Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
I will be blunt, so if that will upset you, don’t read my reply.
This situation is toxic. She doesn’t respect you by pursuing your best friend, and your best friend is a bad friend by allowing it, point blank. If those two are meant to be, then the respectful course of action would be to give you a little bit of time to recover before publicizing any part of their relationship. So I would say stop pursuing her. Of course, maybe I’m missing something, but I would just say she’s a negative influence for you right now; she cannot help you grow as your girlfriend should.
I’m blunt. If you don’t want bad news, don’t read.
One can miss you without desiring a relationship. I would not take that in itself as any sort of sign of reconciliation. If he wanted to be with you again, it would be important for him to tell you that he misses you himself. Everyone is sad after a break up, but that doesn’t mean it’s not still a break up.
I’m the bearer of bad news, so if you don’t want that, don’t read.
Remember, partnerships must help each other grow. With your current mental state, and your negative response to her initial qualms, she clearly could not do that for you. Either she could not sufficiently help you, or you could not accept it, but from what I’m reading, I suspect the former. As a woman, if she asks for space, and you don’t give it, then she should leave, or make you leave, and get that space. She needs to show you when the relationship is in danger that it is in danger. This is not to say she did anything wrong, only that she was not ready to help you grow in a relationship. With the snooping, you’ll need to give her at least several months to forgive and forget, but I personally would need at least a year. That’s why I say you should move on, for now. If it’s meant to be, you will cross paths again. Leave your stuff at her place though, unless you have essentials. You have burned the bridge to returning unless you actually have to. Focus on yourself! Sounds like you need it, and it’s always good, and may teach you to be happy without her!
It’s clear that when you two are emotional, your communication suffers. I think you are both in rough emotional places, so given time, it wouldn’t be crazy to get back together. But you need time. You will need at least a month of no contact, maybe more. Right now, your emotions run high, the love seems exciting, but it’s passionate, it’s a chase. Is it logical? On her side, she sees you as a source of instability for her. She broke up with you in a fit of depression, and when she needed space to realize the rashness of the decision, you pursued, allowing her to attribute that depression to you. You clearly both have strong feelings for each other, but also strong feelings against each other. Give it at least a month, enough time that you are certain you can talk to her without unwanted emotion. Then, text her and check up on her about her health in a kind, friendly way. Please wait though. I know how awfully hard it is, but it’s the only way in this situation. I’ve been in her position, I’m a girl with OCD and depression, and I probably understand her side pretty well.
