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Yeah, if your anger was really a big problem in your relationship you will score big points later on by going to some anger management class.
Also: dont forget your looks. This is a very easy way to make a very noticable change. New haircut, teeth whitening and a new style.Agree with @atedeschi93
Make yourself the first priority. Your ex and this guy should always be tha last priority. How will obsessing over them benefit you?
They are in the honeymoon phase right now. Every relationship/fling/date will seem perfect at this stage. And there is no way you can compete with the honeymoon phase.
Continue your NC and work on yourself. So when the honeymoon phase dies, you will look like the better choice.
You said you had anger issues: go work on that!
Join a gym, now clothes/style, new haircut, whiter teeths, new perfume, new hobby, new cool friends ect… There is a ton of things you can do.Or…..
When her honeymoon phase is over and she will start to question herself, she will look at you and see the same slob that she left. It is up to you.She will be comparing her new relationship to your old relationship in every way. You just have to appear as the better choice.
Do you think he is a better choice for her?
Dont just sit around and wait for her. Work on yourself, improve and become a become a better person untill you are a better choice than he is.Hi my friend. I found this article and found it very helpfull when I was at the same stage as you are right now. You should read it, I think it will give you a better understanding of why your ex behaves the way she does:
Update from the weekend
So she was in town, and I tried to run into her at the gym. We always workout at the same time. But she moved it to later in the day for some reason, so we didnt meet.She posted a few times on her Instagram this weekend. First one about how much she enjoyed spending time with her family but “still misses the sweet guy at home”
And again today about how she had a good weekend, but now looking forward to going home to “a person I miss very much”…I took your advice
I went out on Sunday to a very nice resturant with some good friends. I postet a pictures on Instagram to show it, and wrote something about how this was great after a good workout. I did not mention who I was with.
She was the first to like it.When I got home I looked at her Instagram profile. There was a post about something that is going on with her fitness career. Something I know means a lot to her. There was no mention of “the sweet guy” in this post. So i liked it.
This is the first time I have reacted to any of her likes. Lets see what happends.Real or fake
I keep wondering about this guy. Is there really a guy?
I have been looking over her posts on both her Instagram, her FB fan page and her personal FB profile. As you might already know she is very active on social medias. And normally when you date someone you interract online. Like all eachothers posts, comments on them ect.
However: I could not find any guys on any of her posts anywhere…
The only guys that likes/comments are guys in a relationship or guys that she would never be interrested in (kids at age 12 or men aged 50+)This is very strange if you ask me.
After thinking a lot about it and talking to a good female friend of mine we think that:a) This is very new and in no way serious. The 2 times she mentioned him during this week migth just have been their first and second meeting. She is just showing of on Instagram. This is because she needs some attention and to feel cared for, but also to tell me “Hey look, you are not the only one who can move on!
b) This is 100% fake, just to push my buttons. Maybe to get an reaction from me. Or again: to tell me that I am not the only one who can move on. However if it is fake I would say it is not only very childish, but also very pathetic.
What do you think?
Yes, keep NC. Dont keep track of the time. 1,5 months is not enough. Nothing will happend before 3-6 months. In some cases even 12
It is very normal my friend. They are on a high right now, and there is also alot of presure on them to show the world (and you) that they are strong and not effected by the break up.
Dont mind it (easier said then done) but she will change back when months have passed by, and be more “normal”It is explained very well in the articles on this site. No Contact to make them forget the negatives and remember the possitives.
Dont worry about her, worry about yourself.
Keep NC, work on yourself. Improve and become a better, happier person. One that woman will love to be with.Sorry. To answer your question:
Yes I have. I have done it all. Ive been on a few dates, not kissing or sex. I did friends with benefits, sex dates, and recently I dated a girl (3 dates)… We only kissed, nothing else. So yes, I have done it all…So….
I made a post on Instagram yesterday. Just my new fitness nutrition. Again a like from her. I know this may sound silly, but this “her liking my post, me not liking back” gives me a strange feeling of control/power.
I am still wondering about this “date” she had. Was it a bluff? Was this the very first time she had someone since our break up? All the other times I suspected her of dating she never made any posts about it. Why now?
Part of me also wants to know who it is. I want to know if she has up- or downgraded hahaPlan
So I just found out that she is in town this weekend.
I am gonna do what I did the last time I meet her. Be as charming as possible, keep good eye contact and flirt.
The last time I did that it went very well. She was always the one that came over to start the conversations, she smiled alot when our eyes meet, her happieness seemed very fake like it was an act, she constantly talked and sounded very nervous. And she started texting me the days after.
And finally: there has been many reasons for her to come to town since our last meeting (2 months ago) but every time she has stayed away.I could be wrong, but I think I am doing good with our face to face meetings. So I am going to keep on doing it. After this weekend I gotta find some other ways to meet her. 2 months between each meeting is to long. Asking her out is to soon. Especially if she is dating.
Not especially your situration. I am saying your situration is normal, and you have as big a chance as anyone else. Dont let her rebound and new-found happieness fool you.
After 2-3 months her “high” will wear of, and the happieness will start to fade.
I know you are hurting right now. Boy do I remember the first 3 months of my break up. It is an awefull time.
The best you can do is stick to NC and ignore… Not only is it the best strategy to win a person back, but it is also the most healthy for you. Sitting around wondering about her every action, every day, can drive you insane…She is at the honeymoon stage of her new relationship. Everthing is going to look so perfect and happy for the next 2-3 months. Dont chase her or anything, you cannot compete with the honeymoon stage. Let it die on its own.
I cant guarantee you will get her back. I can only tell you that this is a very normal pattern, and your reactions are also very normal.
You are doing great by staying in NC and not showing her that this bothers you.Remember: it is when you say nothing at all, that you make the loudest voice
Take the high road my friend. Ignore her…
There is clearly a lot of feelings there, and she is clearly hurting. And yes: it is very immature of her.
I would have loved for my ex to show this kind of emotions when we broke up.Guys, we are getting a bit off topic here 🙂
But trust me, I have been where you are now. I know excatly how it feels. Dont mind that she is not likeing your posts. She is doing her own thing now. I cant even begin to describe how terrible I felt the first 3 months of our break up, because my ex would like a ton of pictures from a lot of different guys. All shirtsless fitness guys that lived in the same city as her. But the table has turned now. Just because I sticked to the NC.
Now she is slowly beginning to like my posts (50% of them) and I am not giving her a single like back. It gives me a feeling of having power/control. I hope that she now feels what I felt back then 🙂 It is just a like, but it can hurt anyway.And as for unfriending: dont mind it. At least she is not indifferent.
Remember: the opposite of love is NOT hate, anger, bitterness or resentment.
The opposite of love is indifference!
