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Well.. yeah.. we were kind of quick and i definitely don’t regret it 😀
So.. i told that one girl the truth about what’s going on in my life at the moment and that it could be that i have to stop the contact to her if i get back together with my ex since i’m 100% loyal when i’m in a relationship. At first she reacted very .. hm.. cold i guess. Just very short answers and no emoticons.. i think you know what i mean. But later that day she asked me if i wanted to meet with her and her cousin (female and 16 aswell) but sadly i had to say no.
Right now there are 2 girls that i met and i’d sleep with if i can until 18th. Both of them are very… interesting 😀
I didn’t tell the second girl about my ex since i dont really know her that much yet and i’d just simply stop the contact if necessary.I dont really know how to explain but i’m kind of fine with it if i dont get back together with my ex again but obviously i’d be really happy if we’d love each other again. But we’ll see on the 18th..
If she has changed a lot and i don’t have feelings for her “new” self i might aswell stay single and have interests in other girls 😉
If we love eachother again, she’ll by the only one in my life.I feel like your ex really tries to change but just cant really do it. Only she knows why she tries so hard..
If you are not in love with the girl she is now, then there is no reason to get back together with her. I hope that doesnt sound rude but we all have to accept that things have changed and we have aswell. If you really dont love her anymore then you might be better off with being just friends with her. But first make sure that you REALLY arent anymore!!Cool.. which youtubers will be there? 🙂
I really hope that she notices your changes and that both of you will be happy in the end 🙂Haha ^^
My ex was here one mobth ago and we were in an empty flat and there’s still all of our stuff there. I wasnt in there since then.. ^^Yes the 18th is coming soon! 🙂
Huh.. interesting. Tell me more about how you feel about the past if you want to 🙂
I myself stopped smelling the shirt when i went into strict NC and now i dont know if i should risk smelling at it again.. i dont want to lose all the progression that i have with kind of getting over her. I think it might be better to nkt smell it but smell herself on the 18th and see if something changed.Good luck in the new week 🙂
And sorry.. i wrote that all from my phone.. so i hope its not too bad :I
-Andi@Nedim
No.. i lost it to my ex on the first day we met ^^
Quite straight forward i guess… 😀Well.. it’s hard to not think about my ex when she has her birthday and i know that she misses me ^^
I think in the end i did the right thing today and just hope that she keeps missing me and isn’t looking for affection in someone else.Right now i’m supportive about sleeping with that new girl but somehow my opinion changes all the time which is quite weird but hey.. that’s not something that happens every day ^^
I’m really looking forward on meeting my ex again and asking her how her auditions in Berlin for univeristy went and about her B-Day and all that stuff ^^
But i also want to get REALLY drunk with her.. should end up in a lot of fun 😀
I feel like i’m kind of over her because i still think about her but it’s not like i feel like crying or anything… i guess i kind of accepted that it could be forever but having a few more days of NC will help even more 🙂Hm.. it really seems like your ex wants to change in some ways but i’m not sure why..
What game did she play?I think that you will know what to do when you need to know. You’re right that she probably won’t run up to you like that but i think she might act a little different and after the video or actually after she saw it you should be on a STRICT NC. I’d advise you to not talk to her or the groupchat.. She’ll think a lot about you and will wonder where you’re at. And then 1-3 days later you write her. 🙂
Personally i think that’s the right move but maybe you think that something else is better. If so, do that 🙂Since my ex broke up with me on the 21st last month it’s nearly a month for me and actually it’s 1 month since i saw her the last time at my place…
I’m really interested in how things will turn out on the 18th – for us both! 🙂I don’t really know what to write but the one thing i can tell you is that right now you should focus on all the problems you had but just for yourself and change those things but don’t talk with your ex about it. Your ex will notice ! 🙂
-Andi
alright, now that i’m sober i can write properly 😀
so i didnt meet with that girl yet but i’m still a bit confused if i should…
obviously i don’t have a problem with me having sex with her but it might get confusing if i get back together with my ex. still gotta think about it..
She’s hot and hey… we are talking about emotionless sex which is great but still.. my emotions confuse me ^^Changing the profile picture is a good idea! 🙂
Make sure it shows your new self and it will work for you really nicely!nice story 🙂
who knows.. maybe you can do all that again with her 😉My ex has her birthday today and since we have NC atm i didnt write her anything. She then sent me a message that she can’t believe that i didn’t even write her on such a important day and that she asked if that means that we aren’t meeting on the 18th. About an hour later i wrote back that we will still be meeting on the 18th and that i sent her a letter but it seems like its coming too late (i didn’t send it yet..) i then told her that my mum is in hospital since yesterday (which is true) so i didn’t see the message (which is not true).
She then asked what is wrong with my mum (so no talking about the birthday anymore or her being angry about it!)
again about an hour later i answerd that she has a problem with her lungs an now gets oxygen and stuff.
She answered that she’s very sorry and that she hopes that she’ll be fine again soon.
I answered that i’m sure that she’ll be fine again and that i take care of the housekeeping at the moment. then i just said that i wish her a nice day and a lot of fun and that I’m arriving on 15:03.
She said that thats good (housekeeping) and thanked me.I hope she won’t sleep with anyone tonight because she misses me and well.. yeah.. that’s what i’m hoping. I do hope that she misses me (which she seems to do since there wouldnt be a reason to be angry at me for not wishing her a nice birthday etc.)
@Nedim
thanks for the kind words.. at the moment i’m quite drunk .. sorry ^^
i’ll give you some useful talk tomorrow morning (if i dont forget :/ )till tomorrow… stay strong! 🙂
Yes.. that’s what i meant 😀
Then fulfill your ideas of how to change and then contact her afterwards 🙂Will do so 🙂
No i have no idea what so ever.. we didn’t talk at all since i said so.
But as i said i’m talking to other girls now too and well.. one of them wants to meet up. I didn’t tell her that my ex broke up with me 4 weeks ago and that i want her back but i told her that i still think about her and i dont want a new relationship at the moment. So… well… things turned out interesting and she wants us to be friends with benefits…. AND I HAVE NOT A SINGLE CLUE IF THAT’S THE RIGHT THING TO DO! -.-
On the one hand, my ex broke up with me and already slept with someone else and i want to kind-of-get-over her and i should live my life how i want now but on the other hand i’m still in love with her and want her back… this whole thing could be either helpful or confusing.
Me and my ex had a talk some months ago that she wouldn’t want to know if i slept with someone else so it wouldn’t affect my ex but it would certainly affect me.
I am very confused… but hey.. 9 days until i meet my ex.. ^^huh. that’s interesting.. i have no idea what she wants to tell us/you/them but i guess she wants to change but not too much… quite weird and i don’t really understand why…
Nice 🙂
I hope it works out for you 🙂
Tell me how the changes worked out for you afterwards!You’ll do great at the filming!
Keep me updated! 🙂
-Andi@Nedim
nice that you made it 🙂
as long as you want her as a friend and you don’t see that she wants more, then it’s fine.hm.. well… if it was just for you, then it’s definitely a message that she kind of changed if it was for more ppl, then it might have been but not definitely. Anyway, i think that’s kind of a good sign.. maybe she wants you to think that she moved on but actually hasn’t really 🙂
About the book.. yeah.. I just look some different ones up and i chose that one since it seemed to be the least disappointing if it doesn’t work out ^^
I’m not through the whole thing yet but i will be in a few days 🙂
I know what you mean about the negative feelings. I’m just worried that i annoyed her so much that the negative feelings are from that and not because of the break up… but lets just hope i did and will do everything right now! 😀
Yeah, i won’t talk about it. I really want to show her what i changed into and i hope she likes it 🙂
Spending a whole day with her is hopefully enough to ignite a new flame .. or even a few small sparks.. just enough to make her ready and willing for a new relationship! 🙂I really don’t think that you should be afraid. Either they are just meeting up or he is one of those boyfriends that a girl has after a breakup (forgot the name xD )
I think you should end NC on the 18th and see what happens. If it doesn’t work out, go for BIG changes like NC for half a year or something. Try to not even see her in the group conversation or anything else.. remove yourself out of her life and then if you really still want her after 6 months of not talking, seeing and writing, then you can try again and look how she has changed. 🙂
Man if i could see the future, she wouldn’t even had to break up with me ^^ I would have changed so we would be fine for eternity! 😀YES!
10 more days..
..of improving
..of not writing
..of hard work
..of waiting
..until we see if it worked out!-Andi
I have the feeling that this other girl likes you? ^^
Or are you two really just friends? 🙂1 more week is hard but you can do it. Just focus a lot on school and hobbies!! 🙂
Don’t be afraid of this guy.. he won’t stand a chance when you show up 😉-Andi
argh.. i need to get something off my chest aswell already..
it’s nice to talk to some other girls and it’s also quite some fun but some of them start to bore me so badly and deep down in my heart i miss my ex so much….
still 10 days untill we meet and probably 9 until i talk to her again so she knows when i arrive … 10 very long and heart-crushing days…I hope it wasn’t too late! :'(
Actually i was desperate enough to buy a book (something like relationship rewind but in german) and it gave me the answers i already had in front of me but just didn’t see. Now i hope that she’ll miss me a lot (is it bad to wish for that since she has bad feelings then? :I ) and i want to meet her on the 18th with a lot of energy and willpower. Like i said, i want to lead the way to the places that we go, always grabbing her hand and more or less “pull” her to show how much i want to see and experience with her again. I also want to NOT talk about the relationship during that time but just have a lot of fun and look her in the eyes like a grandfather does with his wife of 50 years.. you know what i mean.. i think then i’ll be able to see if she still has the same look for me.
Dont worry.. i won’t talk to her till the 18th unless it’s something about the meeting or something really important but i will definetly NOT talk about the relationship unless she makes it clear that she decided that she misses me or something like that.
Yes i hope that we get together in the new relationship and then we can make fun of each other by saying that our exes were really weird and douchy and idk what but the sex was great.. haha 😀 Let’s hope that we’ll be able to do so !Was the picture only for you?
It’s good for you if she wasn’t able to change her weight.. that means that she couldn’t move on (yet). Do yourself a favor and don’t delete the pictures… if you want to you can move them away in a different folder so you don’t have to see them all the time but believe me.. you are going to wish you hadn’t deleted them if you do!The story of your sister is really nice and should give all of us a lot of hope! :))
Oh my god.. i’m so sorry for you.. that must have been the worst thing ever.. i can imagine how much pain you felt. I don’t want to hurt you but i think it was the wrong decission that you told your family that she was “sick”. Obviously you can’t change it now but still… you should have told them that you broke up.. i know that it would have been really hard but that would have been the very first step. 🙂
I guess none of our exes can imagine the pain that we went and are still going trough..Don’t worry.. just write whenever you feel like it!! 🙂
It helps to write all that stuff down 🙂hmmm .. this poem is really quite interesting but i think she was talking about herself and you. I think after the video that you are going to film, you should start to talk to her and talk about the changes that would need to happen in order to have a relationship again 🙂
I feel like she is afraid that if she comes back and you two come together again that there will be the very same problems again.
Obviously a relationship isn’t a street without potholes but it can be if both of you work on it! 🙂KEEP ON FIGHTING UNTIL YOU DONT FEEL LIKE IT ANYMORE!
If you want her back – FIGHT!
@aqua
no problem 🙂
we are all expiriencing the same problems and we are here to help eachother and ourselves! 🙂
it’s really important to understand when to give your ex the space he/she needs and when to be there for her.. it also takes quite some luck i guess.. :Ibest of luck to all of us and let’s keep being strong!! 🙂
IT WILL BE WORTH IT-Andi (sorry for any typos or weird sentences.. i’m already quite tired ^^ .. 01:27 AM 😀 )
I feel so broken..
2 Days ago in the evening we had a talk and i asked her about the “if only she could now live her life and in 6 months she could meet me” thing and she said that we’ll talk about it the next day. that was fine with me so i went to bed and in the morning i texted her and she told me that she thinks that it might be better if we wouldn’t talk for a day. I just said that’s okay with me and minded my own buissnes. During that day i realised that she needs space to start missing me – i dont know why i didn’t understand that earlier -.-
so late at night i wrote her. she was mad at me that i wrote her since we wanted to have no contact for that day which i just forgot in this moment >.<
then i told her that i accept the breakup and that i’m glad that i can now work on myself. I told her that i need time and space appart from her in order to know if i really still want the realtionship and that this is good for both of us. I told her that since i already have the ticket we will see us on the 18th of april if she wants to. I told her that i can not be friends with her at the moment and i just have to find out what i really want.
She then answered quite angry that i dont have to come on the 18th and i should send her stuff via mail and she pays for it. (i think i pushed her in a corner 🙁 )
i then said that i still want to visit her and that i will do so.
she replied that she has enough of my “mood swings” and that she’s tired of it. (wich i understand.. that also why i have NC now again till 18th)
I told her that i understand how she feels and why she is angry right now but i told her that i’m not satisfied with having a friendship with her right now and that that’s what the distance is now good for.
I told her that i understand that she had to suffer from a lot of psychological pain in the relationship and that she just couldn’t hold it anymore. I told her that continuing with this relationship wouldn’t work out and we would just have the same problems again after some time. So i told her that i now want to think about everything and if i would like to start a NEW relationship with her or if i think that we are better off with being single and THEN i might be able to be just friends with her since a friendship just wouldn’t work out if i still want her as my girlfriend.
she just said “alright” so i asked her if she wants to say something or if she has any questions and she replied with “Leave me alone. enough already”
and since then i didnt write her.
i hope i didn’t make it worse but i think i would have been better off with not doing that till 18th and then do it if it didn’t work out but well.. now it’s too late :I
i just hope that she’ll miss me till 18th and i want to be going around with her as a friend on the 18th. I want to be leading the way to some places and i want to be energetic and going forwards! if things turn bad i’ll just have to leave and if things go fine.. who knows 🙂
anyhow.. if she isn’t my gf again after 18th i will continue NC until summer.
i stopped smelling her shirt since it won’t let me move one but I MISS HER SOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
..sorry..
i feel like i’d like to fall in a coma and wake up in idk.. 1-2 months again… just to let time pass since it’s soooo freaking difficult to not contact her or think about her :'(
…expecially at night when i’m trying to fall asleep.. i miss her touch, her sounds of breathing and her voice. i even miss arguing with her since afterwards we always hugged each other and told us that we love us… i can’t wait till the 18th and now there’s also so much to do for school and i just can’t focus.. 🙁
i need to do positive stuff and think positive… i do a lot of sports now and now i’ll also start to learn more again! i hope i get a good amount of positive feedback from school etc.
I need to keep myself pumped and full of energy and then release the energy while doing something useful!
@aqua
hey, no i don’t mind at all! 🙂
the more people the better, right? 😀
I think he needs some time appart aswell as my ex. Just try to keep up NC as good as possible! he need to notice that you aren’t in his life anymore if he really breaks up with you! that’s also what i struggled with..
If he writes you, answer him kindly but not tooooo friendly. DONT talk about emotions and if possible, you should stop the conversation, not him!
keeping yourself away from FB is good! 🙂
..well we’ll see how the meeting will end up :I
i hope for the best! – for all of us-Andi
me and someone else had a simmilar conversation.. maybe you want to join us? 🙂
Yes she did.. apparently it wasn’t just anybody but also nothing special.. idk… i’m trying to forget it but the fact that i still want her back does it mean that i’m crazy or am i just really in love with her? :I
We are going to meet on the 18th of april (in 2 weeks) and i told her that if we don’t get back together i will stop the contact since i wouldn’t be able to get over her otherwise. however i might start contact again after a few months. i want to finish school and she should be back from london by then.
I’m trying to be strong but the problem is when i am she gets angry and everything wich isn’t great either..
idk..
it still feels really weird to lose her since she was the only female friend i had/have. that’s something i never even realised till now…haha that’s great 😀
yes tell me after she did something! 🙂i actually did the same to my ex.. i told her that i couldn’T come and she was really sad and then i stood in front of her door 😀
..the amount of tears rushing down her face back then.. damn ^^ i guess it was a big suprise ^^i’m sure you will.. but tell me what you got 😀
-Andi
Sry.. i had no time yesterday :/
I am sooooo confused an my ex is aswell. Once she is really friendly and we have a great time and then she says that i dont respect her decission and that i shouldnt be to positive about getting together with her again after we meet.
She also told me that she slept with someone else in the meantime… i still want her back but that hurt a lot 🙁
I also asked her if she talked with her frie ds about us having contact again and everything and she said no.. maybe she doesnt want them to know? Im quite sad an frustrated and i’d like to cry but i’ll keep fighting … i have to-Andi (from my smartphone)
@Nedim
sry i dont have a lot of time today but i still wanna write you though! 🙂yeah i’m really happy that she said that! 😀
hm were you doing a lot with her? like going out or going to a park or swimming.. something like that?i guess i’ll just do whatever seems right at the time.. ^^
i personaly think that you should either have absolutely no contact (if possible) OR completely stop with NC and start writing again like there never was a problem.
oh yes. this video is a great opportunity! :))
give your best and just be your new self! show everybody – not just her – how well you are doing! 🙂yeah.. it’s not easy and a lot of stress but let’s hope that it’s going to be worth it! 😀
..my ex told me that she misses me! can you believe that? 😮 :)))
she also told me that she would like to live her life at the moment and that it would have been the best if we would not have met yet but in say half a year and then get together. because she wants to get some expirience and see the world. i then asked her if i prevent her of doing that and she said no and that she is confused at the moment. i’m quite sure that there are some other guy(s) trying to get her but it seems like she is still bound to me mentally wich is good. 🙂
i really start to think that when we meet there will be sparks between us again! 🙂about the perfume.. i dont know if i should get a completely new one or use the one i had when we first got together.. wouldn’t that also be good? wouldn’t that make her remember what we had back then?
if i were you, i’d talk to some friend of yours and hers and ask them if they know anything.. information is key i guess 🙂
..but don’t you stalk her! 😀hm.. i don’T really know what else to write.. hm sry :I
maybe i’m just tired ^^
see you again tomorrow 😀
