Anna

I can talk only from my point of view since the women are not all the same.
If I loved a man who did hurt me somehow and then I decided that there is no point of being with him, I would ‘run’ and try to forget him. Here I need to explain that there is a huge difference to how I would do it in different situations. I say that because I have gone through this unfortunately several times and when I look back it has always been different.
In your case, I think there is still a chance and as I already wrote, it all depends on you.
I had a very similar relationship to yours however it wasn’t me who was insisting on a marriage, but my parents. I left the guy, I was very young and got tired of being told that if he doesn’t want to marry me so he doesn’t love me. When I broke up with him, he suddenly proposed but I said no, since it looked like he was forced to do it. When I said ‘no’ however I didn’t mean that I wouldn’t change my mind if he’d made ENOUGH effort to convince me. I also told him that I was going to marry a man who has been chasing me for years. My boyfriend didn’t do much to stop me. And I don’t regret that I broke up 3 years of relationship, because he really didn’t deserve my love.

What she feels now I think is very similar to what I did at the time. She is upset, she feels betrayed, she doesn’t believe in love, she needs to be convinced. As you said she doesn’t trust you, because like in my case, you changed your mind after she broke up with you. She is simply sad about it. If she tells you ‘yes’ then she would always feel like she has forced you.
That’s why I told you to start fresh. No mentioning about marriage. I don’t know how you would do it. I personally think that emails are not enough. She needs to see you face to face.
Also I don’t understand why people think that if they don’t contact their ex for months, their ex will wait for them forever? Maybe, but not me.
That’s why I think is important for men to show their feelings. I know that we live in modern century, but come on, it has been for more centuries the fact that the men are the hunters.

No, she has not lost attraction because you have shown needy. Don’t be afraid to talk to her. She seems now punishing you, but you see, you have deserved it.
Show her that you have not given up on her and don’t let her go, she needs to know exactly how much you are prepared to do for her. She needs to know how deeply you want her so she would be able to overcome the past and the shame that she was the one asking you for commitment.
You need to accept that you are being just punished, believe me, it’s not rejection, it is a revenge.