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I know what you are going through. I am sitting here with a resignation letter and a job that will take me to my ex’s city, but alone. I have to see it as a fresh start, which is what I need, but I am also yearning for things not to be over. I read yesterday that it takes half the amount of time that you were in a relationship to get over it – so that’s 3 years for me!!!
The hardest part for me is that she does not appear to share any of this grief, how can that be? I had a tough night last night, ups and downs, but just need to press on. No contact from her and none expected.
Time to toughen up and face the future. Fortune favors the bold etc. I think your actions will have a positive impact if it helps. You have done the right thing and I really hope it works out for you.
Listen, the contact from her is encouraging, use it to feel better and relax. You are going to Dubai, she knows the score and appears to be reciprocating a certain amount of interest. If you become more confident, or can even feign confidence, it will make you more attractive. Honestly, think more of yourself as this girl appears to think something of you to be contacting you from a middle of a Hen party!
Hi JBurg, she is hoping/expecting you to Skype before you go and you are starting to build some ground here. I would advise to NOT Skype – this is something you can do from your new location and the lack of expected Skype will, I think, have a good effect on her.
Exactly what my sis told me 🙂
I’d been to a big party and was hungover (the first time I have had a real drink since the split), so didn’t have my wits about me – damn it!!
Baz, I am same as you. No attempt to be nice, mugging me off and making me feel low, for absolutely no reason. How long were you with your ex? I had a msg from mine 8.30 Sunday morning asking if I was in her city, I replied that I was due to be there Monday – and heard nothing since. I don’t need that, and it is just rude not to respond after opening a conversation. My reply will be a bit more direct next time!
Just get on with your life and try not to think about it. She clearly wants to keep you hanging on but not give you the commitment of a relationship. It’s up to you, what you are willing to take, but I wonder if the friendship is making it better or worse.
Jburg, try to cool off your responses now. Start to create some distance for yourself. As ty10 states, if she wants to fill the void, she can.
I guess the most important thing is that you are in a good place, and it sounds like you can contact her without prejudice. This can only be good, but be cool. Don’t mess it up with a flood of emotion.
HArd to say Jburg, I think either approach will work now so go with your gut, but don’t be going for FF just because it helps you keep in touch. Think hard. I feel for you mate, I have bad days too, I Was feeling good today but had a really hard pang a short time ago. Just got to take it as part of the process, it does get better.
Glad you had a nice evening JB. I am a bit frustrated with her, she clearly has feelings for you but is not working on things with you, just like mine. So many people not working on things anymore grrr. Time will be a great healer here I think, but hanging on to anything now is not going to do you any good. I think you’ve done yourself no harm here, take comfort in the fact that you have shown yourself to be a decent caring guy. That will speak many more words with her than anything else. Now let time do its thing
Jb, my ex def resisted any face to face meeting too. And I also now face moving to a new city (hers) but not with her or to be with her. I am sure there will be lonely moments but I am determined to get on and succeed, I am sure you will too. I like the fact that you refused to apologise for being you, good move.
Live and learn Jb, I’m 43 and still fucking up! Man to be 32 again, you got plenty of time 🙂
I am glad you are seeing her, that makes things ten times better. Make sure you get whatever you need off your chest, it’s not about saving face now. My solace came once I knew I had done everything. I have no idea what the outcome will be but it sounds like it will be a nice meet up, good luck
In fairness to her she doesn’t want you feeling resentful and it leaves the door open. Do your own thing, now clearly isn’t the time for you both. It may never be again, but through the silence she has been thinking about what is best for you both and concluded that now is not good.
Having been split up for 3 months now, a new thought came to me last night. After over 6 years together my ex never contacted my family, wrote a letter to my parents, nothing. I went over to the States for 6 months on my own and she stayed at my house so became very close with my family. My parents took her as their own. I have never had a decent reason for the split either, no letter, no heart to heart. She just finished and walked away.
Maybe this is cleaner, may be it makes it easier. I don’t know, its just that I see everyone else being a lot more thoughtful to each other.
