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alright.. it’s update time 😀
so.. what happened today?
I kept talking with my ex and i told her that i found a shirt that she left at my place. She told me that she was already looking for it and before that we said that we’ll meet up after her birthday. I asked her at first if she wants me to have her at her place directly at her B-day but we decided that it might get awkward and she doesn’t want any kind of stress at ber b-day – wich i totaly understand. so we decided i come to her the weekend after. wich is not perfect but still great! 🙂oh and about that t-shirt… i grew some balls and told her that i felt really lucky to find it because it still has her perfume on it and that i just love the smell. somehow in english the word “smell” is always kinda in context with a “bad smell” but i guess you know what i mean.. 😀
then i asked if she still has a shirt of mine and if she “uses” it (i used to leave a shirt at her place so she can also smell “me” when i was gone) and she said yes :))
so i know for a FACT she still misses me a lot! 🙂
i did tell her that i miss her and her whole body and smell and literally everything.. blah blah blah.. long story short, we meet up as i said and i’m even going to stay at her place and not a hotel. We said i’ll stay for one night but.. you know… i think i’m not going to buy a return ticket for that day beforehand but will see how things turn out 😉
sadly i put a little to much pressure on her and since she already has quite some pressure on her because of her friends (all of them want to do stuff with her and hang out etc.) she went offline and said that she’ll come back as soon as she’s feeling better again. but she also told me that it wasn’t mainly my fault wich is quite good but still i’m a bit angry at myself that i went a little too far :I oh well i guess that just happens and i have to deal with it.
i think i’ll get her a funny present not a “i-love-you-so-much-pls-be-my-wife-till-eternity-present” 😀good that there is something happening! 🙂
i personally would try to ask her how she feels and thinks about the breakup but if you want to keep NC thats also fine if you think thats the better 🙂
are you going to some places (like she does) ?
i think she goes to all those place to get something else in her mind but you! so i guess she also still misses you but maybe i am wrong since i dont know sooo much about her and the relationship :I
try to ask her what she meant with it but not like “did you talk about our breakup?” but like “what did you meant with that? i didn’t quite understand it” so even if she didn’t meant you breakup she won’t be as suspicious 🙂
and about the “I’m fine …” from her it might just be her protecting herself from her feelings.. but again.. i might be wrong :I
i think we sometimes have to bite the bullet to move forward even if it might hurt us! there is just no other way to find out what’s going on i guess..keep me updated! 🙂
…………….
this talking about smelling the other persons clothes is so weird to talk about in english because it sounds so fucked up.. 😀 i hope you understand what i mean and not think i’m a retard ^^
alright.. i think there is nothing else to tell for now..
gonna grab her shirt now again and feel close to her again like it never changed.. </3 …my heart’s melting away along with my brain while doing it… a significant other IS a drug for you and i dont want it to be any different – ever <3yeah right.. man what would i give for one of those right now… the thought of it melts my brain, my heart and the rest of my body aswell.. 😮
i fucked up the first kiss sooooooooooooo bad 😀
she went to visit me that day and before she went in to the bus to go to her grandparents she was like “you had quite a lot of opportunities but you didn’t kiss me. i guess you just didn’t want to.” so i grabbed her and kissed her but not like the kisses you see in the movies. that must have been the shortest and most awkward kiss ever in human history. probably even the dinosaurs kissed better than me that day :’D
well.. in the end i kissed her and that’s what matters .. right …right?! 😀
we stayed at a hotel for a few nights together after that evening and well… you know what guys and girls do at night.. in a hotel.. or everywhere else when they are alone and interested in each other! 😀
and yeah.. we got together.. 😀I decided to stop NC since i have good conversations with my ex and she noticed how i changed. She is kinda mad at me because i wasn’t able to do so during the relationship but hey.. it was my first one and that’s just something you learn by making mistakes. she told me that she is still not over me and i told her that i am not over her.
i somehow have to light the flame in her heart again by doing something and not by not having contact. and also -as this websites tells- i have to keep her!! 🙂
right now i feel like that if i keep doing what i now enjoys and what she also likes in me my chances might be quite good. meeting her will be quite difficult though because i dont want to suprise her out of nowhere since that might make her angry or sad or idk what and we definetly dont want that to happen ^^
so i hope that she’ll have some time to meet up after her birthday and i’ll hope for the best 🙂
and since i have birthday on may 17th i hope that i get her back before that day..but i’m still thinking about what to do on her birthday though.. because i dont want to push her to do something so sending roses or something like that would be to much i think but not giving her anything seems a little rude and maybe she thinks that she isn’t worth a lot to me… argh… so many options and so little correct answers ^^
Yeah.. well.. it’s a bit weird because we are talking like there was no breakup and there is nothing bad between us. But obviously we both know there is..
So going back to NC is the right decision? Because actually we were thinking about meeting up around easter to talk and do some stuff together :I
I had to go to the hospital today because of severe chest pain but the docs didn’t find anything.. I’m afraid it’s because of her and it’s just phantom pains (correct? ^^)
Well i guess i messed up then because i told her what i was doing (kind of) because she was about to cut the contact since i was so cold and not-interested in her..
Maybe I’m totally wrong but i feel like NC isn’t the right thing to do but maybe I’m just afraid..
We both said that we miss each other but she said that there is just not enough love for me in her for a relationship. Thats why i wanted to meet her for a few days to do the stuff together that we enjoy and have fun doing and have lot of fun and go for an intimate moment to i dont know.. hug her from behind at her favorite place at a lake in the sun, tell her how i miss this feeling and ask her how she feels about this right now and what she thinks about what we are going to do in the upcoming days and weeks.
hopeless romantic? maybe.. 😀
@Ly88
hey 🙂my ex never wanted to have a ldr so i had to fight REALLY hard but it was only possible since we were able to see each other every 2-3 weeks by traveling 8 hours by train or sometimes we went by plane. If we had such a huge distance between us it wouldn’t have worked out for us but you have the advantage that you were together for 5 years already.. we started as a ldr ^^
we enjoyed having the free space in between our “meetings” (?) and also that feeling you get when you haven’t seen your significant Other for a that time.. it’s just.. wow… every first kiss at the trainstation felt nearly as special as the very first kiss when we got together! 🙂
i guess the problems of a ldr are quite obvious and i think we already talked about them above. so i think it’s a bit unnecessary to list them? ^^
I’ll do so if you really want me to but.. yeah .. 😀oh and i was together with my ex for 1,5 years. Before that we were long-distance-friends for half a year 😀
Nice that you wrote again 🙂
now.. uhm.. hm.. how shall i explain.. well.. i unblocked her and asked her if she wrote me anything in the meantime. she said no (although i knew she did) and we just talked a little. i kept my emotions for myself and only answerd very short.
then she was like if we want to stay in contact now or not since it seems like i’m not very interested in it. obviously i wanted to stay in contact but i also felt like i couldn’t tell her about the NC and everything and idk what we wrote but in the end i had to tell her what i was doing (NC). if i hadn’t she would have cut the contact once and for all and i just coudln’t risk it.
I’m still only telling her how great i am doing and all but i told her that i would like to be doing great with her. we had some more talking about what er were doing since the 21st and stuff.. and actually right at this moment i’m having a lot of fun with her writing.. we laugh and talk about random stuff and we bring up some nice and fun memories we had together even from before we were together 🙂
i have no idea if i just threw everything over board and have to start from scratch in a few days or if i am closing in on her either as being a friend or as BF .. i have no idea but at the moment it feels good to have a fun time! 🙂
i also told her how i changed now and she was like ” damn.. it’s like always.. everytime the thing i want in a person to change, changes too late” so i guess i am now (again) what she want but i have to get her feelings back or i’m just gonna be er friend..oh my.. so much happened in just a few hours… lets hope for the best ^^
i see your problem..
you have to find out what she wants and start with it. and then tell her slowly about it. like my ex wanted someone who was able to “let go” and just do the most silly stuff and have a great time.. i tried my best doing that the last few nights with my friend and while going out and now i slowly told her about it like what we did and so on and that’s when she said that what i told you before (with the too late)
well i tried my best just asking her stuff and getting answers this way but obviously i dont know if thats possible in your situation.. :/yes we are quite close! 😀
bro, i wish you the best of luck! keep me updated and i will too 😀
-Andi 🙂
alright, will do so.. either via whatsapp or on the FB wall .. will see
well i wasn’t her first bf ^^
she was definetly more mature than me but i think i am as well now atleast… 😀well i just had to gave up the contact with her friend since my ex was a bit angry at her for being in contact with me and i didn’t want her to be betwean two fronts.. so .. yeah.. i told her friend that she please tells me if anything important happens but i’m not talking to her like a friend anymore.
apparently she sent me messages but whatsapp doesn’t send them again if you unblock someone.. soooo i have no idea what she wrote :I and she doesnt know that i didn’t get it -.-
tinder is quite fun i have to say and i also got my first match today ^^
lets see how the writing goes 😀 obviously i am not open for a serious relationship again (except with my ex -.- ) but writing and well.. maybe some.. uhm.. fun wouldn’t hurt 😉
also i guess it’s just fine since she went clubbing and making out with guys 2 days after the breakup..yeah.. vacation is great 😀 went partying today with my friends and it was really fun…now i’m quite drunk but i think and hope that i’m still able to write understandable 😀
…sadly my friends went home since the clubs were soooo full so i didn’t get to talk to other girls but hey.. doesn’t matter ^^and how are you two doing at the moment? 🙂
in contact again or still / again NC ?
btw.. where are you two from?
me and my ex-gf are from austria and germany ^^-Andi 🙂
Also.. what am I supposed to do on her Birthday? (11th of April)
Just write a short message or nothing? :/Yes i know of those “Rebound Realtionships” but still…
You have to know that she was my very first actual GF.. and even worse.. she was the person I lost my Virginity to.. :I
That’s what confuses me.. am I really into her because of her or am I because of what she did then when I definetly was? …urgh… mindbending stuff.. but I think the NC will help to answer that kind of random stuff – I hope ^^Alright! Then i’m going to unblock her now. Maybe she wrote something in the meantime.. lets have a look.
Uhm.. no..nothing. Oh well.. but I know from a friend of her that the last time they met my ex was a bit drunk (during daytime o.0 ) and her friend told me that she seemd kinda pissed that I don’t answer. But now I’m not really sure to what I didn’t answer since I didn’t get any messages now..?? I don’t know.. ^^
Well I think thats a good sign. Maybe she thinks that I’m fine w/o her and she misses the conversations we had as friends and during the relationship. 🙂Yesterday I actually created a Tinder account to get in contact with new people for talking and well obviously there weren’t any matches yet since I live in a 150k population city but even though I didn’t actually had the contact, I feel better just from seeing them. I think it’s a bit weird to do that and that it works in that way but hey desperate times call for desperate measures, right? 😀
I’ll just keep doing what I’m doing. Now i have 1.5 weeks vacation and I’m looking forward to do a lot with my friends. Haven’t seen some of them in some time. 🙂
By the way, if I may ask.. how long ago is the your breakup with you ex-gf ? 🙂
I’m absolutely willing to help you out aswell if I can and may! 😀-Andi
any more ideas?
because i feel kind of .. idk.. broken
i feel like i have ups and downs at the moment.Ah thanks for the kind words 🙂
Oh and no worries, english isn’t my native language as well 😀About being used to the little or less contact. We had noticed that if we havn’t seen us for 3-4 weeks we would start to fight verbaly. So we started to see us every 2-3 weeks like i said. So i dont know if it will be necessary but i will definely check my feelings before getting in contact again!
I blocked her at FB (Messenger) and whatsapp .. should i keep it that way or should i notice the stuff she wirtes and just not answer? i just dont know about that yet.. ^^
atm i’m still really afraid of noticing that she has moved forward within those 30 days of NC .. i hope that gets better with the time :I
