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Well here’s a blast from the past being resurrected!
This post was me, just over three years ago. Things got worse a couple of weeks after I posted my original thread, another argument when the toxic friend got involved again, and that was it. No contact either way from early August 2019… we both just got on with our own lives.
Fast forward to April 2022, and an unexpected meeting between mutual friends which lead us to see and speak to each other for the first time in nearly three years. By the end of the day, when we left each other, he hugged me and told me he missed me. Within 24 hours, all the old emotions and feelings for each other came back for both of us.
We talked, a lot, over the following days and weeks. He apologised a lot for the way he handled everything before, for us splitting, for him leaving. The toxic friend was no longer a friend, and hadn’t been for nearly a year. I apologised for my parts in it all too. We both wanted to give us a proper chance. So we did.
We’ve now been back together for around 6 months, and he moved in with me a few weeks ago. We’re both the happiest we’ve ever been.
I’d sometimes dreamt over the last few years about us getting back together, never in a million years did I think it would actually happen though.
All I will say to anyone is don’t ever give up hope. I honestly thought we were dead in the water, despite wanting nothing more than for us to be together. Time truly is a great healer, yes it’s taken a couple of years, but it’s been worth the wait.
Wow. How very blunt. I was expecting honesty, but not assumptions.
We fought with our feelings, and did the right thing by our respective ex-partners as soon as we worked out that being together was what we wanted.
There is no indication in my post of how much I drink, or he, so please don’t make assumptions.
Both of our mental states were actually the best they had been for a good six months or so – until he pulled the plug on our relationship.
I have actually sought help since all this happened, and I am again in a much better place, hence me now looking to address and improve the situation. I believe he is too, having seen this for myself this week.
We were both committed to what we wanted. Going through everything we did to not end up together was not on either of our minds. For the most part, circumstance conspired against us, bad timing even, but we are now both in much more stable situations as I explained.
I accept I made mistakes, and have said this to him. He has also admitted he made mistakes, but not to me, just to our mutual friend. This friend is aware of how good we were, how good we still could be, was stunned when we split up, and he has been helping BOTH of us through what has been an incredibly tough three months.
I will not be going back to my husband. He accepts that, and we are very amicable.
As I said, in the last week my ex and I have finally made progress after nearly 3 months apart, and a month NC. No coincidence this the toxic woman isn’t around. Thankfully she isn’t for another couple of weeks. After the couple of texts Wed night, we had another text conversation on Thursday, mostly about the cat, but he actually mentioned meeting him for a drink on Thursday night. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to make it. There has been no bombardment from either side, and certainly not from me for nearly three months.
Also, the turning up unannounced at his work was the POLICE, not me, apologies if that wasn’t clear. They got him to call me and forced him to get me to tell him where I was so that they could find me.
As I asked, I was looking more for advice how to proceed with him after NC than a character assassination of what has already passed. I felt that giving as much background to what happened was only appropriate, but also explained that we now seem to have turned a corner and I’m very conscious of not fucking up again.
