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Thank you for the concern. I know I can stay strong and focus more on my own life! She did say she made lots of mistakes after mentioning her accident which made me think she was referring to her dumping me, and I find myself convincing myself that maybe I was too abrupt with her, but I think these are just self-rationalizing thoughts for me wanting to contact her. I told her I’m well and even that we should catch up sometime, and I’m planning on sending her just a quick polite text sometime next week to ask about her condition, so I think I did my part in being receptive, and should leave it to her now. In the meantime, I think I’m gonna go get a job!
Thank you mr_the_ex for your input! I’ve honestly been having a bit of a tough week because it almost feels like I’m back to square one on not trying to think about my ex. I refrained myself from contacting her since Monday after just asking how her concussion is and telling her to take care of herself, and I think that was probably the right thing to do.
To simply put it, my question is.. should I reach out to her and meet up with her to try to make things work again? since I feel I have done much to better myself, and have gotten rid of what I believed was the main culprit of the breakup, OR, should I wait a bit more for her to reach out to me since the contact earlier may have just been ‘breadcrumbs’ as people seem to call it. I’m confused with my feelings since the whole point of no contact was to eventually get back into contact, but now that she called me, I’m not sure if that’s the right move.
To be completely honest, I think what Patricia said about how things are too early and we both need more time to figure things out for ourselves is right, as I have found myself very occupied with this all week (more than I should be I must admit), but I guess her getting back in touch has just really riled up my emotions. Please be (brutally) honest with me, as I think I know getting my emotions back on track is more important, but all I can seem to think about is when I should meet up with her. Maybe I just need a word of encouragement just to stay stronger.
Thank you!
Thank you so much Patricia for the great advice. I think I was being a little too defensive and selfish for some reason.. I guess this turn of events has made it more difficult for me to keep my thoughts of this. It especially pains me to leave her like this, since in truth I would love to do everything in my power to care for her. But you are right that we both have things to accomplish! I will keep my focus on myself and getting a job and check in on her time to time. It’s been 26 days since I’ve touched pot, and the only withdrawals I feel is some nightmares here and there but I’m mostly good. Thank you for asking! It means a great deal 🙂 I’ll post an update in the future!
I just wanted to follow up with the post, as my ex contacted me two days ago. She called me and I found out that she’s in a really bad spot… She got a pretty bad concussion a few days before, and was fired from her job because of her poor performance and sounded like she was not doing well at all. It sort of took me aback, but I did my best to comfort her. She still sounded out of it and she told me herself she couldn’t concentrate that well, so after talking for about half an hour I told her we should talk later.
For some reason, despite all my intentions of wanting to reconcile with her, I couldn’t help myself from thinking that she was just reaching out to me because she was in a bad place, and just wanted me to comfort her. I kept thinking this yesterday, and it was to the point where I was getting slightly annoyed. But today I realized this is sort of weird, considering how I’ve been wanting to reach out to her. While we talked, she did ask about how I was doing and I honestly felt a bit hopeful, but those skeptical feelings kept overwhelming me yesterday. Do you guys think this is just me trying to stop myself from getting hopeful and being disappointed again? Could this mean maybe I’m still not comfortable with myself without her and I need more time to myself? I guess I just don’t want to end up being her friend..
For now, I’m thinking of just being considerate,and reaching out to her time to time, while keeping my own life intact. I guess I’m just a bit confused about my own feelings. Any input would be greatly appreciated!
Thank you for your reply Patricia! My parents live abroad and I live with my brother, and I was able to get another car with the money from insurance. I quit the day of the breakup so it’s been about 24 days. I think it completely makes sense that she can’t trust me with this anymore, and as you said, I won’t let that stop me from keep improving myself. In all honesty, I’m enjoying my new self, and have been considering going on dates with new people as well. I still get dreams that make me miss her, as part of withdrawal is vivid and emotional dreams, but I think I’m feeling less and less emotionally attached to this matter.
She is actually a non-text kind of person, so maybe a call would work better. I think I’ll take some more time to myself until I’m more detached from this so that I will be more outcome-independent. I’m hoping I can genuinely apologize to her for how I treated her without secretly wanting her back.
