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I agree with you,I am so not impressed with his behaviour, I don’t believe he will ever be able to get her out of his life, even if just because of the guilt, and I doubt she’ll ever move on herself. I wouldn’t be able to trust him. So for now I am just going to carry on with my life and hopefully I will meet someone SINGLE, and honest, that is more deserving of my love and affection.
If months down the line he does divorce and stops being in touch with her, we’ll see, but I don’t think it’ll happen anytime soon so I do hope that by then my life will have changed and I will be in a loving relationship with a wonderful man.Yes I will. I feel bad for her as well because had he been honest from the start he would have spared both of us a lot of pain . The mistake we both made was falling in love for the same man, even if their marriage was slowly disintegrating she did not deserve to know he had been unfaithful, and I didn’t deserve to be strung along, reeled back in, pushed away, and pulled back in again, all because he didn’t have the courage to do the right thing by her and by me from the start.
I would have slammed the door and never looked back in December, but I had truly believed we were soulmates, that niggling feeling is still there under all my anger and distrust, I had never felt like that for anyone before, we are perfectly suited for each other in every way, without all this mess…
He has said it a million times too, that we are meant to be together, that he has never felt that way, and that he wants to marry me, have children with me etc. I know, it sounds exactly like all the other cheating married men… But he did leave her (3 times), and he had told her the first time that he had fallen in love for me and couldn’t stay away. She knows about me and suspects he is in contact with me, but he denies as he wants her to accept the marriage was ending regardless of me. Anyway. We’ll see.you are absolutely right, I will never know the truth. They were married 4 years, living in two different countries for 2 of those years, and a year ago he had a couple of one night stands while drunk and then felt terrible about it and tried to work on his marriage (he didn’t tell the wife). Met me beginning of summer, we have the same group of friends and hang out at the same bar, pursued me from the start but I told him I wasn’t interested in a married man, but we’d talk a lot, run into each other often and spoke for hours, until I went on holiday and we realised we couldn’t spend a day without messaging for hours, so we gave in when i got back. 3 months of bliss, of him saying he had never felt so complete and happy, and alternatively guilting over the wife. When I left again for a month i told him to make a decision and when i got back he had left her. Drama and back and forth ensued till I left him beginning of December, broke off al contact for a month, ignored his messages, and when I did answer after a month was to tell him he was a liar and a coward and a cheater and i didn’t want anything to do with him ever again, he answered that we are meant to be together whether I want it or not, and to give him a month to sort things, a month later he messages to say she left for good, that was almost 2 weeks ago. So it’s barely been 2 weeks that he is “separated”. I don’t know how they ended it, if it was amicable or not, I don’t know anything.
I am seeing him tonight, first time in almost 3 months. To talk. I don’t even know how I feel about him anymore, I would like him for once to prove that he is ready to move forward, to file for divorce, but you are right, until he actually does I’ll never know for sure, so I don’t have a choice but to wait and see and not take him back until then.I didn’t want to get involved with a married man, it goes against my morals, but we became friends and as much as I tried to fight it we fell in love, it lasted 3 months, then he told his wife, then back and forth till November when she left and we got back together, till December when he said he needed to be alone and then re-imbarked with her till last week. No children. He says I have been the one he wants to be with and always was, but the wife had a meltdown and has no friends or family so only he could help her through the accepting that it is over. Sounded possible the first two times, is third time a charm or is he just another confused coward not wanting to be alone..
I don’t know, things were so wonderful when we were together, but I have told now I can’t trust him and I don’t feel like he is making any efforts to move forward. Then again it’s hardly been 2 weeks
