lokal11

Dear Michael,

Your story sounds so eerily similar to mine, even down to how your ex worded your breakup conversation. My ex and I were madly in love for over a year and four months, we were inseparable. But I went to study abroad to South Korea this summer and when I came back, my ex did the same thing yours did: where she said she wanted time and space and wanted to make more memories and experiences without me.

My story most likely has already ended, I’m just holding on because I can’t seem to let myself go. We’ve been broken up for three months now with no communication and nothing tying us together anymore.

But here is what I would do:

Let her control the NC rule. I know that is going to be extremely difficult because all you want is to talk to her, and it is scary to think that she may never contact you again. In all honesty, that is what happened with me. My ex controlled the NC and right before it ended, she texted me saying she didn’t want to get back together with me. But you can’t grovel and beg at her feet right now.

She’s missing you for sure. If she wasn’t, she wouldn’t be drinking or going out with friends every night. You should do the same, but for YOUR benefit, not because you want to make her jealous or make her miss you. Right now, you have to work on you, regardless of what the outcome may be. I’m a firm believer in if people are meant to be in your life, they will come back at some point no matter how far they have traveled. Right now though, she has no idea what she wants, she doesn’t want to lose you, but she can’t seem to make herself commit to you. The best option here is to let her be, and you just focus on things that don’t revolve around her or your relationship. If you two do meet up sometime in the future, then it will show that you worked on yourself. She will see your progress.

But do not do anything rash in order to make her miss you. It will make you look like a jerk, even if she’s doing the same thing. Let her be immature at times and let her act all big and tough. That act will eventually wear off.

As of right now, let the NC rule progress and try your hardest not to break it. Let her come to you, but don’t let her push you around or confuse you. Give her time and space to see what life is like without you there and let her miss you by you just being you. Not by being a jerk.

You got this. I’m more than rooting for you.