Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
@ericson I don’t know if you read one of the latest emails but it seems even though everything seems good with your ex right now she’s probably trying to remain consistent and staying broken up because she doesn’t want to believe the break up was a mistake. hopefully the next email says something insighftul for your situation.
@Sandorph , thank you so much. I think I’m going to ask her for the address because I want to write a more personalized letter, I think my ex will be very impressed. And I have a great relationship with her mom, she always wanted us to get married and even if it may be a joke, she’s always really liked me and I’ve always really liked her. She’s treated me as her own and I can’t say any of the relationship was fabricated or falsified because of the interactions we’ve had while my ex wasn’t there..
@Sandorph , your comment was much appreciated. thank you for the encouragement. if you don’t mind me asking, with those 3 exes int he past who broke up with who and why did you say no to getting back with them? with this ex would you say no to her? and if you wouldn’t, why not?
since i feel such a strong connection with her and still for some reason feel like i have a really good chance if i keep doing things for myself and moving forward it’s so hard for me to not visualize things in a certain way even if logically i know that will not help me and that it may not even go the way i want it to. but the fact she still keeps me so close, not blocking me on any social media, reaching out herself a few times and just wanting to be close in the future gives me so much hope that may be detrimental for letting go mentally. does that make sense? i don’t know how i’ll feel in a month but i know that on may 4th or 5th i want to send her a letter regardless of where i’m at mentally. i’m sure i’ll be much happier but i don’t know if i’ll feel any less invested in this situation. i’m trying to make some dates with other women but it’s not going so well. fuck okcupid. i would care so much less if had something concrete from her whether it be what she’s feeling or if we were to have another chance, when that would be. but i know i may not get any of that.
@ericson she seems to be missing you a lot even if she won’t say it. She seems to be struggling and missing you a lot. i’m not one to predict the future but in a perfect world if you still keep playing your cards right i don’t see why she wouldn’t want to be with you again. it’s a matter of her feeling herself like she wants to be with you though, not that she needs to be convinced, you know? the only problem i see being which could apply to anyone’s situation is if they’re strong willed enough they could just want to keep the relationship in the past for the sole reason that they don’t want to go back on what they said. i really don’t know how’d i’d react if i were in her situation though. it’s a tough call. just keep doing you and maybe making yourself less available to her in terms of saying you miss her and whatnot.so in closing, @Sandorph & @ericson besides the questions i asked in the post above i have a few more. i am going to send her a letter in a little less than a months time. she’s in washington dc for an internship living somewhere she’s never lived before. would you suggest emailing her out of convenience and staying far from her life or should i ask her mom for her new address? should i tell her mom not to tell my ex that i saw her or does it not matter? and what should i put in the letter/email when i send it?
@ericson thank you for your response. i feel lucky having someone who has been in my position before.
since this I posted this she reached out to me verbally and we spoke briefly with not much feeling. Then she reached out again but I didn’t respond in fear of making myself too available. Then she reached out saying we shouldn’t speak even though it was my plan from the get go. It got more emotionally intense because it felt like old times briefly. There were a lot of intense emotions from both sides and I felt like I pushed her away a bit but she said the same thing to me she said when we originally broke up that she is confused and doesn’t understand her feeling yet still? I feel like being the subject of what caused her pain I know what she is feeling and know what I have to do so that she doesn’t have to feel that way again if we ever do get back together.
I asked her to tell me she didn’t love me or that she wasn’t in love with me or that there was no chance in the future again but she still refused I guess because that’s not the way she genuinely felt? At least I hope and once again it still left me with a bit of hope. So we aren’t speaking again and I can see it being much longer than the foreseeable future this time cuz she finally got it through her thick self that it was something that needed to happen from the get go. I think in 4-6 weeks I will send her a letter that I expect no response to but I just want to send it as a positive gesture regardless and to let her sit on it.
She definitely was using me as an emotional crutch though. I had said to her that she is getting what she wants, she gets to have the parts of me she wants without being with me.
How is it going with your situation, do you see hope or is it still too early to tell? How long have you been with her and how long have you guys been broken up? For reference we’ve been seeing each other sans relationship for over 3 years, in a relationship for almost 2. we’ve been broken up for 2ish weeks now.
