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Thanks for the replies. I will stay in no contact just as you both advised – especially that I changed my mind about certain things.
Having been broken up and blocked everywhere was a sort of a blessing in disguise. I realized that my ex had actually abused my trust and lied to me for the whole time. In my country, losing one’s virginity is a big deal. While you won’t get killed for having premarital sex, it makes finding a future husband more difficult – the guys just prefer a “pure” bride. He knew about it, assured me that he thinks of me seriously so that I agree to sleep with him, and yet he decided to disappear the very moment things started to actually get serious (I was about to move to his country for good). I am already “ruined” for my countrymen but at least I don’t waste more time with a man like him. Hopefully, I can still go abroad once I’m done with university and still build my life. Alone.
Asking her constantly to take you back isn’t going to work, and if she says such things, it means she is unsure and she sees something is not working properly still. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have doubts.
Also, keep in your mind that NC is not only waiting for her to talk to you again. You must fix the problems and work on yourself before trying to get together, otherwise nothing really changes and even if she somehow decides to take you back, you’ll find yourself in square one sooner or later.
I keep my fingers crossed for you, man! NC is very hard but you can do it.
