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Well my ex is still here, things have taken a bit of a turn today though. I’m not sure what to say about it because my emotions are taking control… Im just mad. Not sure if my anger is justified or just paranoia about things.
I don’t think we have dealt with our issues. We have ignored them instead of dealing with them. I don’t think we have done it in the right way… I guess I didn’t read enough on this subject to deal with it in the right way.
So yeah, mistakes have been made and maybe they’re mistakes that I can’t fix. None of us have cheated (on my side at least, she tells me she hasn’t and I do believe her) but I just feel that she has changed a lot. She has become someone different, and I’m not sure that this new person fits with me. I’d love it to work… Seriously. I’d honestly give everything I own for it to work… But it seems that my brain won’t get over things and my new distrust in our relationship makes me too paranoid.
I’ll keep you updated depending on what happens… I suspect I’ll be pretty depressed if things go bad though. I already feel it tbh.
I think I’m an ok guy, I’m far from perfect and I have problems… I think it was these problems that caused our breakup. Nothing big, just depression that she couldn’t cope with. The distance made it hard to fix things during it and made my depression worse.
I don’t know if I’m Ok with my ex. I’m not saying we’ll work yet… But we have a past and do I want to waste that time? I don’t know.
You’re at a stage now that you see life is ok without them. You can think more rationally… Though I think anger is still there. You’re not heeled yet, nor is he. My days for her contacting me was around 60. So give it time and by then you might not even want him… It sounds that way.
You’re doing great. You sound stronger than me tbh.
Hi Connor, I don’t think anyone but experts make a clean break from their ex without begging and sending messages we later regret… I know i did. I wrote loads…. Luckily for me she blocked me so didn’t read them all…
But now we know. Anything past these points we know what we’re doing. We have little excuse now. We know it’s hard and everything in us wants to contact them and check out if they’re moving on.
Right now I’m sat next to the ex who is now not my ex… Everything I did wrong is forgotten, or ignored. I think that the time away has made those feelings of falling out of love with me fade… Not it looks like she remembers only the positive things.
One good thing for me is I know what I did wrong last time. I’m trying to stop those things and improve the good things.
Its not perfect, but it shows that it can help having no contact.
Good luck. If you need to talk let me know in a PM
Hey, sorry for the late reply. I need to be honest, I had given up on it. I’d gone over 30 days and because it was two months I assumed it wouldn’t work. When I say I was a mess, I’m not exaggerating. I was bad… I even went away as I needed friends around me. I just don’t want you thinking I had it all worked out. I think it important as if you suffer… You’ll want to know that it’s ok and that you aren’t alone. It really f*cking hurts.
Right now I’m on a train taking my dog to a friends… My ex is coming to UK to see me for a few weeks. She lives in Canada so it’s been a long distance relationship… Which is hard but before we split we made it work by seeing each other around 2-3 times a year for long periods.
We have not committed to each other yet. We are seeing how it goes.
I think it’s important that I make her try. I make her think I can move on if needed and that others want me. I can tell that the thought of me being with someone else hurts her and makes her try harder… Which is what I want.
I know it sucks to view it as a game… But in reality all relationships are. It might seem cold… But my relationship ended because I stopped viewing it as one.
If you need to talk let me know. Message me.
I was dying when it happened. Don’t underestimate the pain and anxiety you’ll suffer with (if you’re like me anyway) and it lasted around 3 weeks to a month. I nearly broke no contact a few times.
Whatever you do, don’t check her social media. Block her in every way possible. It’ll hurt looking. Tell friends that you don’t want to know.
I have talked to my ex a lot since she wanted me back. She tried moving on.. She did fall out of love with me… But, time made her remember things. She realised what she lost. My no contact made her think I’d moved on. She thought about me more and more… Then she checked my social media and saw I was going out and living. I didn’t post sad things so she assumed women wanted me. I did go on dates, but just dates.
Since she contacted me I still show that I am wanted by other women. She wants me. She tries like crazy to win me back.
Its hard not to get back like I was in the relationship… So I still try to limit my time with her… Even though I don’t want to. I need to make her want me.
Stay strong. You WON’T get her back if you talk to her and beg. I promise you.
I am definitely trying. I’m trying to keep the power in the relationship as she is definitely trying to get me back… I think it is important as if she is the one trying, I don’t have to do anything.
I broke the no contact rule when we first split. We got back together… But, it didn’t last. I was a mess and couldn’t get over it.
The first month of no contact is hard. You’re an addict and coming off the drugs of the relationship is hard… But it does get easier. I went two month without contact…. And she missed me like crazy. I imagined different, I imagined she was in a relationship or just happy without me. Reality is that she wasn’t.
It takes them time to realise what they had. If you’re not giving them that time, they can’t miss you. They can’t realise that.
Its hard. Believe me… I thought I was dying. I suffered a lot. It was a nightmare.
Hi, I can’t offer much advice as I’m in the same boat. One thing I notice is that we both think the same things “will they find someone, they’re jealous? That’s a good thing? NC is hard.
I guess when seeing it from someone else you can see things differently. He sounds like he’s thinking about if you can work. He obviously isn’t ready for what he thinks you wanted.
I honestly don’t know if NC works. I’m trying it (only 4 days in and I’m dying) but I don’t know of any other way without ruining things more than I already have. I’m sure you feel the same. We are way too emotional about it.
I hope you can stick to it. You have been strong so far, keep trying.
