than approaching anyone. i am very sure he wont contact me – no matter what.
Hello all…. so an update on my situation and once again i am asking for advise/opinion:
its now been like 7 weeks since he broke up with me. he didnt reply when i asked to meet for a coffee so i went quiet again. 2 weeks later i asked him for my money as i needed to pay bills and i needed my money and also wanted a cut between us. he got very upset and send me 2 mean messages. he told me he has moved on and lives abroad in the UK now and wishes me luck. well i do know that he hasnt left his place and still is home, not in the UK. in the meantime i am back working on ship in a manangement position which is a huge step and chance. i have worked on myself a lot – my look and career. i took time for friends and family and i have been good. i do miss my ex every single day. so a few days ago i finished work around midnight and sent him a mail at 1am. just asking how he was. well it took 1min and he replied!! very nice but short and said that he is “having a battle” (i guess inside of him. not sure what he means). he sent a 2nd mail right away not even waiting for my reply and apologized right away for his mails weeks before. we sent about 10 mails back and forth. he always only took 2 or 3min to reply. he called me by my nickname, he also called me babe and sent kisses. he asked where i was and what iam doing. i told him about my job and he seemed very proud and impressed. he knows ship and how hard it is to get the job. he said “well done. i knew you could do it!” he didnt want to talk about himself. i only found out that he had sugery (not because of his insury). he didnt sound happy at all. when i asked about his life in the UK he finished the conversation right away wishing me well and a good night! well… it made my night to hear from him. BUT by his spelling and the time when we talked, i can tell that he had a few drinks again. but he was honest and real. we havent spoken since. no reply to a mail that i sent the next day…. i know his previous injury still challenges him.
iam sure he still needs all his energy and time to find back on track. i do wanna look as strong as iam but i really care about him and would love to be on his side. i still dont care in how many problems he is involved and i know it wont be easy but i wanna find a way to “touch” him again. i dont know how to show him that i am still ready to support him and i am not sure how he feels about me. but obviously there is something considering the way he spoke to me. i wanna continue my life and job. i want him back in a different way than before. now its also about me!
i do wanna give him time now again but how to proceed? what do you all think?
thank you. wishig you all the power and energy to stay strong in those challenging days!
I can not give much of an advice. I would just like to tell you to stay strong and to first concentrate on yourself! How many days/weeks ago did you break up? My ex and i broke up before as well (however, we arent a couple anymore as he decided to move on without me). I think at one point both just deserve the time without the other. Stay calm and dont contact her. focus on your life for a while and do things you have always wanted to do. your ex also deserves some time to figure out her life and feelings. if she involved herself with someone new right away, most probably it is not going to last for long. my ex deeply loved me, too (i believe) but now he doesnt want any contact it seems. iam also trying to leave him alone and to respect his wish of “peace”. i think it shows respect and also that iam still independent and strong! you should do the same for now. give it some time (a month or two). work on yourself. enjoy life and try yo catch up with her in a few weeks. things might just have to calm down.
although, she might be hurt if you broke up with her so often… if i was her, i would be, too! for the future: love can stand above a lot of things. i believe giving up and breaking up in a relationship should be a step you dont just do “in a moment” or out of “a mood”.
😉wow, your message made my day! thank you very much.
well iam not quite sure if he really even misses me and “suffers”. he was very cold to me when he asked me to leave. he said mean things or ignored me when i packed. maybe because he wanted to make it easier for both of us. i will never know. and if he realizes that i was a good gf then he would never reach out to me anyway. he is too proud, unfortunately. he is hard on himself and also he would be scared for sure that we get back to the same point like when we broke up. we did have many arguments during the last weeks/months but it was always stupid stuff and about our circumstances and his way of not being healthy.
i wont contact him again for quite a few weeks. he deserves time to heal and space. thats whats the best. he needs time to figure out his issues and solve them. otherwise he is not the man i know and he is not happy with himself. i also deserve to live and will try to just enjoy life and be happy. i truly truly love him! going my own way will be a great challenge that i look forward too but it will be missing him for sure. whatever i do – he is in my heart and with me. it would be a miracle if he ever makes a serious step towards me again.Thank u very much for your opinion. for sure i cared too much and for sure he feels he cant give me enough as he is only having problems.
well, i do love myself and i do feel great. iam kinda moving on not even making any plans or hope that he will be part of my future. iam going overseas. i do still love him and i will the next months still. i will leave him alone and if he decides to live his life without me, then i will be ok as well. i just feel we both have feelings and he is too scared to let it happen. he has been in so much sh*t. its all just very sad because i know how much we were in love. but how could i ever make him realize? hang in there too! stay strong and chin up!
