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I just want to say that I understand the feeling of wanting someone to show their affection and love for you when they just won’t. I had a boyfriend who by the end of our relationship was constantly doing that. We would get in fights over the same problem. I kept feeling like I had to keep doing things I knew would get his attention and hoping they would be reciprocated in a loving way like he used to do. I just want you to really think hard whether this guy is really worth it. Do you really think you can be happy the rest of your life with a man you have to “push” in order for him to show you love? I compensated myself for a man like that, it tore my self esteem apart and made me change who I was, I tried to change myself into a person or do things I thought he would like better, just so I could feel like he loved me or even just liked me still. The NC period will show you what you really mean to him, by the end of your two months you’ll really know if he’s worth it, but just remember, it’s him that needs to be worth it for you, not how much you are worth it for him. You shouldn’t have to try or ask someone to love you, people deserve so much more than that from their partner. Don’t sacrifice yourself or who you are trying to get a man to show you he loves you.
Ya I’m having such a hard time accepting it because of the distance, especially because distance for us would’ve been over next spring. Did either of you try anything or what you could to get back together? Or did you just accept it from the beginning and are trying to move on? I feel like it’s so hard to follow these online guide things when it’s long distance.
So over the last few days we’ve been in a little contact over texting. It has actually been extremely unfortunate because I had to let him know about a death of a child we both knew, so its not like the conversations have been terribly upbeat and happy in the last two days, so I feel kind of in a rut right now. I don’t know whether to keep talking to him or break it off for a little while and let feelings over this tragedy subside.
The other thing too is, after I texted him the address of the family he said it was good to talk to me the other day, so I responded positively and with a good memory, thanking him about introducing me to a song i heard on the radio the other day. He in turn responded even more upbeat and happy, exclamation points, smiley faces etc. I didn’t respond to this one right away and in a short time he sent another one saying “i cant sleep..are you going to call me?” I freaked out at this one, i said “why would i call you?”, in the morning he responded with “i guess i just needed someone to talk to, sorry for bothering you, have a good rest of your summer.” I have no idea how to turn it around from this now. I told him no he wasn’t bothering me, it just threw me off and i’d like to be able to talk with him also if its not too weird for us. I actually said I wished he could’ve been at the funeral today, it was pretty rough. And the last thing from him was “ya i wish it too.”
So i dont really know where to go after this. With the funeral and everything it’s not like we’re on an upbeat tone right now. Before that it seemed like things were going in the right direction but i dont want to be “too there for him” and make it seem i’ll just call him whenever he needs someone but, given the funeral that might be why he just needed to talk to me since i knew the child too, and now i screwed everything up by not calling him when he needed someone.. Ya, did i screw that up? Cuz now i dont know how to get on a happier level with him again. How should i respond to his last text about the funeral? Or should i drop it now and not talk to him for a bit and try to contact him in a couple days or something? I dont know, any advice???
