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Wow man you’re still trying to get the ex back? It’s been a year!
As for me I’ve moved on and couldn’t be happier.
Everyone that’s going through a fresh break up you must listen and trust what I’m about to say..
1. You can not for any reason continue pursuing your exes if they have decided to end the relationship. This only will push them away and quickly change their perception of you into someone who’s needy, annoying, can’t take a hint etc. basically any and all positive emotions associated with you will quickly be replaced for negative ones and you never want someone especially an ex you’d like back to get the shivers whenever you come to mind.. So please just stop!
2. The ONLY way to have a chance of a reconciliation is to to walk away and leave the door open. This means, the last interaction you have with them about the breakup and listening to the reasons for it (no matter if they’re lies) you simply have to say something along the lines of “ok I see your side but I’m not interested in anything other than a romantic relationship with you. No friends sorry I see you as more. But hey if you change your mind get in touch and if I’m still available by then we can take it from there”
That’s it!! Something along those lines basically stating you don’t want the breakup but accept their decision and politely walk away and never contact them ever again for anything unless they contact you first.
You have to do this whether you want to or not. Do not follow movies where the dumpee pursues and tries over and over again to convince the dumper they made a mistake. People do not operate like the fantasy of movies.
3. Remember this statement “rejection breeds obsession” your ego has taken a hit and this causes you to think the dumper is the most fabulous person on the planet, “the one” even. Your mind is simply in a state of needing that person’s validation. The person who once loved and cared for you deeply, you crave their validation that once seemed so easily available. You must look at things objectively in this emotional state of hurt and rejection.
I do not advocate the advice on this site. You must follow my #2 recommendation and move on with your life. Do not do NC for a set amount of time and then reach out. I promise this only validates the dumper and makes them feel even better about their decision rather than second guessing it by never hearing from you again.
Good luck to all! I made it and I’ve learned from it and you all will too
@archola
Does your ex have issues with being alone? I believe mine did as she wanted me to move in only 3 months into the relationship. I told her a better idea would be to wait a year, which in the end we didn’t even last that long.@Martin
At least she wants to see you. Don’t let the “friends” discourage you. Be your best self. Confident, playful, carefree. Flirt 10% of the time and the rest be genuine.That is if you’re planning to catch up with her.
@t_k
I’m a little confused. You two had planned a vacation? When? If it was when things were good. I’d guess the plans are off at this point. Don’t assume she’ll be there. Especially if you haven’t talked about it since.@t_k
Hey man sorry to hear about your situation.From the info you’ve provided it sounds like you may have been a rebound for this girl. If she was married for 7 years even if her ex was abusive she’ll still have some emotional ties to him and from what I’ve noticed is that abused women deep down enjoy it because they feel they’re never enough for the person and it keeps them attached. It’s a sick psychological fact.
I say your chances are extremely low for a reconciliation because you started pushing for affection in a jealous way. Your best bet is to walk away and never look back and if she ever reaches out you must be cool and calm. No pressuring or trying to talk about how she should be towards you.
